Watching
by AndAllThatMishigas
Summary: Sequel to Glances. Three years later, Nick and Jen and their family face another crisis that threatens to tear apart the beautiful life they fought to create together. They'll do anything to protect it and save their family.
1. Chapter 1

**Watching**

_It takes a special kind of strength to wait. There is a fear in waiting that needs to be overcome in order find the way ahead, in order to do what is right. And the way to wait and to know for sure comes only from watching. Always watching._

The day started mercifully quiet. It didn't start that way often in the Buchanan house with two police officers and two six-year-olds living there. During the week, the children were always bickering about something. Nick shaved and put on his suit and made four plates of breakfast. Jennifer ran in and out, tending to the children and doing her makeup and making packed lunches. Monday through Friday, mornings were chaos.

But today was Saturday. Saturdays had mornings of magic. No alarms were set. Nick woke up early and went out for a run. Jen would sleep in and end up with one or both of her children snuggling with her. Cody would bounce out of bed, a morning person like his dad. Ella would start slow and soft and subtle. After his shower, Nick would make pancakes and the four of them would sit in front of the television to watch cartoons all together.

This Saturday, however, was quite different. They had a very busy day planned on this particular Saturday. Jennifer set the alarm early, knowing she would need to start the day and get everyone else moving and keep them all organized. Nick had his own list of tasks to take care of, so he wouldn't be able to assist her as much as he normally would.

A million things were running through Jen's mind when the shill beeping sounded. She turned over and hit the button to turn it off as quick as she could. Nick didn't need to get up yet, and she needed some more quiet before the twins were up and causing their well-intentioned havoc.

Nick made a small groan, making Jen smile. "Shh, stay in bed," she murmured. Jen did her best to not make too much noise or otherwise disturb him as she got up and stretched and headed into their master bathroom.

God, she loved this bathroom. The tub was enormous, chosen by Nick specifically so the two of them could share it. And they had, many times. They'd made love in that bath. They'd comforted each other after she had been shot and held each other much later was obscenely pregnant in that bath. She'd liked taking baths when she was pregnant. The water helped alleviate some of the weight of carrying twins inside her womb. She could lie in the bath and sing softly to the babies in her belly until all the bubbles were gone and the water had gone cold. She would call to Nick who would pick her up so she could get out of the bath. He was so strong, her husband. Strong and kind and good. He could still lift her up and carry her and have extremely good sex with her when she'd gained fifty pounds during those nine months of pregnancy.

But no time for a bath today. Perhaps tomorrow, when the weekend was over and they could relax again. No, for now, Jen needed to take a quick shower to wash her hair and wake up her body for the day. She started the water so it would heat up while she got undressed.

Jennifer looked in the mirror above the sinks, scrutinizing her naked body before getting in the shower. She liked to think she still looked rather good. She was now closer to fifty than forty. A lot of the muscle definition and tightness had left her. She wasn't really as active as she used to be. But her arms were still alright and her stomach still flat. The baby weight had come right off her, which was a surprise. Carrying two infants around was good for that, she supposed. Probably why her arms were so nicely toned. But breast feeding and sleepless nights and being too tired to eat for almost a whole year after the babies were born meant that she lost weight very quickly. Perhaps too quickly. Her body certainly wasn't anywhere near the same as it had once been. She'd been thin but soft and smooth. Now, she was rounder in some places but had much sharper angles in others. An interesting change. But she had built two perfect babies inside that body, so whatever had happened was all for the best.

"Admiring yourself?"

She saw Nick standing in the doorway, watching her. "Examining, more like," she said. "You should be sleeping."

"I could be sleeping, but then I'd miss the nice view," he replied with a smile.

"Well I've got to take a shower, so you can view me later."

"How about I view you in the shower?" he offered.

Jen bit her lip. They really didn't have the time for this…but she had gotten up so early…and it would be a nice way to start the day. "Come on, then," she agreed.

Nick stripped off his shirt and trunks, leaving them on the floor behind him as he crossed the bathroom to join her. She opened the glass door to the shower and stepped under the steaming water, leaving room for Nick. Neither of them said a word as he closed the door, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her deeply. After all, there was no miscommunication between them on this. Taking a shower together had only one meaning for them. They both knew what they were doing.

As their wet skin slid together, Jen felt Nick's erection growing against her belly. She nibbled on his bottom lip, making him groan and thrust his hips against her. He pulled his face back from her to trail his kisses down her neck, very careful not to leave any marks. That would do for today. He bowed his head to swirl his tongue around her hardened nipple. Jen gasped at the sensation. Nick's hands made their way down her body, massaging her bum before his fingers slipped down between her legs.

Jen could barely breathe from the way he expertly teased her and the water from the shower getting in her nose and mouth. But she didn't care a single bit. Nick's big, thick fingers were inside her, stretching and readying her. Her inner walls began to flutter, so he pulled his hand away. She whined in disappointment, but Nick did not leave her wanting for long. He was fully hard by now. He took her left leg and lifted it, hooking her knee over his elbow and holding her steady. He used his other hand to line himself up at her entrance and thrust hard inside. Jen bit down on his muscled shoulder to keep from crying out. But this was not an irregular occurrence for them. She knew where she could muffle her moans and screams in places on his body that no one would see.

"Oh fuck, oh god, Jen!" Nick grunted as he pounded into her. The slap of their bodies under the shower spray echoed in the quiet morning. Jen gasped and whimpered his name as she got closer and closer to her release. Nick's mind had gone blank as tried to hold on as long as he could. But finally, her body shattered, clenching his cock inside her and pulsating with pleasure. He came almost immediately, spilling inside her with a few jerking spurts.

As much as he usually liked to hold her close and stay inside her while they recovered, Nick knew they didn't have time for that this morning. Quickie in the shower, nothing more. And Jen still had to wash her hair.

"Nice way to start the day," he said, once he regained the ability to speak.

She chuckled breathlessly. He'd put her leg down, but she felt a bit wobbly. She leaned into his chest and loosely wrapped her arms around his waist. "Best way to start the day. And I think we're still doing pretty well for a couple of middle-aged parents."

"Next time the kids are out of the house, I'll have you screaming the rafters down," he growled.

Jen shivered at that. "I'll hold you to it, Buchanan."

He grinned and bent his head down to kiss her. "Best get a move on now," Nick whispered, kissing her lips against softly.

"I'd say so. Plenty to get to today," she said in agreement.

Nick nodded and finally pulled back for good. "Let me do a quick wash, and I can shave at the sink. I think just eggs and toast for breakfast today, yeah?"

Jen started shampooing her hair while Nick soaped and rinsed his body. "Yeah, they're gonna want pancakes but we just don't have time today. I've got to be out of here by nine to go over to the house. Bernice is going to pick up the kids at eleven. You'll be alright till then?"

"Yeah, no worries." He shifted past her to get out of the shower. "There you go. Get yourself together. You want me to wake them up?"

She considered that for a moment. "Yeah, might be best. You wake them up and say they can put on the telly till breakfast is ready. That should motivate them. But I'll check in on them when I go down, in case they're feeling stubborn."

Nick gave a small laugh. "Any bets on who's gonna throw a fit first today?"

"Cody will probably like the TV idea. Ella, I might have to bribe with something else. We'll see. But I don't think they're the ones who will be having any kind of real tantrum today."

That stopped some of Nick's good humor. His wife was right. Their kids were not going to be the problem today. But isn't that always the way of things? The bride is always the one to make the biggest fuss.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick was already downstairs by the time Jen got out of the shower. She put on her face creams and did a quick blowdry of her hair. Then, after a glance in the bedroom to see that Nick wasn't around, she put on the lingerie set that she'd gotten to wear under her bridesmaid dress. That would be a fun surprise for him when they got home after the wedding tonight. She wasn't usually the sort of person to wear this sort of pink, but the color certainly wasn't her choice. So she'd make the best of it and have a little fun with her husband. She hadn't anticipated starting the day with a shag in the shower, but they'd rally when they got home. Thinking about it now, Jen realized she couldn't quite recall the last time she gave him a blowjob, so surely he'd be interested in receiving one while she wore neon fuchsia lingerie.

She pulled on a pair of soft leggings and an old jumper for the time being. Her shoes and dress and jewelry were already packed in a bag for her to take to the house to get ready. Jen went barefoot in her comfy clothes down the hall. She heard the television on downstairs, but that did not give her a full picture of what was going on.

Just to check, she went into the old nursery that had been converted into the children's room. And sure enough, Ella was wrapped up in her bed, clutching her stuffed rabbit. Gently, Jen sat on the edge of the bed and pulled back the duvet to reveal her daughter's scrunched up little face. She stroked her bright blonde hair softly. "Time to get up, Ell," she murmured.

Ella just grumbled and pressed her face into the pillow.

Jen knew from experience that she needed to treat her daughter very kindly for any hope of getting her up when she didn't want to. If pressed too far, Ella would erupt into hysterics. Cody was more the one to throw a tantrum and shout, but Ella would dig her heels in and cry quietly and become quite inconsolable. With all the excitement of the day, Jen knew to avoid that as much as possible. "Come on, sweet girl. You have to get up so we can have breakfast and then get you all ready in your pretty dress. Remember the dress you get to wear today? You'll get to spin around and look like a princess. Won't that be fun?"

That at least got Ella to roll over and open her eyes. Oh how Jen loved those eyes. Nick said that she and Ella had the same color eyes, but Jen always thought Ella's were bluer. Bright and sparkling and intelligent. Her daughter was quiet, like Nick, but she possessed a depth that Jen was ever so proud of.

"There's my girl," Jen greeted with a smile. She leaned in and kissed Ella's forehead. And Ella wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and hugged her close.

"Mummy, can SamBun come to the wedding?" she asked upon letting go.

"He can come with you to get ready, but he'll have to stay in my bag during the ceremony. But you can bring him to the party if you want," Jen conceded.

Ella seemed satisfied enough with that and hugged her rabbit close. He'd been a birthday gift from Uncle Stanley. Wolfie doted on the children. He knew that they had no grandfather—Jen's father had left when she was just about Ella's age, never to be seen again, and Nick's father had died when he was a teenager—but Stanley Wolfe was a better grandfather than any blood relation ever could be. He'd retired from the State Police two years ago, now. He traveled with his wife and spent time with his own children, but he never missed a school play or footie game for Ella and Cody. And for their last birthday, he'd brought the most marvelous stuffed animals back from his last trip to South Africa. A calico rabbit for Ella, who she had named SamBun, and an elephant for Cody, who he had named Lionel. But while Lionel lived in the toy chest, SamBun went with Ella everywhere she could manage to take him.

At last, Jen had Ella out of bed and they went downstairs together. Nick already had breakfast nearly ready.

"Cody, turn that off now, please," Jen called to her son.

He whipped his head around to complain, but he saw the look on his mum's face and wisely kept his mouth shut. He switched the telly off and shuffled over to the table.

Nick had that wry, affectionate smile on his face as he put plates of scrambled eggs and toast in front of each twin and a larger portion down for himself and another for Jen. She went to the fridge to find the jam she and Cody both liked with their toast.

As she turned back, however, Nick had snuck right behind her. "Oh, hello," she said in surprise.

He put his hands on her hips and leaned in for a soft kiss. "Hi," he whispered.

Jen just smiled. Nick unhanded her and they went to sit down for breakfast. Neither of their children were at all fazed by the affectionate moment between their parents, something that Jen was quite pleased about. She and Nick had fought so hard to have this life together, and she wanted her children to grow up knowing what true love looked like, and to know that their parents loved each other and loved them both more than anything. Jennifer's own upbringing had not included any of that, and she had vowed to do better for her children.

As they ate, Nick reminded everyone of what the day had in store. "Everyone ready for the big day?" he asked.

Cody piped up at once. "Why's it such a big day? It's just a wedding, right?"

"It's just a wedding, yes," Nick agreed, "But your Auntie Hope likes to make a big deal out of things. And it's her wedding day and everything is going to go exactly how she wants it, alright?" Nick had spent his whole life catering to his baby sister's whims. But now, at least, she had another man to count on for her happiness. Nick, who had been the only male figure in her life after their father died when she was an infant, was finally handing off the reins. Poor devil.

Ella turned to Jen. "Mummy, I think it's going to be exciting."

"It is exciting. Weddings are a lot of fun. It's about two people who love each other starting their life together and sharing their happiness with all their friends and family. And it's extra special because we all get to be a part of it," Jen replied.

"Is that why we have to be there early?" Cody asked.

"Yes," Nick answered. "I'm the Best Man, which means I have to help the groom. But men usually don't need as much time as women to get things ready, so you and I will go over and get ready later. You'll need to practice carrying the rings and then we can get our fancy suits on." Nick was proud to be Best Man, and very pleased for his son to be Ring Bearer. He was less pleased to be wearing an uncomfortable gray suit and obnoxiously bright pink tie. But Hope wanted her wedding to be pink, so all the accents were going to be pink. No one could ever really say no to Hope, and in this case, the groom actually quite liked all of her ideas. He had quite the affinity for color.

"And I'm a bridesmaid," Jen added. "So I'll go over to Gram's house to help Hope and get ready with Auntie Danielle and Auntie Kim. And then Auntie Bernice is going to bring you over later so you can wear your pretty dress and get the flowers, alright?" she said to Ella.

Ella nodded in understanding. She'd been quite excited to be asked to be Flower Girl. Particularly when she saw the pink dress she was going to wear. It was just like Mummy's dress, only just right for a little girl.

"Dad, do we get to do anything fun with Uncle Dunny?" Cody asked.

Nick chuckled at that. "Knowing him, there will be something fun to do."

It was still hard to believe that Duncan Freeman was marrying Nick's sister. But they were perfect for each other. Hope, after all, was not as vapid as she seemed to the untrained eye. And Duncan had been absolutely blown away by her. She was very pretty, which suited Dunny just fine, and they both shared a love of the finer things in life. They fit together extremely well. Nick had never seen either of them so happy. And now Duncan was going to be his brother. They'd been brothers in arms for years now, best friends since before they'd even made detective. Now it was going to be official. Everyone Nick loved in the whole world was going to be at this wedding, and he couldn't be happier.


	3. Chapter 3

Usually Jen appreciated the company of adults away from work. She was so consumed with being a mum in her personal time that she didn't often get a chance to have adult company other than Nick outside of the police station. But at this exact moment, she would have given anything for the excuse of motherhood to escape the crowd of women she was with.

Hope was being herself, pouting over all the things that weren't exactly how she wanted. Her mother, Eloise, was doing her best to placate the bride. Danielle, Matron of Honor and Hope's sister, was keeping out of the line of fire and running around to get all the last minute details organized for the wedding. The ceremony started at four and it was just gone one. Jen had been at Eloise's house since nine.

At first it was really nice. Eloise had cooked a big pancake breakfast for everyone. Jen had already eaten breakfast at home but she had a pancake anyway. Nick used his mother's recipe, so these were the same as the ones they got at home on a regular Saturday.

Kim, the eldest Buchanan sister and the last member of the bridal party, was keeping the mimosas flowing. She was also telling anyone who would listen—which was really just Jennifer—all about her new boyfriend in Sydney. Every explicit detail. Jen wanted to fling herself into the sun.

"You have no idea what it's like being with a man like that. Sexually, I've always preferred women. Men are fun and exciting, but only a woman really knows and understands a woman's body. But Chris is just…he's incredible," Kim gushed.

It took everything that Jen had to keep from telling Kim that her own brother was an absolute god in bed, but Jen thankfully had a better sense of decorum than her sister-in-law. Jen was an only child, but she was rather sure that no sister wants to hear about her brother's cock.

Each member of the bridal party was treated to a manicure and professional hair styling and makeup from the beauty team that Eloise had hired. Jen wasn't the most overly feminine of women, being a cop, but she did enjoy the pampering. And it let her escape from Kim for a while.

Danielle was getting her nails done as Jen had her hair styled and the two got to have a quiet moment together. Jen knew that Danielle was Nick's favorite of his sisters, though he loved them all, and Danielle was certainly Jen's favorite of her in-laws.

"Mum is spending an absolute fortune on this. Hope's always been a bit extravagant, and now Mum's just catering to it all," Danielle complained quietly.

"Well Duncan's paying for most of it, isn't he? He's always been quite flash," Jen replied, knowing of her friend's own flair for the extravagant himself.

"Yeah, but Mum is getting her mother of the bride fix, too. I mean, you and Nick got married without telling anyone and then handled your anniversary wedding thing on your own. And then Sam and I eloped in Tasmania last year. This is the first proper wedding Mum's gotten to be a part of," Danielle pointed out.

Jen nodded. "I guess that's true. I didn't want my mother anywhere near my wedding, the first one or the celebratory one. But Nick said I had to invite her."

Danielle gave a small laugh at that. "Yeah, he's like that. But you had Bernice, too."

"We didn't really become close till I was pregnant, and Nick and I were already married two years at that point. But yeah, at the big wedding, she was everything for me."

At that point, the manicurist moved Danielle along. She stood up and smiled conspiratorially at Jen. "I'm just glad Sam and I avoided all this."

Jen laughed but was then scolded by the hairdresser for moving around too much.

As the day wore on, Hope was in better and better spirits. She and Kim were getting a bit drunk, which was probably the cause of her good mood. Eloise and Danielle were extremely busy. And Jen wandered around, trying to help and not ruin her wet nails. She was beyond happy when Bernice finally arrived.

"Alright, one daughter has been delivered to her mummy. And I've been invited back to be with the boys, so I'll leave you all to it," Commander Waverly announced.

Ella came rushing in. "Gram!" she called out.

Eloise immediately stopped what she was doing and hurried over to see her granddaughter. "Hello there, sweetpea! Come help your Gram in the kitchen, and then we can get you all dolled up to match your mother."

Jen just stood by as her daughter completely ignored her and went off to the kitchen. "Well, I suppose that's a nice preview of her teenaged years," she grumbled.

Bernice had lingered for just a moment to say hello to Jennifer. "Oh you know how children are with their grandmothers. Eloise is probably going to fill her with sweets. How's everything going for you?"

"Kim and Hope are just this side of sloshed. Danielle is doing everything and thanking the lord that she never bothered with a proper wedding. And I'm just waiting for the time to pass so we can get going. My nails are wet and I'm under strict instruction to wait until they're dry before I do anything. And no one is allowed to put on their dresses until two-thirty when we go to the church to do all the photographs," Jen told her.

"Well, when I left the boys, I heard Matt shouting for someone to get the shots and Nick scolding him for being an idiot around Cody. Duncan told me I was welcome to join them, and I think Nick could use the reinforcement."

Jen sighed. "Yeah, I suppose that's probably where you should be. It's just not fair," she pouted.

Bernice laughed. "None of that now. Just pay attention to the sloppy sisters and watch over Ella. That'll keep you plenty busy." For good measure, Bernice gave Jen a small hug and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you later at the ceremony, love."

While the bridal party was in chaos, the groomsmen were having a party of their own. Nick had cleaned the house after Bernice picked up the children and took his suit and everything over to Duncan's posh flat. A flat that he'd be selling after the honeymoon so that he and Hope could move into a proper house. She'd told him she wanted the white picket fence sort of life, and Dunny was happy to agree. At his age, he knew it was time to settle down. Besides, he'd never really been one for the party scene anyway. He was glad for Hope to give it up, too.

"How's the bridegroom? Cold feet? Your fiancée is quite a tough pill to swallow," Nick teased as he entered the flat.

Duncan was all smiles. "I only let you say stuff like that because she's your sister and I know you love her." He patted Nick on the back and ushered him inside. "But seriously, mate, I can't tell you how ready I am for today. I've been waiting three years for this."

"Three years?"

"I met Hope at your wedding. The five-year anniversary one. And it was like a lightning bolt, I swear. Like I didn't know there was a hole till she filled it."

Nick smiled. "I know the feeling." And he did. He'd felt the same way when he'd met Jennifer. Of course, they'd met when they were undercover with SIS and they'd had to do a job. Getting to pretend they were married was a bonus. But deep down, even though they were working and focused on the task at hand, he was immediately blown over by the perfect force of nature that was Jennifer Mapplethorpe. And apparently Duncan Freeman found that in Hope Buchanan.

"Anyway, I'm afraid I don't have much for us to do till three when we get the limo to the church. I wanted to play poker or something, but I don't fancy losing money on my wedding day. We've got some photos to do there before the ceremony, but till then, we can just watch the footie. When's Cody coming over?" Duncan asked.

Another thing to make Nick smile. Duncan and Hope had been sure to include the twins in the ceremony. Ella was the Flower Girl and Cody was the Ring Bearer. But Nick, as Best Man, was going to be in charge of the rings until the moment Cody had to take them down the aisle. They weren't going to trust a six-year-old with too much responsibility. But Duncan adored Cody and Ella both, though Cody was absolutely obsessed with his Uncle Dunny. Nick could not have been more pleased to have his two favorite guys get along so well. He told Duncan, "Bernice is bringing him over a little later. Jen had to go to my mum's house early, and we thought the day would go smoother without the kids underfoot too much."

"Alright, fair. Sam and Matt should be here soon, too," Dunny replied.

Sam, Danielle's husband, arrived nearly right when Duncan finished speaking. Nick had been appalled, at first, when Danielle called and told him she'd gone on holiday to Tasmania with her boyfriend and they decided to get married. Right there. Without telling anyone. Though, to be fair, he and Jen had gotten married in secret without telling anyone, too. But luckily, Danielle had extremely good taste and she'd married a really great guy. Sam Riker was a veterinarian in Melbourne and enjoyed sport and drink, and he was devoted to Danielle. Nick had gotten along with him instantly. And he'd even ingratiated himself with the family so much over the last year that Duncan had asked him to be a groomsman. The three couples—Nick and Jen, Sam and Danielle, Duncan and Hope—went out together about once a month when police work didn't keep them away and the children could stay with their grandmother or with Auntie Bernice.

"Where's the party?" Sam asked with a bright smile on his handsome face.

"We were gonna watch the footie till it's time to get dressed and go," Nick replied.

"Oh thank god!" Sam replied with a laugh. "We've got a whole day to get through, I thought I was gonna have to fake drinking to keep Duncan happy."

Bernice arrived with the children shortly thereafter. Ella gave her uncles hugs and greeted her father before she had to leave. Cody immediately hurled himself at Duncan, and the pair of them were off in their own little world.

That was when Matt arrived with a bottle of whiskey, calling for shot glasses. Nick could have killed him. Hopefully Bernice would come back and rescue him. She was the only person Matt Ryan was really afraid of, now that he'd been promoted to Superintendent of the Arson squad. She was the only one of their family friends who outranked him.

Nick looked around at all the men in his life and smiled. He loved them, but Christ, this was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

There had been a mad dash to the church, all the girls in one limo and all the boys in another. Upon looking at everyone, Jen figured that Kim and Matty were about the same level of sloshed. Thankfully, the bridesmaids and groomsmen were paired off to walk down the aisle, so neither of them would have to brave walking in a line on their own.

The photographer took dozens of pictures of everyone. Bridal party, groom's party, bride with the children, groom with the children. Hope had insisted that Nick and Jen and the twins get a few of the four of them. Nick moaned a bit about having formal photos wearing this stupid color, but Jen knew he'd be pleased to have another set of family pictures all dressed up. The last ones were from their own wedding when Cody and Ella were two and a half.

Hope had thankfully sobered up since her mother had forbidden her to drink anymore—a rule that Kimberly had surreptitiously broken many times over—and was waiting in the bridal room in a quiet panic.

"Alright, someone who's married come tell me everything's going to be okay!" she cried.

Danielle came rushing over to her sister. "None of that, now. You know it'll crease your makeup."

That ended the worried expression on her face, but Jen could still see the stress in Hope's eyes. She came over to try and offer some words of comfort. "Hope, I've known Duncan for over ten years now. And with the job we did for all those years, I'll tell you that I really, truly know him. And you've been my sister for a while, too. I know you pretty well, right?"

Hope nodded.

Jen continued, "So because I know you both so well, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you two are perfect for each other. And Nick thinks so, too. He wouldn't let you marry just anyone. And he adores Duncan."

That seemed to do the trick. Hope could be a bit of a princess sometimes, but she respected one opinion beyond all others, and it was that of her big brother. Nick was her hero, even if she did take the mickey out of him. Nick's approval was the most important thing to Hope, and the whole family knew it. If Nick liked the idea of her marrying Duncan Freeman, it had to be a good idea.

There was a slight tug on Jen's dress. She turned away from a much more relaxed Hope to see Ella staring up at her with concern. "Mummy, I need the loo," she said.

And with that, Jen went from supportive sister-in-law bridesmaid to mother without batting an eye. She took her daughter's hand and led her out to the bathrooms. Thankfully, this was the Buchanans' family church, and Jen had been there many times when she accompanied Nick and his mother to Christmas and Easter services over the years. They'd only brought the children to Easter once to appease Eloise, since they weren't raising them with any religion. But Cody had very loudly asked what that man was doing up on the big T and isn't that a weird place to sleep? Eloise never again asked for her grandchildren to come to church. They stayed with Auntie Bernice after that.

But Hope was a relatively regular Catholic, all things considered. Duncan hadn't been raised with anything, so he didn't care where they got married. The priest was happy to accommodate them, despite his sideways looks at Miss Buchanan's fiancé.

Outside the bathroom, Jen ran into her husband. "Hello there," she greeted with a smile.

"Cody's in the loo," he explained. "Promised me he could take care of it himself."

There was only one toilet in the little old church, so there was often a queue for it. "Ella's got to go too," Jen explained. "Funny, maybe they're twins or something," she teased.

Nick smiled. He bent down to speak to his daughter. "How's it going, bug?" he asked her. "You all ready to throw your flower petals?"

"Yes, Daddy. Aunt Danielle has my basket," she told him.

"Good girl. And you remember that all the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down and then Cody brings the rings, and you're the last person before the bride, right?"

Ella nodded. She'd been practicing for this for a week. She knew it was a big responsibility. Nick and Jen knew that their children barely remembered the last wedding, when the two of them had held hands and walked down the aisle to their dad and then sat with Auntie Bernice during the ceremony. So this was a big moment for both Ella and Cody.

The toilet flushed and a minute later, Cody came out. "Did you wash your hands?" Jen asked sharply.

Their son looked sheepish and went back into the bathroom. Nick rolled his eyes in exasperation and went in with him, making sure he did it right and hopefully keeping him from splashing all over his little suit. They both came back out a minute later. "All yours, ladies," he said to his wife and daughter.

Nick and Cody returned to the room where the groomsmen were all waiting before the ceremony. Duncan was all smiles. He and Sam were taking the piss with a slightly more sober Matt. Poor Matt was a bit confused, but Nick didn't feel too sorry for him. It was his own fault for getting drunk so early in the day. But then again, Matt worked really hard and wasn't apt to go out with his mates the way they'd all done in the past. Simon was long gone. Duncan went home to Hope. Nick and Jen both went home to their children. Nick vaguely wondered if maybe Hope had any nice single girlfriends that Matt could meet. He needed to find someone.

But before long, the priest came by to start the proceedings. Everyone had to gather together and line up to walk down the aisle. The music started and Kimberly was escorted by Sam. Thank god he was able to keep her upright and relatively serious. Next came Jen with Matt, and then Nick with Danielle. Duncan came after and took his place up front. Then came Cody with the little pillow with the rings. Nick was quietly praying that his son hadn't done anything to them in the five minutes since he handed them over. Luckily, he presented the pillow onto the altar and took his place to stand behind the groom and next to his father. The children would sit down once the mass started, but Hope wanted everyone up at the altar for photographs during the beginning of the ceremony. Ella came next, tossing pink rose petals everywhere. She looked so lovely and sweet. Nick's heart was near bursting to watch his little girl. Ella gave a dazzling smile to each of her parents before standing beside her Auntie Danielle. The priest then raised his arms and the wedding march played. The whole congregation stood and watched Hope walk down the aisle.

It was incredible for Nick to see his baby sister looking so grown up and beautiful. Part of him still always thought of her as seven years old, prim and prissy. She was a wonderful girl, was Hope. And Nick was so proud of her. She annoyed him to death sometimes, but he loved her. And now she was a beautiful bride, walking down to marry Nick's best friend. It was something out of a dream.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Duncan and Hope in holy matrimony," the priest began.

The back doors of the church suddenly slammed open, jolting the priest out of his opening remarks. Everyone in the room turned to see what was going on. A man in jeans and a big black jacket wearing a ski mask came striding down the aisle, stomping with his workman's boots. "Nice day for it, eh Freeman?" the man shouted.

Before anyone could make any sense of anything or question what was going on, the man pulled an automatic rifle out of his jacket and opened fire.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Nick saw the gun, he dove. He didn't know what was happening, didn't know what was going on, didn't know what he was doing. But he had the instinct of a cop and a husband and a father. Bullets were flying and people were screaming all around him. Nick could barely hear any of it. The blood was thundering in his ears as adrenaline took over. He grabbed onto Cody and hurled both their bodies across the altar.

Jen was screaming Nick's name. She was on the ground, covering Ella, who was crying and screaming in fear. Jen saw Nick and Cody huddled nearby, but there was too much chaos to know what was happening. Nick's arm was flung forward and Jen, without thinking, reached out and grabbed his hand. She squeezed it as hard as she could. He didn't squeeze back.

The gunfire stopped, but the screaming hadn't. Women and men both were crying from terror. Bernice Waverly, ever the leader in any dramatic situation, began shouting.

"Kingston! Go!" Bernice barked, sending their professional runner detective after the shooter. She grabbed Terry Jarvis's hand and used it to help her get up and stand on the pew. She continued to give orders. "Levitt, get the ambos here now! Everyone, if you are uninjured, please sit down and don't get in the way! If you have first aid training, start helping those in need!" She turned to the man holding her hand. "Terry, get me some uniformed officers so we can start initial interviews.

Terry helped her down again and took his mobile out of his pocket but first leaned in close to Bernice. "You alright?"

She just shook her head. "We'll deal with it later. We need to make sure everyone's alive." Bernice gave Terry's hand one more comforting squeeze before letting go. She hurried up to the altar, where everyone was still huddled on the floor. There were blood stains all over the place.

The first thing anyone saw was Hope. She had Duncan in her arms and across her lap and she was crying her eyes out. Sam, a veterinarian by trade, was doing his best to dress the wounds and keep the bleeding to a minimum before the ambos arrived. He didn't look up as he informed Bernice, "He's breathing, but barely. Shot in the arm and stomach."

Nearby, Danielle and Kimberly, both rather shaky and tear-stained, were pulling the altar cloth over to the priest. From experience, Bernice know that the bits splattered nearby were the man's brains. One dead. At least.

Matt Ryan was unharmed and he'd run over to help Rhys and Allie coordinate the crowd control. But the only members of the wedding party who weren't otherwise engaged were the Buchanan family.

Cody and Ella were both bawling. Ella was curled up on the floor and Cody was nearby, clutching his arm. Bernice wanted to scoop those precious children into her embrace, but there would be time enough for that later. What concerned her for now were Nick and Jen. Jen's face was contorted in agony as silent tears streamed down her face. She held her husband's hand. He wasn't moving.

"Nick," she begged, her voice hoarse. "Nick, please!"

Bernice crouched down beside them and saw that Nick had been shot three times in the back. It would be a miracle if all three bullets had missed his most vital organs. But in a desperate attempt at hope, Bernice felt at Nick's neck for a pulse. "He's alive," she told Jen, shocked to be able to say so. "Weak pulse, but it's there."

The merciful blare of sirens filled the air and ambos with stretchers and medical bags burst into the church. Terry was shouting, directing them where to go. "Up at the altar! We've got gunshot victims still alive!"

At that point, Bernice had to pull Jennifer away from Nick. "Let them do their work, sweetheart," she said gently. "Come on, we've got to see to the kids. Let the ambos take Nick and Duncan."

Jen's eyes widened in fear. "Duncan?" She had been so single-minded over Nick that she hadn't even looked three feet away from her where Hope now sat crying, her white wedding gown smeared with blood.

"He was hit, too. Still alive," Bernice said.

Thank god for that. But Jennifer had other priorities, now that she knew her friend was alive and being looked after. There was nothing she could do for Dunny or for Nick. Not now. And she could not afford the panic and helplessness to overpower her. She turned instead to her children.

That had been the first thing Jen had done. She saw a gun and she leapt forward to where Ella stood between Danielle and Hope. She took her daughter in her arms and tackled her to the ground and shielded Ella with her own body. It wasn't till the shooting had stopped that she even looked up. Nick was there, and she took his hand. Cody was shaking, she could see, so she called to him. Her boy was sobbing uncontrollably, but he was safe. She had instructed Ella, also crying, to sit with Cody. And she had been begging Nick to be alive when Bernice had found them.

Now, though, she needed to see to her children. They were safe, and that was all that mattered. The trauma from this experience would scar them all, to be sure, but her babies were just so little still! They were only six, and they'd survived a mad gunman who shot their father. Oh god, please let Nick live! Her mind was scattered and weak and afraid, and she could not do a single thing for it. _Focus, Jennifer!_ she shouted to herself.

"Ella, sweetie, take deep breaths for me, please," she soothed, coming to put an arm around her daughter. "Cody, come here, come sit with me, please."

Cody scooted over, still cradling his arm in his little suit. The jacket was a bit torn.

"Does your arm hurt?" Jen asked, worried over how bad it was. Cody nodded, unable to speak through his tears. "Can you let me see it, please?"

With one arm still around Ella, Jen tried to take Cody's arm, but he screeched in pain. Odds were, it was broken.

Bernice had heard Cody yell out, and she knew that sound. She had been a mother of an athletic little boy. She knew the sound of an injured child. Immediately, she sent a stray ambo to see to Cody.

Terry came over and pulled her off to the side. "They're all being seen to now, Bernice," he told her softly. "Now onto you. You okay?"

"I'm not injured," she assured him. "And you?"

"Not a scratch."

She exhaled in relief. There was still so much to worry about but knowing that Terry was alright was at least one worry she could set aside. Bernice put a soft hand on his cheek. "Good."

He took her hand in his and gently kissed her palm. "Good," he agreed.

But there was no time for that now. "Come on, we've got a job to do. We have at least one homicide here, so let's get the team together."

"Bernice!"

She turned to see Jennifer carrying Ella—who was still crying, but was at least no longer hyperventilating—and following a uniformed emergency worker who was carrying Cody. "What's happened?" Bernice asked sharply.

"Cody's broken his arm. When…when Nick tackled him to the ground, I think. We're all going to the hospital," Jen told her. It was pure agony to even mention Nick. Her husband had been rushed off immediately, as his wounds were so severe. He might already be dead and she didn't know.

"I'll meet you there as soon as I can," Bernice told her. "I want to get the investigation organized first and then we'll come see you. Message me with updates."

Jen just nodded and carried her child away. Bernice watched them go, noticing how the Buchanan boys had both been injured but the girls had been unscathed. But Bernice knew from dire personal experience that if the worst should befall Nick or Cody, both Jennifer and Ella would be broken beyond repair. Bernice longed to be able to take those girls she loved so well and hold them and promise that everything would be alright even as they all cried together. But such comfort and catharsis was a luxury she could not afford now.

"Terry, get Detective Smith here to supervise the witness statements. Send Detective Taylor to the morgue with the priest. The rest of the team to the briefing room at headquarters. We have to get some preliminary things settled before I can do a press statement and then go see to the Buchanans."

Jarvis nodded curtly. "You got it, boss."


	6. Chapter 6

There was something about standing at the head of the briefing room that gave Bernice Waverly a strange sense of calm. There was chaos all around. Two of her best people had been shot, and her best friend was at the hospital with her children waiting to hear the news. It was the more stressful days of her life. She'd had worse. Much worse. But this day was not that day. This day would be different. It had to be.

"If I could get everyone's attention, please," she began, speaking sharply over the din of a crowded room murmuring with concern.

"Oi! Shut it, you lot!" Jarvis shouted. Silence immediately fell.

"Thank you, Terry," Bernice muttered, trying not to be annoyed. "Right, so as it stands right now, we have one homicide victim. Father Daniel Lewisham of St. Catherine's Church. Detective Duncan Freeman and Sergeant Nick Buchanan are at hospital now. We won't know anything for a while. I'd normally send a uniform over there for updates, but as it is, I'll be going over myself to be with the family. Now, given the circumstances, mostly the fact that half this room is a witness to the shooting, we're going to have to be cautious not to get too ahead of ourselves and not to make it too personal. Freeman and Buchanan are our colleagues and our friends, but right now they are not our victims. Father Lewisham is our victim. For now, we treat this as a single homicide. Now then, since the Homicide Sergeant is unavailable, Superintendent Jarvis will be heading up the investigation."

With that, Bernice stepped aside and Terry took center stage. "Right then. Updates. Kingston?"

"I ran after the shooter but he had a car waiting. I got a partial plate. We're waiting for the system to give us hits on possible matches," Allie said.

Terry nodded. "Levitt?"

"I coordinated ambulances and started on witness statements. Mainly mine. Suspect is male, about a hundred and eighty centimeters. Medium build. Wearing heavy black work boots, denim trousers, black knit jumper and leather jacket, and of course the black ski mask. Weapon used was an automatic assault rifle. We'll need to confirm with other witnesses, but my count was twelve shots fired," Rhys recited.

"Three in Nick, two in Duncan, I think two in the priest. Get crime scene in there to find the rest," Bernice told Terry quietly.

"Sorry we're late, ma'am."

Two new individuals—the only non-uniforms who weren't actually present at the wedding—arrived in the briefing room. Bernice greeted them both with a nod. "Detective Smith, Detective Taylor. What have you got for us?"

Oliver Taylor, still in his first year at Homicide, stepped forward. His dark eyes and dark beard and wavy hair gave him a casual, slightly dangerous appearance. His dour expression and soft voice did not make him seem any friendlier. Terry complained that he was a bit of a stick in the mud, but Bernice was glad to transfer him off Armed Robbery. Homicide could use someone who was a bit more subdued. Taylor told the room, "I went over the initial pathology examination at the morgue. Father Lewisham was shot twice. Once in the shoulder and once in the head. The bullet to his head took off a big chunk of his skull and brains on its way out. The shot to his shoulder was also a through and through, but it wouldn't have done too much damage if it had been the only wound."

Next, Detective Karin Smith, throwing her long blonde hair—which was always tied back in a loose but elegant plait—over her shoulder, spoke in a much sweeter tone than Taylor could have ever managed. "I spoke with Detective Freeman's sister, Grace Barlow, and Sergeant Buchanan's mother, Eloise. Both of them were in the front row of the church and saw everything happen. Ms. Barlow is a lawyer and very smart. She was a bit calmer than the other witnesses who could barely put two words together. Though I think she's probably in shock, seeing her brother just get shot. But she was able to recall that the shooter addressed Detective Freeman by name, he called him 'Freeman' before he fired. The uniforms are handling the wedding guests and I've got some canvassing to see if anyone saw the shooter go in or saw the driver of the car."

"Wonderful, thank you Smith," Bernice replied. "Keep me informed." Karin Smith was another good addition to the team. Once Jen had left Homicide, there was a woeful lack of empathy left on that team. Rhys and Duncan and Allie were all fine detectives but handling vulnerable victims—traumatized woman, children, the elderly—was not any of their forte. Bernice had been pleased to approve Smith's transfer from Vice. She'd been used a lot going undercover in illegal brothels, given that she looked more like a swimsuit model than anything else. She was quick and level-headed, and she'd spent a very successful three years on Homicide so far.

The whole time the two detectives spoke, Allie Kingston's facial expression changed in a subtle yet powerful manner. When Oliver spoke, she gazed at him with a softness that everyone was quite unfamiliar with from her. She listened patiently whenever he spoke, not interrupting and going off half-cocked like she did with nearly anyone else. She would ask his opinion oftentimes, something that was rare before Oliver Taylor joined the squad.

Everything changed, however, when Karin spoke. Allie's eyes hardened and her lips were pressed into a tight line of fury. It was no secret to anyone that Allie absolutely hated Karin. It had been an interesting adjustment for the other members of her team. Rhys had first thought that it was female jealousy, that another young woman—younger than Allie, even—was on the crew and she was softer, sweeter, and more feminine than Allie could ever dream of being. When Allie and Karin walked into a room, all eyes went to Karin first. But the way Allie spoke of Karin when she wasn't around wasn't with jealousy but with nearly cruel derision. Allie had absolutely no respect for Karin; she didn't take the blonde seriously for a second. Allie's complaints were becoming a problem for Jarvis until an incident where a suspect ran from the team and both Allie and Karin pursued. Allie was faster and caught the guy, but it was Karin who tackled him to the ground and had him in a headlock and screaming for mercy within seconds. That was the day that everyone learned that behind the sweet demeanor and doe-like expression, Karin Smith had absolutely no fear. Rhys had praised her as 'a total badass.' Allie hadn't spoken to him for a week after that. But the experience had solidified Karin as a valuable member of the team, even if the rabid dog of the group still didn't like her.

Terry spoke to his team, giving out assignments. They needed to find the car and driver. They needed to find out if the shooter was someone who knew Duncan or if it was someone hired by someone who wanted revenge on Duncan. How had the wedding been found? A cop knows better than to make an announcement in the newspaper, so perhaps the shooter knew one of the wedding guests and found out that way. They needed to do research into Duncan's past as well as entertain the possibility that someone else in the bridal party or even the priest had an enemy who paid a call.

Before the meeting could be officially brought to an end, one more person entered the room. "How can I help?" Matt Ryan asked.

Matt's suit was disheveled and his hair was mussed and his whole body radiated panic. Because he'd been at the altar with the wedding party, he was taken to the hospital to ensure he wasn't injured. Apparently he'd been cleared.

Bernice was immediately of two minds. Ryan was heading up Arson now. He had his own cases and his own department to be concerned with. But then again, there may have been good use for him. "Alright, I'll do the paperwork for a secondment. Your sergeant can manage for you till this is through. I know wild horses couldn't keep you away," she finally said.

"Thank you, ma'am," Matt replied with a nod.

"Alright, Superintendent Ryan is going to work with Detective Taylor on Freeman's past cases. See if anyone's gotten out of prison or was left on the streets who would want Freeman dead. Ryan's got personal knowledge of most of the old cases since he was on the squad back then. Taylor's got fresh eyes to be objective in the review," Jarvis said. "Everyone know what they're doing?"

There was a general murmur of assent.

"Right-o, kiddies, let's get to it!" And with that, the team was dismissed.

The detectives all filed out to return to their desks and get started with their work. Terry and Bernice were left alone in the briefing room.

"You better get to that hospital before you lose your mind, Bernice," Terry told her.

"I know. I need to be there. I know all Nick's sisters are there and I'm sure his mother went straight there after Smith interviewed her, but I've got the feeling that Jen might need me," Bernice said.

Terry nodded. "You know she always needs you. And those kids need you, too. Ella's probably clammed up something awful, knowing her. And Cody's broken arm is gonna have him in hysterics till the painkillers kick in and he can get excited about picking a color for the cast."

Bernice smiled at that. Terry was marvelous with the Buchanan children. One weekend a month, Ella and Cody stayed with Auntie Bernice. And depending on what else was going on, that often meant staying at Uncle Terry's house. Bernice wasn't living there fulltime; she still had her house with Rhys and Charlie the dog, but she did stay at Terry's about half the time. And the children loved him. He was such fun with them, always playing games and telling stories and making them laugh. All of that, of course, just made Bernice love him even more.

Terry added, "When he's got the cast on, you should draw a picture on it for him. A cartoon or something for him. He'd like that."

"He would," Bernice agreed. "But Nick's more the artist than I am."

Those words had come out of her mouth without even thinking. Both she and Terry looked at each other sharply as their hearts dropped to their stomachs. Nick was the artist of the family, but there was a very real chance that he'd never get to draw pictures for his son ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

Things had happened in such a whirlwind, Jen hardly knew which way was up. In the events since she the shooting, her memories were distorted and fragmented. She could feel more than she could actually recall. She knew she had been crying as her children were huddled beside her. She had begged Nick to wake up. But Bernice had told her he was alive and reminded her that Cody and Ella needed her. And her own tears had stopped then. She could be a panicked wife later, she needed to be a strong mother now.

The three of them were piled into another ambulance as the one with the gunshot victims had already sped away. Nick and Duncan were with the professionals keeping them alive and rushing them into emergency surgery. Jen and Cody and Ella were on their own. Ella sat in her mother's lap, shaking with adrenaline. Cody was with the emergency responder who was speaking to him gently and helping with his broken arm.

Upon arriving at the hospital, they were all taken to be examined. Ella was given a very mild sedative to help calm her down, but she was otherwise physically fine. Jen refused any medication but was given a similarly clean bill of health. Cody had to have his little arm set. He screamed in pain as the nurse cut the jacket and dress shirt off his arm. Jen held him on her lap and kissed his hair and whispered to him, promising it was going to be alright and the doctors would help him. A nurse came by to give him a shot of painkillers, which helped significantly.

Outside the exam room came a shrieking that Jen would recognize anywhere. "WHERE IS HE!? YOU TELL ME RIGHT BLOODY NOW!"

Without any other warning, the door to the room banged open. There stood Hope Buchanan. Her lovely face was red with emotion and her perfect white wedding gown was smeared with blood from when she had been holding Duncan's injured body to her. Upon seeing Jen and the children, she had relaxed infinitesimally. "Jen?"

"Duncan's in surgery, Hope," Jen told her, relaying what she had been told in the ambulance. "Him and Nick."

Hope's eyes went wide with terror. "Nick?"

Jen realized that the bride had been too preoccupied over her groom to notice that her own brother had been shot just a few feet away from her. Jen similarly hadn't noticed Duncan until Bernice had told her.

Eloise came by to try and collect her distraught daughter and saw Jen. "Oh thank goodness you're all okay!" She pushed past the protesting nurse to sit down beside her granddaughter. "Ella, sweetie, are you alright?"

Ella was very groggy, and she just nodded numbly.

Jen explained, "She's been sedated to help cope with the trauma. I've seen it in children before. And Cody here's broken his arm. But we'll get him patched up just fine, eh?"

Eloise scooped up Ella and kissed her long blonde hair. Hope, meanwhile, was still standing in the open doorway, ignoring everything else. She was staring right at Jennifer. "Jen? What's happened to Nick?" Hope asked. Her voice was shaking. The rage of a frightened animal lashing out was gone from her. Everything deflated and she had tears welling up in her eyes.

Obviously Jen wasn't going to explain anything in graphic terms in front of the children. She asked the doctor to hold on a moment and put Cody down. "Stay with Gram, alright? I'll be back soon."

Cody started to make protesting noises, but Jen and Eloise both were able to reassure him. Jen hurried out into the hallway with Hope, closing the door behind them.

"Nick was shot three times in the back. He dove in front of us and tackled Cody to the ground to keep him safe. That's why Cody's got a broken arm. Nick still had a pulse when the ambos took him away. He and Duncan both were rushed into surgery. A nurse told me when we got here."

Hope collapsed against Jen's shoulder, crying again. "How are you so calm?" she asked amidst her sobs.

Jen didn't have an answer to that. Jen wished she could say that they'd survived worse, but that wasn't exactly correct, was it? Nick had never been shot before. And even when Jen had been shot, it was just a graze to her arm, and she was fine again in a week. This was…this was very different.

But Jennifer Mapplethorpe had always been a woman to handle a crisis well. She had hunted down Dane Majors in the woods to save Nick's life, getting him talking enough to distract him and be able to shoot him dead. She was trained to run into buildings full of criminals in a raid. She could do the job that was required of her, no matter what. And right now, her job was to care for her children and reassure her distraught sister-in-law.

A minute later, Eloise came out holding both Cody and Ella's hands. Cody had his plastered arm in a sling and Ella's head was lolling to the side as though it was too heavy for her neck.

"Mummy, look at my cast!" Cody announced. Obviously the painkillers were working.

"It's green!" Jen replied, trying to force some enthusiasm for him. "How come you didn't get blue? I thought blue is your favorite color."

"It is, but Dad's favorite color is green, so I wanted to get something that he'll like for when he comes back."

Jennifer nearly vomited on the spot. Christ, what was she supposed to say to them? What sorts of painful questions would they ask that she could not answer? Ella was usually the much more intuitive and curious of the two of them, but she was so out of it for the moment. That was for the best on quite a few fronts. But Cody seemed to have the subtlety of a sledgehammer at times. Jen had often had the very dark feeling that he had inherited that from Jen's own mother. Luckily Cody had also inherited his father's kindness, or a little boy version of Susan Hayes would be a complete nightmare.

But then Danielle and Sam found the family and distracted from needing to tell Cody anything. Danielle and Eloise, as had been the case all during the wedding day, took care of Hope. Danielle extricated her little sister from her vice grip on Jen and led her away.

"Come on, Hope, let's go sit down. The doctors will give us an update. Do you want me to go home and get some clothes for you?" Danielle asked soothingly.

It was not until that moment that Jen realized that she too was still in her wedding clothes. She was wearing a bright fuchsia ruffled gown and Ella had hers on to match.

"No," Hope protested. "Duncan was supposed to take the dress off me."

Probably not the best thing to say in front of the children, but again, Jen was reminded of her own post-wedding plans. She had neon pink lingerie on under her dress that she was going to surprise Nick with when they got home tonight. Neither she nor Nick would be going home anytime soon.

But Hope still refused to change out of her blood-stained wedding dress. Like Jackie Kennedy on November 22, 1963, she would proudly bear the evidence of holding her dying love in her arms and not hide away from her loss. Only Duncan hadn't died. And Jen could not bring herself to add the obvious 'yet' to that sentiment.

Everyone took seats in the waiting area. Ella had fallen asleep in Jen's arms, and holding her daughter was the only thing that had kept Jen together up till now. Sam sat next to her, holding Cody, who had figured out the somber mood and kept himself quiet and pensive. Hope sat across from Jen. She had stopped crying and was resting her head on her mother's shoulder while holding her sister's hand beside her.

Eventually, Kim came to join them. She had changed out of her bridesmaid's dress and brought a change of clothes for Hope and Danielle. The sisters all made their way to the bathroom to change. Hope would need help getting out of her dress. Now that she had calmed down, she was like a docile ragdoll, going whatever way anyone led her. The panicked fight she'd had before had all been overtaken by the exhaustion of her emotions.

"Mummy, sing?" Cody murmured, breaking the quiet after Hope, Kim, and Danielle had left.

Normally Jennifer would not ever think of singing in a public place. It wasn't appropriate by any stretch. But for now, she could not care about the propriety of anything. Her son needed her. She'd do anything he asked in that moment.

Sam shifted where he sat to bring Cody closer to his mum. Jen rocked a sleeping Ella in her arms and began to softly sing one of the songs she would often use a bedtime when the twins were babies. A serene smile appeared on Cody's sweet face as he rested his head on Sam's chest and closed his eyes to listen.

Across from them Eloise began to cry, trying to muffle her own sobs in a handkerchief from her purse. Jen looked over to her to see if she was alright. She was as alright as she could be, with her son and near son-in-law hovering between life and death.

Jen just continued to sing softly.


	8. Chapter 8

Jennifer Mapplethorpe had always been quite proud of her body. She knew she kept trim and fit. She had curves where they were supposed to be. Her stomach had remained flat through most all of her life, even after giving birth to twins. And her breasts, which had always been perhaps a bit too small though not small enough to bother her, had gotten slightly larger and better proportioned after the babies. Jen knew she looked good and was very pleased with being small and slim.

Until now. Right now, she was sitting in a chair in a hospital room and felt completely dwarfed by what she was attempting. Ella was resting on one of Jen's legs with her head on her mum's shoulder and Jen kept one arm around her. She was dozing, keeping her eyes closed, but Jen knew she wasn't asleep. Cody was trying to sit the same way on Jen's other leg, but his cast kept getting in the way of him snuggling up to her too much. And both Ella and Cody were just a bit too big for this now, their legs getting tangled up uncomfortably as they both tried to sit on their mother's lap. And all Jen wanted to do was hold them both in her arms like she'd done every day of their lives. But it wasn't quite working. Jen felt far too small to support and protect them like she needed to. Particularly now. Because now, she was all by herself with her children.

And that was how Bernice found them. She blustered into the deathly quiet room and immediately stopped, staring at the distraught little family. Jen nearly started crying again to see her friend looking so worried.

But Bernice did not say a single word. She just walked right over to Jen and the children and wrapped her arms around all three of them. Bernice had such a warm, motherly presence about her. She was soft and strong and brilliant, all of which made her incredible at her job and the most valuable friend Jennifer could ever imagine. Bernice pressed a kiss on each of their foreheads in turn before pulling back.

"Ella, Cody, let's go out for a little while, okay?" she offered gently.

Both children were very somber and did not protest the suggestion. Ella grumbled sleepily. She still had not spoken a single word since she's been screaming and crying on the altar of the church. But Jen was not concerned that having her go with Bernice would worsen the issue. Ella slumped off of Jen's lap and shuffled over to hold Auntie Bernice's hand. Her eyelids were heavy, but at least she was awake now. Cody came over with slightly more energy and held Bernice's other hand with his uninjured one.

"I'm gonna take you home so you can change your clothes and we can get something to eat, and we'll bring something back for Mummy," Bernice stated. "And I saw your Auntie Kim in the hall. She has your mum's bag in her car, so we'll stop by there and get SamBun, alright Ella?"

Ella just nodded.

"Auntie Bernice, can we get ice cream?" Cody asked.

"If you eat all your vegetables at supper, we can get ice cream on the way back here," Bernice said. She then turned back to Jen. "I'll pack a bag for you, love. Comfortable, clean clothes. Toothbrush. Glasses. Anything else I should get?"

"No," Jen croaked, her voice heavy with emotion and disuse. "I can't think of anything."

Bernice nodded, understanding that she would know better than Jen right now what all she and the children would need. And with that, she took the twins out of the room with her.

Jen felt like her heart was being ripped in pieces. Part of her was bereft from the absence of her children. Holding them in her arms, however awkward and uncomfortable it was physically, was a balm on her soul. So long as she had them, she was alright. But she couldn't think straight with them here, worrying about how they were faring. Being alone, Jen could actually think about herself. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling able to do so for the first time in hours.

She stood up and stretched her arms and legs and back. That chair was not comfortable, though she would likely be sitting in it for a long time. She moved to stand at the end of a hospital bed, staring at Nick with about a million tubes coming out of him. The steady beep of the machines told her that his heart was still beating, but that was the only thing that gave any indication that he was alive. Everything about this situation felt so familiar and yet so horrifyingly foreign. And there was nothing Jennifer could do but stand there and watch her husband.

He'd come out of surgery a while ago—how long ago, Jen wasn't sure, as time had seemed to lose its meaning—and the doctors let the family come see him. Eloise had taken one look at her son and immediately turned and walked out. It was too much for her to see him that way. Her own husband, Charles, had died in this very hospital when Nick and his sisters were young. Charles had died of cancer, Jen knew, but he had probably looked very similar to how Nick did now. Jen did not begrudge Eloise's inability to face Nick lying in that bed. Jen herself could barely do it. She needed to be near him, and she needed to know he was still alive and to make sure their children could be near their father. The three of them had huddled in the chair at Nick's bedside ever since.

Danielle had come in to see them at one point, giving an update on Duncan. "Hope and Mum are there with him. Doctors said his surgery took longer because there was more to repair in his bowel from the bullets, but they're pretty confident he's going to be okay."

Jen nodded but did not say anything. The doctors had not been so optimistic when they'd spoken to her about Nick. Nick had been shot three times in the back. One of his lungs had been turned to swiss cheese. His liver and one of his kidneys had been damaged. One of the bullets grazed his spine and done some damage there, too. There was no way of knowing how long he would remain stable, and there was a high chance of infection and internal bleeding. And that was assuming his heart did not just give out from the trauma his body had been put through.

This wasn't like before. Before, after Dane Majors, Nick had been barely alive, but he'd been awake. He had been nearly starved and suffering severe dehydration. His internal organs then had been beaten and abused but at no point did Jen worry if he'd survive. She had sat by his bedside in a hospital across town and thanked whatever higher power that he was going to be alright. She'd nearly lost him in almost every way imaginable back then—their romantic relationship had been severed, their professional relationship was in jeopardy, their friendly relationship had been stumbling along, and Nick's very life had been in danger. But she'd gotten him back. She'd sworn that she would make things right between them. And she had. Within weeks of Nick in that hospital, his career had been salvaged, they'd saved Homicide, and Jen had fully and without reservation committed her whole heart to him. They were married less than a year later.

And now, eight years into their marriage, they were threatened once again. Nick did not look battered but sleeping peacefully. There was nothing peaceful about him now. His face, that kind, handsome face of his, was unmarred by injury. But his mouth was taped with tubes to keep him breathing. His big, strong, muscular arms were riddled with lines pumping him with intravenous medications and the like. And though his gorgeous chest was covered by a hospital gown, Jen knew that it was wrapped up with so many bandages that she probably couldn't have seen a single inch of his skin.

Seeing him like this, Jen could not reconcile this man with the one whose naked body she had stretched herself on top of countless times over the nearly two decades they'd known each other. She could hardly believe that it was only that very morning that they had stood together in the shower and shagged quick and hard and beautifully. Would she ever make love to her husband again? Would he ever stand? Would he even ever wake up?

Even as she pondered those horrifying questions, alarm bells went off on the machines. Jen was in shock and could not utter a single sound. Doctors and nurses raced into the room, forcing Jen to press her back against the wall to keep out of their way. A cart was wheeled in and paddles taken off and charged. People were shouting. And then there was silence.


	9. Chapter 9

Bright sunlight reflecting off clear blue water practically blinded him. It took himself a moment to orient to where he was, to what was happening. And then he saw and knew exactly where he was.

"Come on, Ella, you can do it!" Nick encouraged. He stood in the pool, a few feet away from the edge, holding his arms out for his daughter.

Ella stood frozen in place. Her little lip was quivering as she tried not to cry from fear.

Cody was already in the water, paddling around wearing his floaties. "Don't be a baby, Ella!" he taunted.

"That's enough!" Jen barked at her son. "Ella's allowed to feel however she feels."

That was sufficient to quiet Cody. He paddled away, pouting after his scolding.

Nick glanced over to his son to make sure he wasn't too sore. But he seemed fine. He recovered quick, did Cody. Nick looked back over to see Jen crouching down to speak to Ella at her eye level.

"Ell, what's worrying you, sweetheart?" Jennifer asked quietly.

"Mummy, I'm scared. What if Dad drops me?" she asked in a small voice.

"I can promise you that your dad would never drop you," Jen assured her. "He caught Cody, didn't he?"

"But I'm taller than Cody! What if Dad can't catch me?" Ella worried.

Jen chuckled slightly. "Dad can catch quite a bit bigger than Cody. Do you want to see?"

Ella just looked at her mother curiously.

With that, Jen stood up and turned to where Nick was watching them carefully. "Alright, Nick," she announced. "Catch me!"

Nick laughed, "Alright. Jump, Jen!"

With a delighted grin, Jen took a running jump into her husband's arms. He caught her without any problem at all and kissed her soundly.

"There, you see, Ella? If Dad can catch me, he can certainly catch you," Jen called out.

But the four-year-old was not quite convinced. She tended to be quite dubious. Ella Bernice Buchanan was a curious and wary child. She was at once patient and insistent. Ella never seemed to tire of asking questions and pushing—sometimes quite stubbornly—until she got an answer she was satisfied with. She had the tenacity of her mother, which Nick was always pleased to see. But she was quite like he was. Little Ella was the spitting imagine of her mother. She was blonde and beautiful and charming, but her bright blue eyes held a pensiveness that Jen always said was like Nick. He would proudly take the compliment. But Ella was so much her own person. Unlike both of her parents, Ella would never leap before looking. It was Cody who had gotten their impulsive nature. Ella was clever and even cunning sometimes. But her reticence ensured that she could get practically paralyzed like this before she had to take a step out of her comfort zone.

Eventually, however, Ella conceded. Apparently she had figured that if Cody could do it and Mum could do it, she certainly could as well. "Alright," she agreed nervously.

Nick let go of Jen so she could swim over to Cody and leave plenty of room for Ella.

"Jump, Ella!" Nick called to his little girl.

With the most adorable deep breath of determination, Ella leapt right into her father's waiting embrace. He hugged her tight and kissed her cheeks.

"I'm so proud of you for being brave. That wasn't so bad, eh?" he murmured into her ear.

"Thank you for catching me, Daddy," Ella replied, hugging him around his neck.

"I'll always catch you, bug," he promised.

Ella smiled up at him. "I know you will."

The happy memory of being in the pool with Ella and Cody and Jen faded from Nick's mind. His thoughts were immediately transported elsewhere. They were not outside anymore. They were at home. It was earlier than that memory. The sky was dark outside, the height of winter. And the babies were still babies.

Cody was on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth, as though about to crawl, but not actually going anywhere. Ella sat nearby, her little legs splayed out in front of her as she played with her blocks.

"Do you think it hurts his knees?" Jen asked. She was sitting on the sofa beside Nick. The children were on the rug in front of them. The coffee table had been moved out of the way so that Nick and Jen could do just this, relax on the sofa while watching telly and watching their babies.

Nick took his eyes away from the rugby highlights and glanced down at Cody. "Nah, he's fine. Babies are tough. And he's on the rug and he's got the fleece little onesie to help cushion his joints."

"I worry, though. He's been doing that a lot lately, rocking back and forth on his hands and knees. We've seen him crawl, but he doesn't seem to even want to do that. He just rocks. Do you think something's wrong?" Jen wondered with concern.

"No, he's fine. He might be about to learn to walk. They do that at about this age, right?" Nick's attention drifted back to the rugby. He was less concerned than his wife about the danger their children might have been in while sitting in plain view in front of them.

And then, as if his ears had been burning, Cody did something miraculous. Jen gasped and smacked Nick rather hard in the arm. "Look!"

Nick was just in time to see the way Cody pushed himself up to standing, all by himself. He was about two feet away from the sofa where Nick and Jen were sitting. And their son, without any further assistance, took three wobbly steps towards them. He swayed like a tree in a windstorm, but he did not fall. He ended up with his baby hands on Jen's knees, practically falling into her. He also made a baby noise that Nick and Jen both knew meant that he wanted to be held.

Jen, laughing with delight and nearly crying with pride, scooped him up into her arms. "You did, Cody!" she gushed. She kissed him till he was giggling and wiggling. "You took your first steps!" Jen turned to Nick, radiating joy. "What do you have to say to your son, the walker?"

"My son, the walker! I can't believe it! Well done, mate!" Nick said to Cody, bestowing kisses in a similar mix of laughing and crying.

All the while, Ella sat where she was. The excitement over her brother learning to walk did not seem to faze her one bit. She was far too focused on her blocks. She was even so focused on her blocks and whatever else she was up to that Ella did not take her own first steps for another six weeks. Apparently, walking was not something that concerned her too much.

It did concern her parents, however, as Jen then called the doctor to ask if Ella was delayed in her development for some reason. But Jen was told that children, even twins, all develop at different rates. Ella had better cognitive skills thus far than Cody. She was starting to speak in words, while Cody had not gotten there yet. And sure enough, by the time Cody knew four whole words—Mama, Dada, yes, and no—Ella had finally started walking. Cody had been zooming around the room for Nick and Jen to both follow like mad, leaving Ella slightly less supervised.

Their brilliant little daughter had clearly determine that enough was enough and she hauled herself off the ground and took her own first steps. Nick had nearly missed it. He had just been walking by when he saw it happen and shouted at Jen to watch. Jen had been a bit annoyed that they had not thought to record either child learning to walk, but it had all come on so suddenly. Nick had promised her that they'd never forget the first steps that the twins too, despite being so far apart. And Nick had learned he was right. Even now, he had not forgotten a single moment of those events.


	10. Chapter 10

_Beep…beep…beep_.

Everyone in the room sighed in relief. Nick's heart had been restarted. Jen felt like she might be sick from the stress of it all. But the machine indicated that he was alive. The doctors and nurses had all stopped shouting and rushing. Without their visible indication that they were out of the woods for the moment, Jen would not have been able to know that the emergency was over. There were so many people crowded around, Jen could not even see her husband lying in bed. But she saw the reactions. And she heard that beeping.

One by one, the doctors and nurses left the room. Jen vaguely heard one of them tell her that Nick was alright for now, but his heart might give out again. Only time would tell. But at last, Jen was alone with her husband again.

Cautiously, as though her sudden movements might shock him into heart failure again, Jen sat down in the uncomfortable chair beside Nick. She reached out to take his hand, but she stopped herself. Was she allowed to touch him? She wasn't quite sure. But she wanted to. She needed to. And so, with one shaky hand, Jen gently placed her fingertips on the back of his hand. When no more alarm bells went off, she picked up his hand and took it between both of his. She was careful to not jostle any of the IVs.

"Nick," she whispered.

He did not answer her. Obviously. He gave no indication that he heard her. Perhaps he hadn't. Or, if he had, he was simply unable to respond.

But Jen had things she knew she wanted to say. Things she needed him to hear. Even if he possibly couldn't. "I need you to get better, Nick. I need you back with me."

Jen's voice cracked. It was hoarse from crying and screaming. She actually had not cried in quite a while, all things considered. Briefly, she wondered if now would be a good time for it, while the children were out of the room. She wouldn't want to cry in front of them. Not till there was something to really cry about. But instead, Jen swallowed back that lump in her throat. She would save her tears for now.

"Please, Nick," she begged. She'd begged him to wake up when they were in the church, just after he'd been shot. She was begging him again. "You know we're not finished yet. You know we've got more to do. You and me, partners in everything, yeah? And you know we always said it was good we only had two kids so we aren't outnumbered. Oh you should have seen me today, Nick, trying to hold them both on my lap. They're too big for it now. And my lap's too small. They need you. We all need you. I can't be outnumbered, it's not fair."

She was starting to get a bit delirious. Not fair? Nothing about any of this was fair. It was not fair that Nick had been shot while diving to protect his children from a masked gunman. It was not fair that Duncan had been shot on his wedding day. It was not fair that Hope was missing her perfect reception party to be covered in blood in the waiting room of a hospital. It was not fair that Ella had been traumatized into muteness. It was not fair that Cody had broken his arm and gotten a green cast to show his dad who might not wake up. And it was certainly not fair that Jennifer Mapplethorpe, after so many years of not knowing what she wanted and not feeling like she deserved what she had, should be punished like this after finally claiming all the most wonderful things in life as her own.

Of course she was being ridiculous. She knew that. But now was perhaps the proper time to be ridiculous. Jen tried talking again, if only to stop herself from spiraling into her own thoughts. "Cody broke his arm. I know you're going to feel awful about it, but it's better than him getting shot." Those words left a bitter taste in her mouth. "And Ella's not talking. They're with Bernice now. She's so good with them. And she's going to get me something to change into. Hopefully you won't wake up and mock me for being in this stupid dress." At that, Jen remembered getting dressed that morning. A harsh chuckle fell from her lips. "I've got neon pink lace lingerie on under this stupid dress. I had a whole plan. I was going to take off the dress and come out of the bathroom in this, and I was going to get on my knees in front of you and do that thing you like with my tongue." Her face grew a little warm at the thought. "But we'll save that for another time, eh? Yeah. When you're feeling better and you can appreciate it."

"My wife doesn't do that with her tongue."

Jen looked up sharply to see Sam standing in the doorway.

"Sorry, couldn't help but overhear. Luckily, I'm not related to either of you by blood, so I can just say 'good on you' and leave it at that," he teased.

She smiled and chuckled slightly.

That made Sam smile back. "Good," he murmured, obviously pleased that he could make Jen have a moment of good feeling.

"What's the latest?" Jen asked. She was still holding Nick's hand. Now that she had it, she didn't want to let it go for anything.

"Danielle asked me to check on you. Where are the kids?"

"Bernice has them. They're going to have dinner and change their clothes, and she'll bring me back something," Jen said.

"Oh you don't want to stay in that dress all night?"

That made Jen smile again.

Sam sighed. "Danielle said she tried to get Hope to pick a different dress for you all, but she was pretty adamant."

"Well, that's Hope for you."

"I thought Duncan would put his foot down on the pink everywhere."

"You got that wrong," Jen said with a smirk. "On two counts. One, Duncan loves color and I've seen him very happily wear pink himself with pride. And two, he's probably physically incapable of saying no to something Hope wants."

"Think she's got him too far under her thumb?"

She shook her head. "Oh not like that. Dunny likes a strong-minded woman. And he likes having someone to pamper and take care of. He and Hope are perfect together."

"They really are," Sam agreed. "And by the way, he's awake now."

Jen nearly leapt out of her chair, but she knew better than to jostle Nick. "He is!?"

"Yeah. And he's asking about Nick. No one was sure what the latest update was, so I volunteered to check."

That brought Jen back to the sobering reality. "If you came by about ten minutes ago, you'd have seen his heart stop."

"What?!"

Jen had to swallow back that pesky lump in her throat again. "Yeah. He's okay for now. But the doctors said it could happen again. There's no way to know."

"Oh Christ, Jen, I'm so sorry. Here I am joking like an idiot about your sex life and Hope being a princess."

"It's okay, Sam. It helped," Jen replied softly. And it had helped. It helped to just talk about something light and normal and nice. Particularly to Sam. Danielle really had chosen the best possible husband. He looked like a superhero and he took care of cats and dogs for a living. And he was funny and kind and friendly and good with everyone. Jen was very pleased to have him as part of the family.

Sam frowned, a struggle evident on his face. "Is there anything I can do? I know that's probably a stupid question, but can I get you a coffee or something? Do you need a hug?"

"If you hug me, I'll probably burst into tears, and no one needs that right now. But I could definitely use a cup of tea if it's not too much trouble. With a splash of milk."

He nodded. "One tea with milk coming right up. I'll stop by and tell the family the update. I don't want to panic everyone, so maybe I'll just say it's still touch and go?"

"That's fine," Jen replied with a nod.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Sam turned and left, and Jen was alone with Nick again. She gently picked up his hand and brought it to her lips. "You were quiet, even for you," she said, somewhat appalled and amazed at her ability to have any sense of humor or sarcasm in the current moment. Maybe she really was delirious. Perhaps it was best if she stopped talking for the time being.

The only sound in the room after that was the steady _beep…beep…beep._


	11. Chapter 11

How it started, Nick could not quite recall. But he was a man possessed with his desire for his wife. Jen had gained a little bit of weight in her bum when she took on desk duty after the twins were born. And some days, it was more than he could take to see her walking through the house in those figure-hugging trousers of hers. Especially if she took off her suit jacket to show off her figure with her pretty pink blouses tucked in the way she did.

Well, whatever it was, he only knew he wanted her. She'd been home later than usual, leaving Nick to give dinner to the children and take care of bathtime. Jen arrived just in time to sing them to sleep, though she hadn't changed out of her work clothes. And seeing her walking around the house like that was driving him wild.

"Fancy a beer?" she'd offered.

"I fancy you," he replied with a smirk.

Jen laughed. She had a gorgeous laugh. Gorgeous everything. "Is that so?"

He pulled her into his arms quickly, not wasting any more time on talk. He kissed her hard and squeezed that gorgeous bum of hers while she moaned into his mouth.

But Jen pulled back. "We'll be too loud," she warned.

Nick hated it, but she was right. The mood he was in, the kind of sex he wanted right now, they would absolutely be too loud. The babies were asleep upstairs. Ella could sleep like the dead, but Cody could get a bit fussy, and he'd always wake her up in the process. The last thing they needed was for them to come wandering downstairs to see what was going on. Dismayed, Nick let go of Jen and took a step back.

"Hang on, I've got an idea," she said, a wicked grin on her lovely face.

Jen grabbed the baby monitor in one hand and Nick's hand in the other. She led him out to the garage and opened the backseat door of her car. Nick realized what she was doing when she unbuckled the booster seats and left them on the ground, and he thanked god above that he'd finally gotten around to clearing the old construction equipment out of the garage so they could park the car inside; this wouldn't have worked if the car was parked out front with his old ute.

The baby monitor was tossed on the floor beside them so they could hear if there was any crying or shuffling about by their children. They were nearly three at that point, but sometimes there were nightmares or other things to interrupt the nights.

But Nick was not too concerned about the children just then. He unbuttoned just enough of Jen's shirt to pull it over her head. His mouth covered her breast through her lacy bra. She did that sometimes, wore exciting undergarments when he least expected it. Today it was pale pink lace with black stitching. Her back arched as his wet tongue and the scratching lace worked her nipples to hard peaks.

She was gasping and moaning, and Nick needed more of her. They were both working on each other's trousers, though they had to break apart to maneuver their legs out of them. The cramped space of the backseat left them fumbling and laughing until they were finally able to find bare skin. After that, there was no stopping Nick.

He lifted her legs up and over his shoulders so he could go down on her. The taste of her never failed to get him rock-hard. The moans and high-pitched gasps of hers made him throb with want. Her hips jerked against his face when he made her come the first time, lapping her up with his eager tongue. She fell back onto the seat, boneless and exhausted.

In a space like this, Nick would have normally pulled her on top to ride him where he sat. But he could tell she was too tired for it. And he wanted more control this time. He felt unhinged. Wild. He wanted to set the pace. He wanted to pound into her and make her scream when her body clenched around his cock. He wanted to thrust hard and deep and come inside her.

And Nick did just that. And thank god they were in the car with the doors closed because Jen screamed out his name as he made bruises on her thighs from where he held them tight in his clenched fingers. Her nails were digging into his shoulders so hard, she may have drawn blood. He almost hoped she did just so he could have those marks to keep her etched on his skin. That thought coupled with the pulsing pleasure of her orgasm made him come hard.

"Oh fuck, Jen, I love you," he breathed, collapsing on top of her and burying his face in her hair.

Jen did not have the strength to form words at that. She just hummed and stroked his sweaty hair.

Nick's memory of that marvelous shag in the car and moved on to something a little more recent.

The babies were turning five. Not babies anymore. Children. Nick always thought of them as the babies. Still did. But they were turning five and they'd be starting school soon. Jen seemed happy for that. She helped them get excited about primary school and making friends with other children and learning things. Nick was less enthused about his babies growing up.

But one thing that would never, ever change was their birthday. Nick would make sure their birthday was celebrated just like this for as long as he could manage it. Because both he and Jen worked and their schedules were not so predictable, they did not want to wait to celebrate till the evening. They'd have a fun dinner, of course. They'd go to the zoo or a carnival or something at the weekend. But the actual day of Cody and Ella's birthday always started the same: cake for breakfast.

Now, they were twins, of course, so they shared quite a lot. But Nick somehow got it in his head that each of his children needed their own birthday cake. So that meant that every year on some cold winter night, Nick stayed up late baking and decorating two cakes to eat for breakfast the next morning.

For their fifth birthday, Nick was going to so something extra fun. Cody loved chocolate, so he'd be getting a chocolate cake. But his favorite color was blue, so Nick added blue dye to the frosting to give him a blue chocolate cake. Ella's favorite color was purple, and she liked vanilla cake. So he kept the frosting white but dyed the batter purple for her. Nick had a feeling that they'd be over the moon excited to see their cakes when they woke up.

Jennifer, god love her, was absolutely useless when it came to the baking. She was a good cook, and she and Nick both made meals equally for the family. But she could not bake. Nick loved to bake. And he took pride in his bakes. Every so often, however, she decided to take the piss while he was trying so earnestly to get everything just right.

"You're focusing rather intently on that batter, Buchanan," she teased.

"Not every day our children turn five."

"I think they're still young enough that they will barely remember this birthday versus the last," she pointed out.

Nick chuckled, knowing she was probably right. "But wouldn't it be fun if this was the one that always stood out to them? The year Cody got blue frosting and chocolate crumbs all over his face and Ella watched you cut into her white cake to see it purple inside?"

Jen hopped up to sit on the counter beside where Nick was greasing cake tins. "You're the sweetest man alive, you know that?"

He shrugged. "I just want them to have a good birthday."

"And they will," Jen assured him. "They've got the best dad in the world baking them cakes instead of making love to their mum."

Nick nearly gave himself whiplash turning his head toward her so quick. "Sorry?"

"You heard me. Get those in the oven and then take your trousers off," she instructed.

It struck him in that moment that his love for that woman might never reach its height; he loved her more and more every single day.

As quick as he could, Nick put the four cake tins—two Cody's chocolate cake and two for Ella's purple cake—in the oven. He set the timer and then pulled Jen off the counter so quick she yelped in surprise. But he muffled her noises with his kiss. Her hands were already undoing his trousers and reaching inside. He'd barely begun an erection, but her hand pumping him like that certainly helped.

"I want you, Nick," she begged against his lips. "I want you to fuck me right here in the kitchen."

And who was he to refuse his wife? Nick walked her forward till her back hit the fridge. Her hand was still wrapped around his cock, but he was very nearly hard by now. His hands were up her blouse, squeezing her breasts in the way that made her whimper with pleasure.

They made quick work of their clothes, only taking off what was necessary to do the deed. Nick lifted Jen's bare leg to hook over his hip as his fingers teased her to readiness. She was already wet, but he couldn't resist the way she hissed when two of his long fingers slipped inside her. "Oh god, Nick," she breathed.

His fingers were quickly replaced by his cock. He thrust inside her, deep but steady. And time seemed to stand still. It always happened that way, that nothing else in the universe ever mattered when Nick was buried to the hilt inside Jennifer. "Yes, Jen," he growled, moving slightly faster as he felt her flutter around him. "Come for me."

Jen's hand found its way to where their bodies were joined and she rubbed herself frantically so she could finish. A bone-deep sound escaped from the back of her throat, inspiring him to speed up to follow her over the edge.

_DING!_

"Shit, Jen," he grunted. The timer on the cakes went off and he had to get them out of the oven before they dried out.

But Jen would not let go of him. "Don't stop, Nick," she commanded. And he didn't. He thrust inside her till he came with a grunt of satisfaction. He slowed and stilled, resting his head against her shoulder.

The smell of burning interrupted his recovery. "Bloody cakes!"

When the children got out of bed the next morning and ran downstairs to see their birthday breakfast cakes, they were delighted beyond belief. They both ate the dried, slightly burned cakes and did not notice anything wrong. Though, as Jen reminded him, they were five, so what did they know?

A year and a half later, the memory of Jennifer laughing as he shoved his hands into oven mitts made him smile. She still teased him about the dangers of opening an oven without his pants. But there was nothing for it, was there? He'd do anything for his babies, to give them a happy birthday. And he'd do anything for his wife, no matter what. The very though of it made him beam with pride. At least he thought it did. Was he smiling? He was meant to be smiling. But in his current state, he could not quite tell.


	12. Chapter 12

Jen had her hands wrapped around a cold cup of tea from Sam when Bernice returned to the hospital room with the children. Ella immediately let go of Auntie Bernice's hand and bolted to her mother, climbing back up on her lap. Jen put the tea down and wrapped her daughter up in her arms and kissed her hair. Ella was wearing her favorite soft clothes, a matching set of pink cotton with purple and blue butterflies. She had SamBun clutched in her hands, and she buried her face in Jen's neck.

"Hello, sweet girl," Jen cooed gently. "Are you feeling any better? Did you eat?"

Ella nodded but did not say a word. Jen assumed the answer was yes to the second question but with no response to the first.

Bernice had a bag slung over her shoulder and Cody's good hand still holding hers. She let go of him to put the bag down and open it up. "We had macaroni with bacon and broccoli. Cody was very good eating all his broccoli."

"It matches my cast!" he announced, holding up his green plastered arm. He had also pushed up the sleeve of his soft clothes to reveal the cast. How Bernice got the shirt on him was a marvel and something Jen was not keen to experiment with over the next six weeks. But he was smiling and did not seem to be in any pain for the moment. And he was wearing his favorite black cotton set with blue sharks all over.

Jen gave a very watery smile at her son, trying to tamp down her emotions for the sake of the children. "Well done, sweet boy." She could hardly bear it, Ella mute in her lap and Cody, for the moment, blissfully unbothered by the trauma of the day.

"And Ella ate as much as she could, and that's okay. We all had a nice glass of milk and took baths and got all cozy, didn't we?" Bernice continued.

Ella nodded again, agreeing with Auntie Bernice's summary of the evening.

"Terry is going to come visit later and to give me the update, but I wanted to bring you some things," she said to Jen. "I've got a change of clothes for you in here and a sandwich wrapped up in there somewhere."

"Wonderful, thanks," Jen replied.

"Any news?"

Jen hesitated, not wanting to discuss the precarious nature of Nick's condition in front of the children. Not just yet. So instead, she gave the good news. "Duncan's awake. Sam came by about an hour ago to let me know, but I didn't want to leave Nick alone."

"Why don't you change your clothes here, and I'll bring the kids to see Duncan?" Bernice offered.

"Where's Uncle Dunny?" Cody asked excitedly.

While she was glad that Cody seemed to be alright, Jen was still worried about him. And about Ella. And being inundated with the whole family and seeing Duncan awake and all bandaged up in a hospital room when their father was still unconscious made her quite wary. But she really did need to change her clothes. And Bernice was more than trustworthy. And so Jen agreed. "Duncan's in Room 8631, according to Sam. After he got out of recovery from surgery, they put him in a longer term room. He didn't need intensive care like…" She trailed off. Duncan didn't need intensive care like Nick did. But those words did not want to leave her mouth.

Bernice nodded in understanding. "Ella, let's go see Uncle Duncan. I bet your Gram is there, too, and your other aunties."

Jen gently pushed Ella off her and stood up from the chair to retrieve the bag Bernice brought. She also gave Cody a hug and kissed his forehead before letting them all go. And once again, she was left alone in the room with Nick. Normally she would revel in such rare privacy with her husband. But this was quite a different case.

She found some sweatpants, a cozy knit jumper, and some more suitable underthings. Bernice had chosen just what was needed. She took the pile of clothes with her into the small adjoining bathroom, leaving the door open just a crack so she'd know if something happened with Nick. She got dressed quickly, trying not to think too much about the fact that Nick did not get to see the neon pink lingerie she still had on. But given the circumstances, she was glad to take it off.

Jen had just come back out all dressed and comfortable when a few nurses came into the room.

"Pardon, Mrs. Buchanan," one of them said. "We've got to take your husband to radiology for some more scans. It's only been a few hours, but given the tax on his heart, the doctor wants to be sure that there's no more internal damage that might need repairing."

"How long will that take?" Jen asked.

"About an hour."

Jen nodded. She put her things in the corner. She had that sandwich from Bernice that she really should eat, but Jen very much did not want to be in the empty room alone. She could eat it when Nick got back. She could talk softly to him again when they were on their own, and she could encourage the children to do the same.

She followed the nurses as they wheeled Nick and all his IVs and machines out of the room. They let her go as far as the Staff Only door. At that point, Jen silently told Nick she'd see him later and wished him luck with everything. He was so quiet and calm ever since they restarted his heart. It was almost hard to remember he was fighting for his life; he just looked like he was asleep.

Since there was nothing else for her to do, Jen figured she would take this time to go visit Duncan. It would be good to see him, have him hopefully in good spirits and teasing and joking like always. And it would be good to feel the warmth of the rest of the family with her. She was languishing all alone with Nick, though there was nowhere else she could allow herself to be. But since she had the opportunity for this small reprieve while Nick was being given scans and whatever else, Jen would take what she was given.

Duncan's room was on the eighth floor. It took an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to get to the elevators, but she eventually made her way. She was not paying attention when the nurse had first led her and the children up to intensive care to see Nick, so she did not know her way around.

The eighth floor was an altogether different feeling than the third floor where she'd been before. There were no alarm bells and no deathly silence interrupted only by steadily beeping machines. Here, there were visitors making noise, patients walking laps up and down the halls, nurses in good humor, children wandering around with adults clutching their hands, people carrying gifts of teddy bears and flowers. A much nicer place to be, to be sure.

Jen looked at the names and numbers on the doors to find Freeman in 8631. She got a bit turned around when a wheelchair was blocking her way. Somehow, she'd ended up over in the 8300s. The numbers were going up, though, so she figured she was on the right path. The names and numbers washed over her without much meaning. Until one.

Room 8397. Mapplethorpe.

And Jennifer's first thought was that if she passed out, at least she was in a hospital where she could be properly treated for shock.


	13. Chapter 13

Nick's mind went to the police station, for some odd reason. There was a sense of urgency around him. A need to hurry up and make things happen. Something was going on, only he didn't know what. And his memory went to his job.

Jen's first day back on the job after her maternity leave was extremely difficult for the whole family. Nick wanted to support her, of course, but he could not pretend that the thought of the mother of his children being back in their dangerous job was something he looked forward to. Jen did want to come back to work, he knew. But having to leave the babies with Nick's mum nearly destroyed her. They were only four months old and Jen had never been away from them for more than about three hours at a time.

But then Nick walked to his desk after interviewing a witness and saw Jennifer sitting there. And everything was alright again. They were together on the job just as they always were.

"And you were worried your suits wouldn't fit anymore," he said cheekily.

She pursed her lips, clearly trying not to swat him on the arm. "I have to sit hunched over because the blouse is too tight if I straighten up too quick."

"Wouldn't want a button to pop off and hit Rhys in the head."

For that comment, she did give him a playful smack.

"Briefing room," Wolfie announced, coming out of his office with Jarvis and walking past their desk.

Nick and Jen followed their colleagues and took their usual seats.

"Might we all now welcome back Detective Maplethorpe," Jarvis announced.

Jen sighed quietly. The Superintendent never could seem to get her name right. "Thank you, sir," she said pleasantly.

"She's on desk duty for the next six weeks, so the rest of you lot will have to pick up the slack."

"Six weeks?!" she protested.

Nick nearly had a heart attack at her tone. "Yes!" he blurted out insistently. Everyone stared at him, so he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sorry," he muttered.

Jarvis ignored him. "No one does background research like Maplethorpe, so use her well, kiddies." And with that, he left the room and let Wolfe get on with the briefing.

That first case with Jen back on the squad was a tough one. Three dead children in the house. Babysitter was out in the car making out with her boyfriend and didn't see anyone go in and parents didn't think the babysitter or the boyfriend were involved. Slightly too close to home for brand new parents Nick and Jen. When they picked up the twins from Nick's mother, Jen sat in the backseat of the car and had her hands on each of them the whole ride home, unable to take her eyes off them as Nick drove them home. She even slept in the rocking chair in their nursery. Nick tried to sleep along in their bed, but he ended up on the floor between their cots. Cody had started crying, and Jen got up to feed him, nearly tripping on Nick in the process. Neither of them spoke a word about why they'd both ended up close to their children that night.

In the end, it was Jen who solved the case. It took a few weeks and a lot of searching through CCTV footage and bank statements and telephone records, but she eventually figured it out. And she'd asked Sergeant Wolfe if she could be with one to interview the suspect.

Nick watched on the screen beside Wolfe as his wife calmly and deftly got the babysitter's ex-boyfriend to confess to the brutal murders of those poor children. Every step of the way, Jen did perfectly. Duncan was in there with her to assist, but he didn't end up doing anything. He just sat back and let Jen get on a roll, asking her questions, quickly changing subjects and speaking faster and faster to overwhelm the suspect into tripping up. And she got him. It was incredible.

Duncan took care of the arrest and escorted the suspect to processing with a uniformed constable. Jen stayed in the interview room, her hands on the table and her head hung down. Nick didn't like the looks of it where he was watching on the screen. He glanced at Wolfie, who gave a subtle nod. With that, Nick went to check on his wife.

"Jen? You alright?"

She lifted her head to look at him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Without another word, Nick pulled her up into his arms and let her cry into his chest as she clutched his shirt.

"Shh, what's the matter?" he asked soothingly.

"I can't do this anymore," she sobbed.

"You did brilliant, Jen," Nick reminded her.

She calmed her hitching breaths and looked up at him. "I know," she told him through a watery smile. "But I…I can't do it anymore."

And in a strange way, he understood. He knew she couldn't do it anymore. So much had changed for them both. And if Nick was honest, he knew he couldn't do it for much longer either. Their world was different now, and the job that had once been everything to them both was quickly losing its shine. There were more important things to be concerned with.

Nick's memory took him away from comforting Jennifer those six years ago to a different memory at the police station from about three weeks ago.

He was in his office, reviewing a report from Karin, when some movement outside the window caught his attention. He looked up and immediately smiled. He picked up his phone and dialed Jen's extension.

"Come downstairs," he told her before hanging up.

Nick left his office to greet his sister who was bringing his children over after they got out of school. Jen was working on project that required long hours, so Hope had picked up the children to bring them to the station so she could see her fiancé and Nick could take Ella and Cody home. And at the moment, Ella was sitting on Karin's lap while Duncan ran around the room with Cody on his shoulders.

"Did we get some petty criminals escaped from lockdown?" Nick asked teasingly.

Ella turned her head to grin at him. She looked as though she wanted to run to him, but Karin was busy plaiting her long blonde hair.

"Dad, can we get chips for dinner?" Cody asked.

Nick had to look up to see his son tower over him from atop Duncan's shoulders. "What do you want with your chips, mate?"

"No, just chips," Cody clarified.

"Yeah, Dad, just chips!" Duncan insisted with a mocking whine, making them all laugh.

Hope came over to Nick, and he leaned down so she could kiss his cheek like she always did. "That daughter of yours is crafty like her mum," Hope told him.

"Oh? What's my bug done now?"

"She asked me why I wanted her to wear a pink dress for the wedding, and when I told her I like pink, she asked me if it was because a wedding is the only time a girl can be a princess in real life."

Nick laughed heartily at that. "Well, she's not wrong."

Ella came over at that moment. "Dad, look! Karin gave me a fishtail!" She held out her fancy plait to show him.

"Detective Smith is a woman of many talents," Nick admired.

Allie, it did not escape his notice, scowled at that remark.

The doors to the lift opened, and Rhys and Oliver came to join them. "Hey, the kids are here!" Rhys greeted happily. Being Bernice's nephew, he spent a lot of time with Cody and Ella. They liked him, though not as much as they liked Duncan.

"Rhys, do you have any new Charlie pictures?" Cody asked. The wiggled, letting Duncan know he wanted to get down. As soon as Uncle Dunny put him on the ground, Cody rushed over to Rhys.

"Yeah, here he is playing with his ball," Rhys said, showing the photos off his iPhone. Charlie had been a stray puppy that Nick found when Jen was pregnant with the twins. Knowing they couldn't keep a dog, they'd found him the perfect home with Rhys.

The lift opened again, this time letting off Bernice and Jennifer, both of whom were smiling at the scene they walked in on. The women greeted Hope first, as she and Duncan were heading off to do some final wedding planning together. Before they could even say a word, however, Ella had come over and clung to Bernice.

"Auntie Bernice, can we come over this weekend?" she asked.

"I'll have to see what Uncle Terry's doing. And ask your mum. I'm sure she wants to spend time with you, too."

"But we see her every day," Ella pointed out.

Bernice laughed and kissed the top of her blonde head. "I see you almost every day, too."

"Yeah, but I like going to Uncle Terry's house," Ella said.

"What the bloody hell's going on in my Homicide department!?"

Speak of the devil, Terry Jarvis walked in to see all of his detectives and his sergeant standing around having a grand old time. Cody immediately lost interest in Rhys and ran over. "Uncle Terry!"

Terry scooped the boy up in his arms. "Cody, were you distracting my crew?" he asked with feigned seriousness.

"Dad's taking us home," Cody told him. "Mum has to work."

"Is that so?" Terry asked Jennifer, walking over to them all. "Does Mum have to work?"

Bernice answered on her behalf. "Yes, Mum has to work. Auntie Bernice needs her."

"Well Uncle Terry needs Auntie Bernice, too," he teased.

That comment earned him a stern look from Bernice. "Behave," she warned.

Nick could see this was all devolving very quickly. It always went this way when the children came by the station. In point of fact, Nick absolutely loved it. He loved that his friends were his family, and his family was so loved and welcome in the place he spent nearly all his time. Having his whole life integrated like this was a comforting thought.

But this was a place of work, and the detectives had casework to get on with. "Cody and Ella, say bye to Mum and then go wait in my office, alright?" he instructed.

The children did as they were told, each giving their mother a hug and a kiss and then going to fight over who could spin in Dad's chair until it was time to go.

Nick addressed his detectives. "Right, I'm off for today. Call if there's any development. Oliver, I want your report on my desk first thing tomorrow. Karin, I'm nearly through yours, and good work on that. Allie, before I go, anything more from the follow-up with the neighbors?"

"Nothing new yet, Sarge," she replied.

He nodded. "Keep on it." And with that, he could finally turn his attention to his wife. "I've got to get our wild hoard back to basecamp."

"Wild hoard, are they?" Jen laughed.

"They take after their mum," he replied softly, giving her a quick kiss. "I'll see you later."

"See you," she said, kissing him one more time.

Nick turned to go get the children, but his memory did not let him get that far. They were slipping away. Everything was slipping away. Nick was slipping away.


	14. Chapter 14

Jen stared at the name on the little plaque by the door. Her name. It was like something from a surreal dream, seeing Mapplethorpe printed there on a hospital plaque. Her mind felt like static, like white noise all jumbled together. She could not follow one thought to another. She did not know what she was feeling…she was feeling numb. She did not know what she was thinking or what she was supposed to do or what she wanted to do or what on earth was happening. The whole world seemed to freeze as she stared at the name on the plaque. And Jen knew it was not a common name. And she knew it was not her own hospital room. And, as far as she knew, there was only one other person living in Melbourne who could be inside. She did not want to see him. Or maybe she did. Was she supposed to? Would it help her to see him? Would he recognize her? Would it be better if he didn't? Or would that only serve to break her heart even further? What could she possibly say to him? Was there anything to say?

Before Jennifer could make any sort of decision on the matter, before she knew what was happening, some otherworldly force compelled her in the most unbelievable way. And she walked in the room.

This room was different than Nick's. It was a different ward, so it would be. It was bright and spacious but extremely bland. There were no cards or flowers or balloons or decorations of any kind. The surfaces were blank. The walls were blank. The only thing of note in the room was a great heap of machines beside the bed.

There was a man in that bed hooked up to a ventilator and all sorts of IVs. He was tall and heavy, filling up the whole bed somehow. He looked robust, to her eyes. That was not how she remembered him. In her memory, he had been tall and strong and full of good humor and a casual attitude that had been the reason he'd abandoned her. No matter what Jennifer's mother always said, Jen knew that there had been no malicious purpose to his leaving them. He just didn't want to be there. So he left. Even at six years old, Jen recognized that about him.

Behind the ventilator taped in his mouth, Jen could see that he had a scraggly-looking white beard. That was new. He had been clean-shaven when she knew him. The hair on his head was a pale blond, lighter than before, due to his age. His eyes were closed, of course, but even though the rest of him was old and aged and different, Jen remembered his eyes. They were just like hers.

"Hello."

Jen jumped, not having noticed that there was another man in the room, sitting in the corner with a book. "Hello," she responded, not knowing what else to say.

"Can I help you with something?"

She felt adrenaline coursing through her in the strangest way. She was a seasoned cop. She had been shot, she had chased criminals, she had conducted raids, she had run through the forest to rescue Nick, she had given birth to twins, she had nearly drowned in a swimming pool after being caught by a serial killer, and just this afternoon, she had lived through a horrific shooting that nearly killed her husband. And yet for some insane reason, this moment felt like the most unexpectedly terrible experience of her life. That man in her father's hospital room was staring at her. He was asking questions. Questions she couldn't answer. Or rather, did not want to answer. Not now and perhaps not ever. But she needed to say something. Do something. Somehow. "I was walking by and saw the name on the door, and it surprised me," she told him. And that was the truth. But the barest part of it. The real truth was so much bigger and so much worse.

"He's been in here a long time," the man said.

Jen forced herself to calm her panic and actually take stock of the man speaking to her. He had dark hair and a pale complexion. He remained sitting, despite Jennifer standing there awkwardly. And the book he was reading looked to be one of those American legal thrillers that she had never had any interest in.

But Jen had to remind herself to speak again. Her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and her heart pounded in manner that, if she was hooked up to a heart monitor, would have set off alarm bells.

"I knew him a long time ago," she managed to say. "Carl Mapplethorpe." Saying his name out loud for the first time in however many years felt wrong, somehow. It left a bad taste in her mouth. Carl Mapplethorpe. The father who had been so kind and wonderful and yet so disinterested and absent. "I'd know him anywhere, I think," she realized. And that was the truth. Jen had not seen her father since the day he left, a week after her sixth birthday. But here he was, lying in a hospital bed just down the hall from Duncan. And she still recognized him.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you he's in a coma. Not expected to wake up," the young man told her somewhat flippantly. "I'm Jonathan, by the way." He stood from his chair and reached out to her.

Jen went over to shake his hand, impressed with her ability to keep herself from shaking like a leaf. "Jennifer," she replied, purposefully omitting her last name, just as Jonathan had done. That was curious. That he had not told her his name. But Jen was not sure she wanted to know. If this man, Jonathan, was sitting in this room with a book and knew that Carl Mapplethorpe was in a coma, he surely knew much more. And that was what Jen chose to focus on for now. "How did the coma happen, if you don't mind my asking?"

Jonathan's face soured. "I dunno how you knew him, but he was always on drink or drugs or something," he told her with disdain. "And it all caught up to him. He overdosed on heroin, actually, and was found by the phone trying to call an ambulance. He was brought here. That was about a month ago."

The ambulance brought him here. Which meant that this was the closest hospital. This was only a few miles from where Nick had grown up. Where his mother still lived. Jen's family spent a lot of time in this neighborhood. What had Carl Mapplethorpe been doing here? Did he live here? Was he really just a few blocks away from Jennifer all this time? But Jen was rather certain she did not want to know the answer to that. Instead, she asked, "He's been in a coma for a whole month?"

"Yeah. They've got it in file that he filled out some form to insist on life support," Jonathan scoffed, clearly displeased by that fact. "So I come by once a week and sit here for a couple hours. It doesn't do any good to either of us, and he doesn't deserve my time, but he's still my dad, you know?"

Jennifer felt as though she'd gotten the wind knocked out of her. That was the answer to the question she had not wanted to ask. The answer she did not want to hear. Jonathan was Carl Mapplethorpe's son. She did not know why her own thoughts insisted on his full name. Carl Mapplethorpe. Perhaps because just Carl would have been too casual. Jen never really knew him well enough to be on a first-name basis. And 'dad' was not a moniker of which he was worthy. Good men get to be called 'dad.' Nick was the kind of man who deserved the title. Carl Mapplethorpe may have been Jennifer's father, but that was all he would ever be known by. And perhaps Jonathan had suffered a similar fate. He was obviously more a part of Carl Mapplethorpe's life than Jennifer ever was, since Jonathan knew that Carl Mapplethorpe was on and off drugs and drink—which Jen had suspected but never actually knew—and had been informed that Carl Mapplethorpe had overdosed and been brought to the hospital and kept on life support for a month now. _But he's still my dad, you know?_ Those words would haunt her, she knew. The casual nature of them. The gravity of truth they conveyed. "Yes," she replied softly. "I know."

It was in that moment that Jen realized that Jonathan's eyes were just like hers. Just like her dad. Their dad.


	15. Chapter 15

It was probably be painkillers, but despite being shot twice earlier that day, Duncan Freeman felt wonderful. Hope, beautiful shining light of his life that she was, stood beside him and refused to take her hands off him. She had been right by his side and holding his hand when he'd woken up. Since then, her palms had brushed over his shoulder, her hand rested on his arm, her fingers laced up with his own. And Duncan was happy to let her. He never wanted to let her go, knowing how terrifyingly close they'd come to losing each other.

Around the room were all the other very welcome visitors to his hospital room. Grace, his sister, sat nearby and chatted happily with Eloise, his future mother-in-law, and Kimberly, his future sister-in-law. Sam and Danielle, future in-laws as well, were sitting on the other side of him, each with one of the kids on their lap. And Commander Waverley stood between them. Nearly everyone he loved in the whole world was right here. Nearly.

And then, one of the conspicuous missing members of the family walked in. Sergeant Jennifer Mapplethorpe—Jen Buchanan, as they all properly knew her now—finally made her appearance. There was a haunted look in her face that turned his blood to ice. But she immediately smiled upon seeing him. "Hey there, Dunny!" she greeted. The cheeriness in her voice was very forced. Duncan knew her well enough to recognize it. She was tough, was Jennifer, but after almost a full decade working on the same squad and then however many more years being integrated as part of each other's families, Duncan was well aware that she felt deeper than most. She was strong and reliable, but she loved and lost with a ferocious power that few others had been privileged to see.

But Jen came over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Duncan gave her a small hug, careful to avoid his surgical stitches, and whispered, "Nick?" He was desperate for news of his friend and terrified of what new Jen might give him.

She replied, "Getting scans."

He was still alive then. For the time being, Duncan knew that was all they could ask for.

Beside him, Hope started on her nagging again. "Duncan, stop changing the subject," she insisted.

"Not this again," he grumbled.

"No," she snapped. "Today was our wedding day. We missed our big day. I didn't get to kiss you on the altar of my church and we didn't get to dance to that Ed Sheeran song and my perfect dress is ruined from getting drenched in your blood!" Her volume increased with each word.

"Hope, come on." He tried in vain to calm her down, but he immediately realized that his placating tone was the wrong choice.

"Duncan, today is our wedding day! We're supposed to be married!" she shrieked.

At that point, Eloise stepped in as only a mother can. "Sweetheart, Duncan is going to be in here for a while. You can't get married till he's well again. Be patient," she said kindly.

But Hope would have none of that. "I don't want to be patient! I waited enough! Everyone is here, we can get married now! I bet they've got a priest or something they can call to marry us right here, right now."

"Do you really want to get married in your sweats?" Grace teased. Duncan was more glad than he could express that his sister found Hope as delightful as he did. Hope could be quite a lot—too much, sometimes. But both Grace and Duncan had experienced childhoods of loneliness and isolation and prejudice, being orphaned black children in Queensland, and it would take more than a princess like Hope to make them blink. It was sheer luck that Duncan and Grace had found each other again as adults. And it was even luckier that they'd grown up to share the same sense of humor.

"I don't care!" Hope pouted, not giving her usual deference to Grace's jokes. "I just want to get married! Duncan, I want to marry you now!"

He was about to tell her yes. After all, it was his usual reaction to Hope. She was demanding a lot of the time, but it was always over things that were not just for her but for everyone involved, and he enjoyed that she knew exactly what was best. And he loved nothing more than to give her what she wanted and to make her happy.

But then Duncan looked around the room to see everyone he loved looking back at him expectantly. All except one person, who did not look at him at all. Duncan saw pain of a sort he could not quite comprehend on Jen's face. And so he turned back to Hope and said quietly, "Let's just wait till Nick wakes up."

Hope looked as though he had slapped her across the face. Her lower lip trembled and tears welled up in her eyes. She seemed frozen in shock, not bothering to even wipe away those tears when they fell. And Duncan suddenly understood that Hope had forgotten about Nick. Her big brother was her hero. And he was Duncan's best friend in the whole world. He was as much a part of this wedding as anyone else. But in all the drama and chaos of the day, all the worrying over Duncan and the trauma of the interrupted wedding ceremony, Hope had momentarily lost track of the fact that her brother was still unconscious after getting shot and having life-saving surgery of his own.

Duncan took Hope's hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's okay, babe," he said. He looked at Hope and nowhere else. Especially not at Jen. "Just give it a little more time. We're gonna get married soon."

"You promise?" she whispered through a hitched breath.

"Nothing will stop me from marrying you," he swore.

Hope nodded and used her free hand to wipe her tears away before leaning down and kissing him. God he loved the way she kissed him. Like touching a star, an electric jolt of magic every time her lips pressed against his.

The silence in the room was interrupted by Jennifer addressing her children. "Cody, Ella, let's go back to Dad's room, please."

Ella, who had not uttered a single word since Duncan had seen her this evening, slid off her Aunt Danielle's lap and came over to take her mother's hand. Cody was a bit more awkward getting off of Sam, since his green cast was in the way. He used his free hand to take his mother's.

Before they left, Bernice said, "Jen, I'll come by in the morning. I've got to go check back in at the station. And I know Terry wants me at his tonight."

Jen just nodded. She did not give any heed to anyone else in the room, something that was not like her. But Duncan did not take it as a slight. Nick was not out of the woods yet. Duncan had woken up a few hours earlier and felt great. For Jennifer, the nightmare was still not over.


	16. Chapter 16

It was well past the children's bedtime when Jen led them—conspicuously avoiding the hallway she'd gone through to get to Duncan's room—back to the intensive care unit. Nick had just been wheeled back in, it seemed. A nurse was putting all the machines and things back in place.

"How is he?" Jen asked.

"The scans didn't show anything of concern," was the only reply.

The nurse finished her work and left Jen and Nick and Ella and Cody all alone with only the hum of machines and beeping of the heart monitor to break the silence.

"Mum?"

Jen looked down at Cody, still holding her hand with his free one. "Yes, sweet boy?"

"Is Daddy going to wake up?"

She had dreaded this question from the moment this all happened. She knew her children would start asking questions. They were smart and curious, the both of them. But this question was the hardest she'd ever have to answer as a mother, she knew. Christ, she'd rather explain where babies come from right now than try to find a way to answer this question. But one thing Jennifer had always vowed from the moment she gave birth to her children was that she would not deceive them. She would not ignore or avoid their questions, and she would not obfuscate the answers. But there was a vulnerability required to be shown in this moment that she was not sure she could manage. She needed to be strong for Cody and Ella, and she did not know how to explain the situation without every single one of the feeble walls holding her together just crashing right down.

Jen looked over to Ella, still unspeaking, and to Cody. Both of them looked up at her with anticipation for what she would say.

"Daddy loves us so much. You know that, right?"

Both children nodded.

"He won't leave us unless he has to. And he'll fight hard to say. I know more than anything else that your dad would give anything in the world to keep all of us safe and happy. And he can't do that if he's not here. So he's doing his best to be able to wake up and be back with us." As she spoke, a lump formed in Jen's throat that threatened to destroy her, but she was able to finish what she had to say with only a slight crack to her voice. She swallowed hard and took some slow, deep breaths to calm herself down.

Thankfully, that answer seemed to satisfy the children. "Mummy, I'm tired," Cody whined.

"Do you want to go home to sleep? I can have one of your aunties take you home," Jen offered. "I've gotta stay here with Dad." That was the truth of it. She wasn't entirely sure if the hospital would let her stay, but she was fairly certain she could get Bernice to give a police order.

"I wanna stay with you," Cody insisted.

Jen would not refuse him. "And how about you, Ella? Do you want to stay?"

The little girl just nodded. Jen leaned down and kissed the top of her head. Bernice had obviously made sure Ella's hair was washed when she gave them baths after dinner; that bubblegum shampoo she loved was a rather pungent scent when she was freshly washed.

Jen moved her chair to be able to watch Nick. She'd already resigned herself to not sleeping. She did not want to sleep. But the children needed to sleep. "If you're careful, you can put your heads on the bed, but be really careful not to jostle Daddy, alright?" Jen warned.

Cody with his cast had a bit more trouble than Ella, but he managed to get himself situated, as did she. In the end, they were able to curl up on either side of Nick. Jen found an extra blanket in the cupboard and draped it over them. She turned out all but one light, in case the nurses needed to come in for something during the night, and they all got settled.

The memories in Nick's mind had all dissolved to blackness. No thoughts would come, and nothing seemed to exist within him. But then…he noticed something. There was pain, to be sure, but this was more than that. He could smell…bubblegum.

Nick would know that scent anywhere. He had hated it at first. It had a sugary sweetness to it that made his teeth clench. Jen had bought it on accident for Ella, not noticing the scent advertised on the shampoo bottle, but their daughter had absolutely adored it. Every time she got her hair washed over the last four months, she'd run all over the house excitedly telling everyone in the whole family that they had to smell her hair. That sugary sweet bubblegum smell now only made him smile.

For about two hours, Jen watched her children sleep curled up next to Nick on that hospital bed. They seemed peacefully sleeping. She was glad that Ella in particular was able to sleep. Jen was more worried than she really had time to be during the waking hours about how her daughter was going to cope with all of this. She had done her best to be gentle and patient with Ella for the time being, but if she was still not talking when morning came, Jen resigned herself to asking a doctor about it. Surely there was a child psychiatrist somewhere in this hospital.

But Jen tried not to concern herself about that now. She wanted to think of happy things. She wanted to watch Cody and not think of his broken arm but of the way he loved to run around the house barefoot and shouting out the football scores on game days while Nick flipped through the games on telly. She wanted to watch Ella and not think of her trauma but of the way she could sit for hours reading a book and snuggling with her SamBun. She wanted to watch Nick and not think of his injuries but of the quiet, soft, beautiful way he loved and cared for their family.

She watched Nick's face and let the tears fall down her cheeks once again after holding them back for so long. She silently begged for him to wake up. She needed him with her. She needed him to be alright. She needed to be able to grow old with this man who had changed her life from the moment they met. They had gone through every up and down and tragedy and triumph imaginable, all to end up with their children and their happy life, only to be here in this hospital like this. Such a thing was never in the realm of possibility. She and Nick had sought promotions to let them keep desk jobs so that they wouldn't have to worry about field work anymore. They'd both decided that five years ago, that they'd not put themselves at risk anymore, for the sake of each other and their babies. And as Jen watched her husband now, she could think only of that choice and how poorly it had served them now.

But as she watched him, she saw something. His lips twitched and he actually started to smile. Jen's eyes went wide as he blinked awake. His gaze found hers immediately and she let out a sharp gasp. His smile grew.

"Hi," he rasped out.

"Hi," she replied, giving a watery sort of laugh.

The children shifted at the noise. Ella woke first, likely because she had not actually been sleeping. She lifted her head and rubbed her bright blue eyes. "Daddy?" she mumbled.

"Hello, bug," Nick said to her, reaching out to touch her freshly washed blonde hair.


	17. Chapter 17

Ella immediately burst into tears. Weeping, wailing sobs. Nick tried to sit up and reach out to her, but he was immediately met with excruciating pain at the effort. Jen stood up and scooped their daughter into her arms and held her tight on her lap.

"Breathe, Ell," Jen instructed, speaking softly and soothingly, stroking her hair and letting her cry as much as she needed to. "Daddy's alright. We're all alright. It's okay, sweet girl."

Cody was awake by now and staring in horror at his sister. He was not easily fazed by things, was Cody, but when something upset him, he did not often cope very well.

"Mate, look at me," Nick said to his son. When Cody swiveled his head to look in his eyes, Nick asked, "You okay?"

The little boy nodded slowly.

"Tell me you're okay," Nick instructed. His voice was hoarse from disuse and his head was a bit foggy and he was in so much pain he might start weeping himself in a minute, but there were more important things to focus on.

"I'm okay, Dad," Cody replied.

"What's that on your arm?"

Cody held up his green cast. "My arm got broken at church. I picked the green one because you like green. Do you like it, Dad?"

Nick looked at Jen in slight horror. He only had a vague memory of what had happened at the church…when was that? What had happened since? How had Cody broken his arm?

Jen was still calming Ella but looked over her head and gave him a small nod. She also reached into the pocket of her hoodie to find her phone. She sent a quick text one-handed.

"I like the green, mate. That looks really cool," Nick said to Cody.

Cody smiled at that. "Thanks, Dad."

In almost the same instant, Sam walked into the room. "Everyone's awake, I see," he greeted with a grin.

Jen looked over to him with a grateful expression for coming to help out so quickly after she'd sent the message telling him Nick was awake and asking him to take the kids for a little while. "Ella, Cody, go with Uncle Sam to get some breakfast, okay?" she suggested.

"I've been looking in the cafeteria and I think they've got chocolate French toast. What do you say we try some of that?"

Ella wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and clambered off her mother's lap. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red, but with Sam holding her hand, she looked a little calmer than she had before. "Can I have whipped cream?" she asked him.

Jen gave an internal prayer of thanks to hear her daughter speaking again.

"Sure you can," Sam answered brightly.

Cody also joined Uncle Sam for the exciting breakfast, and Sam told Nick and Jen they'd be back later.

And Nick and Jen were left alone.

"What the bloody hell's happened?" Nick asked. "Ella's crying, Cody broke his arm?"

Jen herself felt like crying at that moment. "I'll tell you everything but first, I just…" She stood up and leaned over Nick in the hospital bed and put her arms around him as best she could and buried her face in his neck. He reached up, with great difficulty, and held her as best he could.

"I'm okay, Jen," he told her softly. "I'm okay, it's gonna be okay."

She lifted her head just enough to kiss him rather fervently, knowing that the feel of his lips was the only thing that could truly convince her of that fact. When she pulled away, she wiped away tears that had escaped her eyes and sighed in relief. "You almost weren't okay, Nick," she told him.

"What happened, Jen?" he asked again.

She pulled her uncomfortable chair up as close to him as she could and took his hand like she had the day before. But now he squeezed her hand right back. It was more comforting than anything else possibly could have been. "The wedding was yesterday afternoon. And we were all at the altar when a man came in with an assault rifle and started shooting. I was a few people away from Ella, so I ran over and grabbed her and held her down on the ground. You grabbed Cody and dove to get to us. Duncan covered Hope. And when it was all over, you and Duncan had been shot, and Cody landed funny on his arm."

"Duncan?" Nick asked in terror.

"Shot twice in the stomach. He's okay. Woke up last night. Talking and laughing like always. Your sister's a bit upset she didn't get married. She was running around in her wedding dress covered in his blood till Kim and Danielle could convince her to change clothes."

"Everyone else is alright?"

"Father Lewisham died. He was the only fatality. The family's all fine. Now that you're awake. In case you're interested, you were shot three times in the back. Surgeons repaired your lung, liver, kidney, and spine. And yesterday your heart stopped right in front of me and I had to watch them shock it back."

Nick squeezed her hand. "Jesus, Jen, I'm so sorry. I hate that I put you through that."

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat but to no avail. "It's okay. I'd go through whatever to make sure you're okay. And you're awake now. God, I can't tell you how much I needed you to be awake," she sobbed.

"Shh, it's okay, Jennifer, it's okay," he reminded her. He wished more than anything that he could cuddle her close to him, but if he'd been shot three times and had half his major organs repaired, there was no way his body would allow him to do that just yet. Christ, no wonder he was in pain.

Jen did not want to cry anymore; she'd done so much of that already. But at least this time, her tears were ones of relief and not of fear. She had Nick holding her hand and speaking softly to her, just as he had every time she was ever afraid or upset over the last decade. And that was enough.

"Is Ella okay?" Nick asked. "Cody broke an arm, but he seems okay otherwise. What happened to Ella?"

"The trauma, I think," Jen replied, lifting her head to speak to him again, grateful she could shift away from her own feelings for a little while. "She was sobbing hysterically like that at the church after the shooting, and then she didn't speak a single word till she said hello to you when you woke up. But I think she's talking again now."

"We'll need to find a therapist for them both," Nick mused. "Do you think Claudia would know anyone? Or how about Muriel?"

Jen nearly smiled at that. Such a typically Nick thing to do, jump to trying to find a plan of action, a way forward, anything to help his loved ones even while he himself had barely survived. "Once we're all back home, I can make some calls," she said in agreement, knowing that either their friend the police psychologist or the children's worker they knew would have recommendations.

Nick looked at his wife and felt his heart constrict with the way he ached for her whenever she was upset. This whole ordeal had been so much for everyone, he was sure, but knowing Jen, she had borne the brunt of it. After all, Jen was the strong one. She was strong for herself and for anyone who needed her. Nick had always been the only one who was ever strong for her. And he hadn't done a good job of it, lying in that hospital bed.

He wanted to ask her more questions. There was something in her eyes that told him that she had more to say. But for now, the silence was a blessed relief. Well, not quite complete silence. There was a hum of machines and that steady beeping that reminded them all that he was alive. And they would be okay.


	18. Chapter 18

Nick knew he was supposed to be grateful and appreciative and happy, but Christ it was too much. The doctors had run a whole battery of tests again and given him enough painkillers to put down a horse, it seemed. It left him a little groggy but at least not in pain. And it made him irritable. Well, he assumed it made him irritable. If anything else made him feel irritable now, he'd feel really guilty about it.

What kind of family man wishes everyone he loves would just go away? All Nick Buchanan had ever wanted all his life was to have a family to love and protect and cherish. And they were all here in this room with him. His wife and his two children and his mother and two of his sisters and his brother-in-law. All of them happy and laughing and here with him to show they cared. He could not possibly bring himself to be bothered by that, could he?

He could feel Jennifer watching him. She was surely seeing the way his eyes hardened with the tension he tried to conceal. He was coping extremely well, all things considered. But he was very close to losing it, and he very well might if she didn't do something about it soon.

"Where's Hope?" Jen asked Eloise.

"Spending some much needed time alone with her fiancé. You heard her yesterday, going on and on about not being married yet. I thought she'd be upset about missing the wedding, but it seems she cares less about the circus of it all than we all thought. She just wants to be married. Which, honestly, is quite sweet. As soon as the doctors give Duncan and Nick the go-ahead to be out of bed and at least in a wheelchair, they want to have the wedding," Eloise answered.

"In the hospital?" Nick asked incredulously.

His mother nodded. "You know your sister, Nicky. She'll get what she wants. And Duncan will find a way to make it happen for her. Those two are going to be husband and wife by the time he's discharged or else Hope will probably burn the place to the ground."

Nick could not help but chuckle at that. Though the fact that his mother was absolutely right about his tyrannical baby sister was the smallest bit disconcerting. "Well, we'll all be here whenever they're ready, I guess."

"Speaking of everyone all being here, Sam and I were thinking of heading out if that's alright," Danielle said, coming to stand beside her mother in front of Nick's bed. "We've been here a while and Sam can't take time off…"

"Of course you should go," Nick insisted. He was relieved Danielle had said something. Maybe if she left, the rest would follow suit.

"We'll be back tomorrow evening," Sam assured him. "Danielle has to check in at her office and I've got three cats to neuter tomorrow. And I just got a message from my office manager that apparently there's an emergency with a rabbit."

What that emergency might be, Nick did not want to know.

"Dad!"

"Yes, bug?" he said, turning to his daughter, pleased to be distracted from veterinary worries. But Ella was sitting in the corner with Kimmy, which was never a good sign.

"Can we go to Sydney next month to see Aunt Kimmy's art show?" Ella asked.

There was a smirk on Kimberly's face that Nick did not like one single bit. "What's her art show about?" he asked warily.

"It's called 'The Moose and the Feminine Nude,'" Kim explained.

"How about this, bug, when you get your driver's license, you can drive yourself to Sydney and see Aunt Kimmy's art shows as much as you want," Nick replied.

A small snort from Nick's left let him know that his wife agreed with the sentiment and that his phrasing had amused her.

"Well if my art isn't appreciated, you don't have to bother," Kimberly said. She wasn't at all annoyed by her family's lack of appreciation, which they all knew. Kim liked to do what was weird and unpopular and she reveled in the fact that no one understood her. She liked it best that way. With a wink to Nick showing there were no hard feelings, she stood up and stretched. Her crop top rode up to show off her piercings and tattoos. "I've got to be going, too," she said. "I changed my flight, but I need to pack and get back to Chris. Danielle'll video call me for the wedding, whenever it happens."

She kissed Ella and Cody's foreheads and gave quick hugs to the rest of her family and then she was off. Sam and Danielle agreed to give her a ride to the house for her bags and then to the airport to catch her flight.

When it was just Nick and Jen and the children left, Eloise Buchanan let out a huge sigh of relief. "Lord knows I love her, but I am shocked that Kimberly doesn't have at least two forms of hepatitis by now."

Nick and Jen burst out laughing at that. Cody asked, "What's hepatitis?"

Eloise answered her grandson, "It's a disease people get when they don't live a clean lifestyle. And your Aunt Kimmy has all those tattoos and does all sorts of filthy things with her artist friends and it's all great fun but she's nearly forty and those things will catch up, I'm sure."

"I want to get a tattoo!" Cody announced.

"They're very expensive, so you can get one when you can afford it," Jen informed him. She was very careful to never flat out say no to anything the children wanted, but she put reasonable limits on things, ensuring that they wouldn't try to be rebellious and reckless like she had been in her youth. Nick had never had his own rebellious phase; he'd been too busy taking care of the family to even think about acting out like that. He obviously did not want his kids to have the kind of burden that he'd carried all his life, but he did hope to instill in them a sense of responsibility and integrity that would guide them well through life and prevent them from doing anything before they understood the consequences.

"Why is everything expensive?" Cody grumbled.

"Because," Eloise told him, "money is the root of all joy and suffering, and that's why we're here."

Cody gave her a quizzical look. "Huh?"

"Oh I don't know, I haven't slept in almost forty-eight hours, sweetie."

"Eloise, do you think you can take the children to yours? I think everyone could do with a nap," Jen suggested. "My car is at the house, and I need to do a few errands."

"That's a very good idea, I think. We could all use a little rest, now that everyone's alright," Eloise agreed.

"Gram, can we have ice cream?" Ella asked sweetly.

But before Eloise could say anything, Jen interjected, "You had ice cream last night with Bernice. You know better than to play the grownups against each other."

Ella scowled at her plan being thwarted. But Eloise cheered her up by saying, "Let's all have a nap and then we can have some of Auntie Hope's cake. All the food from the wedding is at my house and Hope doesn't want to see any of it, so I say we have some."

The children, both quite excited at the prospect of eating wedding cake, kissed their parents goodbye for the time being. Nick was left alone with Jen.

"You leaving me too?" he asked.

She smiled softly, leaning over his bed to kiss him softly. "You could use some peace and quiet. I've got to see to some things. I'll take a cab to pick up my car, and then I need to change clothes."

"And then what?"

Jen kissed him again. "You just rest, Nick. I'll be back soon."

Nick did not like lack of answer she gave him, but his head was too foggy to really figure it out for now. And he did want the peace and quiet. Jen had done a good job of getting everyone to leave, which he appreciated. He wished he could leave, too, but he'd only been awake for half a day, and it was going to take time before he was even close to being discharged. But with rest would come healing, and that was really all he could do for the time being.


	19. Chapter 19

For all the adrenaline and anxiety that had filled her over the last two days, a strange calm fell over Jennifer Mapplethorpe when the elevators closed. She smiled. Here, she was Jennifer Mapplethorpe. Sergeant Jennifer Mapplethorpe. In her other life, at home and out in the world, she was Mrs. Jennifer Buchanan. But she'd spent all weekend as a wife and mother. Now, here, she was a police sergeant.

The elevator gave a comforting ding and the doors opened. She stood tall and walked with purpose. She wore her favorite pink blouse and gray suit. Her hair was pulled back and her shoes made a familiar sound on the corporate laminate floors of the police station. She walked to her old desk, now inhabited by someone else, and demanded the answers she was entitled to. "Detective Smith, where are we on the Father Lewisham killing?"

Karin looked up at her with slight fear. "Oh! We…"

Rhys came to her aid. "We're working on it, Jen. We've got Matt and Oliver reviewing Duncan's old cases. Allie is working on the vehicle. Karin and I are cross-referencing Duncan's case with recently released crims. So far, no matches for the description of the shooter," he explained. "How's Nick? How's Duncan?"

"Alive," Jen said simply. She was distracted, watching the way Allie's gaze drifted from her computer to Oliver Taylor, who was hunkered down over his desk with Matt Ryan. That was odd, certainly. "Matty!" she called to him.

Superintendent Ryan lifted his head to see his old friend standing there. "Jen!" he exclaimed. He stood and immediately went to give her a hug. Oh Nick would have loved that, to be sure, but Jen appreciated the nostalgic sense of normalcy. For a few years there, Matt's hugs had been the only thing to keep her going. When she had been new on Homicide and lost and missing Nick more than she'd ever admit, he was there for her. He was a good friend to her, and she was a good friend to him. It was thanks to Matt that she'd ever gotten to be friends with Duncan. And now, of course, Matt and Duncan were like brothers to her. If yesterday had gone as planned, Duncan would have been her brother. Now they were a bit delayed.

"Tell me we have leads, Matty," she begged.

"We're working on it, Jen. You know how this goes," he said softly. He pulled back and asked, as Rhys had, "How's Nick?"

"He's alive. Awake. So's Dunny. They're on the mend. And that's why I'm here," she told him.

"Maplethorpe!"

Jen scowled and turned, knowing what gruff voice was shouting her name, albeit mispronounced. "Superintendent Jarvis," she greeted stiffly.

"Unless there's a press release I don't know about, you're not supposed to be here," Terry scolded.

"I'm here to lend a hand. You're two detectives down," Jen reminded him.

"Ryan's seconded back to us."

She nodded. "So you're only one down, then."

Terry took Jen by the arm and led her away from the detectives and into the empty sergeant's office. Nick's office. He closed the door and pulled the blinds. "You're not supposed to be here, Jennifer," he said in a low tone.

Jen sighed, knowing he was right. But that didn't change anything. "Terry, you know I've gotta be here. And you know I'm good. I'm useful. I need to be a part of this!"

Jarvis regarded her curiously. Jen wondered what he saw. This man had known her practically since she started on Homicide. He'd been in Drugs back then, back with the trouble Duncan had with his last fiancée. And then they'd worked together again when Terry was on Armed Robbery. But Homicide was where he belonged, just like it was where Nick belonged. Having Terry as part of this team had been one of the best experiences of Jen's professional career. He'd understood the working relationship between Nick and herself, and he'd let them continue on together as Homicide detectives after he found out they were married. Jen twisted her wedding ring at the memory. She'd not worn a ring back then, but she did now. Everyone knew about her and Nick and their kids. Her children called him Uncle Terry. They stayed at his house with Auntie Bernice almost one weekend a month. This man had been a good boss to her, when she'd worked on his squad. And he was a good influence on her children. And she considered him a friend. But he was still a superintendent and she was only a sergeant, and if he refused her request after she pleaded her case, she would have to respect his decision.

But Jarvis did not say anything, he just kept looking at her. Perhaps waiting for her to crack. Jen gave him a little more information. "Nick's awake now. He and Duncan are going to be okay. Cody and Ella are with Nick's mum. And I need to be here."

"Jen, why'd you leave Homicide?" he asked her softly.

Damn him, this was the exact line of reasoning she'd hoped to avoid. "Because it's too dangerous," she admitted. "I left because I wanted to get promoted to a desk job as sergeant and I couldn't stay on Homicide if I didn't stay a detective. And I needed a desk job so I could have better hours to go home and be with my kids."

He nodded. "That's right. And those kids are everything to you. I know they are. And we all adore them. Hell, they're the only grandkids I'm ever going to get, it feels like."

Even Jen had to smile at that. "They love Uncle Terry."

"And I love them. And I love you and Nick. The whole lot of you. And if you tell anyone except Bernice I said that, I'll figure out a way to make you pay," he warned.

She gave a small chuckle. "You're secret's safe with me, Terry."

"Good. So do me a favor and stay the bloody hell away from this case. You're personally involved, and that would already disqualify you from working it. And add to that, you're not even on Homicide anymore!"

"I know, but…" she protested.

But he cut her off. "No buts about it! You want me to tell Bernice you've been down here asking questions? She'll keel haul you herself!"

"Yes, but…"

Terry pointed his finger in her face warningly. "What did I say?"

Jen swallowed hard, feeling a desperate hysteria overtake her. "Will you at least keep me updated?"

He softened, seeing the watery look in her eyes. "Christ," he muttered, knowing he was losing this fight. "Yeah, I will."

And as Jen started crying, Terry pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her soft, golden hair. "Shh, it's alright Jennifer. Everything's gonna be alright. We're gonna catch the bastard that did this to your family. You mark my words."

Terry looked over to the file cabinet behind Nick's desk to see the photo of Nick and Jen and their babies at the renewal of vows wedding they'd had three years ago. The Buchanan family was smiling and beautiful, all four of them. Terry had to look away. Their smiling faces put a knot in the pit of his stomach. He pressed a soft kiss to Jen's hair, repeating his vow to her and to himself.

They'd catch the bastard.


	20. Chapter 20

Bernice was looking for an update. She'd called Jen's mobile and got no answer. That was a bit disconcerting. She called the hospital and was transferred to Freeman's room. Bernice had actually spoken to Duncan Freeman who said that both he and Nick were awake and recovering, and the family was having a bit of a break. The children were with Nick's mum, and Bernice assumed they were all getting some much-needed rest.

But as pleased as she was with the personal side of things progressing well, she now needed an update on this homicide case. If Jen was resting, Bernice wanted to use this time to be able to get some information and go check on her and provide the update. She just needed to get it herself first.

Her first stop was to Terry's office. With all the stress of the last two days and being up and at work all night, she could use some information and a bit of a cuddle, too.

Strange how that was, now. Five years ago, Bernice had assumed she'd lost all opportunities for romance or even companionship in that way. She had her work and she had Rhys and she had her friends. But Terry Jarvis, it seemed, had quite a soft spot for her. Well, his heart was soft even if other parts of him weren't. He'd been teasing her their whole careers, but it turned flirtatious. And Bernice inexplicably enjoyed it. And so things had progressed. And progressed. And now they were officially an unofficial item together. They had an understanding and a sort of commitment between them, even if there wasn't really a label for it. They spent more nights together in his bed than not, though she had no intention of moving in with him. Terry accompanied her to all sorts of family functions. The two of them took care of Nick and Jen's children whenever they were given the opportunity. They were Auntie Bernice and Uncle Terry, and, as ridiculous as it might have once seemed, Bernice loved that man and the life they shared more than anything in the world.

But Terry wasn't in his office. Presumably, he was on the Homicide floor. She went down to see the squad.

She found Kingston, Taylor, Smith, Ryan, and Levitt all working hard at their desks. But no Terry in sight. "Is Superintendent Jarvis around?" she asked to no one in particular.

"In the office, ma'am," Kingston replied, pointing to the closed door of Sergeant Buchanan's office. Now what was Terry doing in there? The blinds were closed but the light was on.

Bernice gave one sharp knock and opened the door. She saw Jennifer and Terry spring apart, the both of them looking surprised and upset. "What's going on here?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

Terry gave her a tight smile. "Just having a bit of a cry," he explained softly.

Jennifer was wiping her eyes, grabbing a tissue from the box on Nick's desk. The holder was covered in colored pasta. An art project Cody made when he was in nursery school. His father had been so proud.

"What is it, Jen?" Bernice asked her friend gently.

"I can't just do nothing. You know I can't. _You_ know I can't."

And Bernice did know. She knew the ache of doing nothing when there was work to be done. She knew the absolute horror of being forced to sit out when family was involved with a case. She knew the helplessness and panic of not knowing what was going on and not being allowed to help. But her personal experience with such matters would not sway her now. Because Jennifer's situation was not like hers. And she had a responsibility to Jennifer, too. "Jen, Nick's going to be okay. I spoke to Duncan earlier. And you've got to be there for him and for your children. You can't be here. And I'm sure that's what Terry told you."

Jen's brow furrowed defiantly. "Some madman shot up my best friend's wedding and nearly killed my husband. I want to help get him."

"And that's why you can't. Jen, you know how this works!" Bernice insisted.

"You're really not going to let me even help run background? Do research?" she pressed.

"No!" Bernice's voice was raised now. If Jen hated her, so be it. But Commander Waverley had the integrity of her Homicide Squad and the ethics of policework to protect.

Jennifer was about to start shouting when another knock at the door. Bernice glared at Jen warningly before turning to open it. "Yes?"

Rhys appeared on the other side of the door with a look of determination in his eyes that never failed to make Bernice proud. "We've got a lead."

"Briefing room," Jarvis barked. "You, too, Jen, come on," he added, softer. He put his hand on the small of her back to lead her comfortingly out of her husband's office.

The squad was assembled with their folders and notepads, ready to come up with a plan of action. Jen stood in the back, hoping to not be too noticed or interrupt in any way. Oliver Taylor stood close to her and asked quietly, "How's Sergeant Buchanan doing?"

"He's going to be alright," Jen told him.

There was a visible release of tension in Taylor's whole body. "Good. I've been…we've been really worried. The sarge means a lot to me," he confessed.

Some lightbulb went off in the back of Jen's mind at that. Detective Taylor went to take his seat, and Jen watched the way Allie's eyes followed him. And Jen realized that poor Allie was barking up the wrong tree on that one.

Matt Ryan stood up front with Rhys to present their findings. "Right, so a few years ago, Homicide worked a case with a truck driver and illegal tobacco and found that this guy was getting paid a lot of money to haul chop-chop for processing." He put up a police processing photo on the board. "Colin Rankin."

Jen's breath caught in her throat. She remembered Colin Rankin. And the whole case flooded back to her.

It had been in the early days of rediscovering her life with Nick. They were both on Homicide as detectives. She'd only been back for a couple weeks after she'd been seconded to Counterterrorism. They were working together well but hadn't yet found the perfect rhythm of it again. They hadn't even been sleeping together again yet.

Even in her memories, Jen wasn't sure how she'd done it, how she'd been able to convince herself that she and Nick weren't righto for each other. The working relationship from when they were in SIS was perfect, and it had come right back to them on Homicide. And Jen had never been so attracted to a man as she was to Nick. Christ, even after all the heartache and utter devastation that their relationship had brought her, she had still loved him more than anything in the world. Why hadn't she let herself be happy? Why hadn't she had faith to grab him with both hands and start their life together? Perhaps they'd needed that time, that forced rigidity to bond them in ways beyond the romantic or sexual. They'd ended up just where they'd needed to.

But that case with Colin Rankin, that had been notable for a reason that had nothing to do with Nick. That was the case where Duncan had gone undercover, had posed as a crooked cop to blackmail Rankin. He'd worn a wire and met up with Rankin to get a payoff in exchange for the documentation that guaranteed Rankin's guilt. And Rankin had showed up with two hired killers to shoot Duncan.

That memory was burned in her brain, particularly now. Poised around the corner with her gun drawn and her Kevlar, waiting for the signal. Duncan got shot and fell to the ground and Jen screamed his name as she came out shooting the assailants. Rankin and his associates were arrested, and Jen had sprinted to Dunny's side. And when it was revealed that he had a bulletproof vest under his shirt, he'd started laughing. Nick stood by, laughing with him and helping him up, and Jen smacked him in the arm, scolding him for scaring her like that.

And now, according to the research Rhys and Karin had done, Colin Rankin had just been released from prison. He matched the description of the shooter in the church, though Jen could not quite recall the sound of Rankin's voice nor the voice of the shooter. But Rankin would certainly have a motive against Duncan.

"We're still looking for the getaway car, and we're going to track down Rankin's known associates to see if we can locate him," Allie added.

Rankin seemed to fit the bill of the shooter. The first viable suspect they'd come up with. They just had to find him.


	21. Chapter 21

Jen waited in the back of the briefing room, staying quiet and watching and listening to everything that was going on. Jarvis gave everyone assignments, and Jen paid close attention to each and every one. Rhys and Allie were assigned to finding that getaway car and hopefully the driver with it. Karin was assigned to looking up all of Rankin's known associates. And Matt and Oliver were sent to investigate and ask questions at Rankin's address on file. Jarvis and Waverley, meanwhile, were going to get in touch with the feds; they'd worked with the tobacco control in the case before and had to share witnesses and information, so it stood to reason that they'd be able to help now.

"You know what I'm going to tell you," Bernice said quietly, pausing by the door to speak to Jen after all the detectives went about their assignments.

She sighed in resignation. "Yeah, I know. I've gotta go home."

Bernice nodded and have her friend a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "Good girl. I'll call you later as things progress, alright?"

Jen gave a look to Jarvis, since they'd just discussed the same thing in Nick's office twenty minutes earlier. He gave her a subtle nod, keeping his promise that he'd keep her updated.

And with that, Jen fulfilled her role as the good girl everyone always expected her to be. Funny how that happened. She'd always been rebellious when she was young. Piercings and cutting school and hanging around dirty surfers twice her age. She'd nearly gotten arrested herself a few times before she figured out she had to make something of herself. Study hard, get in shape, dress properly, keep herself presentable but not too drab. Jennifer Mapplethorpe had turned herself into the very picture of a good cop. And she was good. She knew she was. For the most part, she followed procedure and stuck to the rules and did the job well from the time she was in uniform through making detective on Fraud to all her years on Homicide before having her family had caused her to once again be the good girl and take a desk job in the public relations department. Oh she still had a bit of rebellion in her at times. After all, she'd spent years shagging a member of her squad and even married him in secret to protect their jobs. And not only that, she'd more than once gotten herself into deadly situations that were saved only by her quick thinking and valiant reflexes. She'd killed and she'd saved lives, and all of that was down to Jennifer being a good cop. A good girl.

So yes, she did go home to see her children just as she was told. Only first, she waited till Terry and Bernice had gone up to his office to make their calls and she'd taken the elevator to her own office and smuggled her police-issue laptop from her desk. She took that laptop with access to all of the police files with her.

Because as much as she knew to follow the rules and do as she was told, Jennifer could not just sit by and do nothing. Now that her husband was alive, now that her children were safe, now that her family was rescued, Jen had work to do.

She used her spare key to enter Eloise Buchanan's house as quietly as she could. There wasn't a sound to be heard in the whole house. There were wedding things strewn about the normally tidy living room and kitchen. Jen got a small pang in her heart at that. Poor Hope. For all her theatrics, she was an extremely sweet and clever girl. Nick had a very special place in his heart for her, which rubbed off on Jen as well. Of all his sisters, Hope was the one who needed him most; she'd been only nine months old when their father died, leaving Nick as essentially the only father she'd ever known. Hope craved his approval and attention and revered her big brother above all others in the world. And, in Jen's opinion, she could not have chosen a better man to try to make proud. And Hope did make him proud. She worked in a marketing firm in the city and had been promoted very quickly, thanks to her winning charisma and brilliant ideas.

And now having Duncan as a part of their family was a dream come true for everyone. He'd come a long way from when Jen first met him, and he had become one of her closest friends in the world. The whole Buchanan family adored Duncan, and Hope made him happier than Jen had ever seen him. The fact that their wedding had been ruined in the cruelest possible way was unthinkable.

The reminder of the tragic events spurred her back to what she was doing. Jen grabbed a chocolate peanut butter cookie from the jar on the kitchen counter—they were Ella's favorite so Eloise always made sure to have them in the house—and head upstairs with her laptop. She was so distracted by enjoying the cookie that she nearly stepped on the fifth step on the crack where it squeaked so loud it would surely wake up the whole house. She narrowly avoided it by dodging and hitting her shoulder on the wall. There wasn't any sound, thankfully, just Jen hissing when her arm was stabbed by the corner of a picture frame upon impact. Ah well.

Eloise's bedroom door was closed, so Jen did not disturb her when she got to the top of the landing. Instead, she went down the hall to the other closed door and opened it gently.

Inside Nick's childhood bedroom, sleeping snuggled up together in the bed, were Ella and Cody. Jen closed the door behind her and just stood for a few minutes, watching them. She was probably biased as their mother, but she could not imagine that there were two more beautiful children in all the world. The both of them had her golden skin and golden hair. Cody's eyes were shaped just like Nick's, slightly turned down on the outer corners. Ella had Jen's nose. The both of them were the perfect blend of Nick and herself, and if she thought about it too much, if she really let herself think of the struggle and miscarriages and lost hope and fear and heartache that they'd suffered to bring these children into the world, Jen would start weeping again.

Instead of letting herself fall to tears again, Jen gave her babies a little kiss on their heads as she tucked them back in and sat down with her laptop. She logged in with her police credentials and got to work.

The children slept on as Jen lightly typed away, scrolling through prison records for anything of note about Rankin. She looked at his priors, at his history, at the reports she herself had written up all those years ago. She dug in deep to his business from before the feds shut it down. She turned over every rock she could think of in learning every little detail she could find about Colin Rankin.

By the time Ella rolled over and onto Cody's cast, waking them both up with pained grumbles, Jen had about a dozen leads to send over to her friends at Homicide. But she saved her notes to her hard drive and shut the laptop for the time being.

"Hello," she greeted softly.

The twins were both a little out of sorts, not quite remembering where they'd fallen asleep or what was going on. But they knew their mother's voice. She woke them up with that soft 'Hello' almost every day for their whole lives.

Ella sat up first. She rubbed her bright blue eyes and smiled. "Hi, Mummy."

After worrying whether trauma had rendered Ella entirely mute, hearing her sweet voice was enough to get Jen emotional again.

But leave it to Cody to bring them back to the issues at hand. "Mum, Ella hurt my arm," he whined.

"Cody, I didn't mean to!" she sniped back.

"Hush," Jen snapped. She didn't mean any harm, but she'd trained the whole family quite well on responding to that tone of her voice. She then spoke much softer, saying, "Ella rolled over in her sleep and your arm was right there. It's nobody's fault. Is anyone hurt?"

They both shook their heads.

"Good. Now, would it be okay if I come snuggle with you for a little while?" she asked.

"Why didn't you snuggle before?" Cody asked.

Jen smiled, taking off her shoes and suit jacket. "I didn't want to wake you guys up."

She crossed over to the closet and found one of Nick's old tshirts and some pyjama bottoms that he kept at the house on the few occasions they slept over. She changed into them before coming back from the closet and climbing into the bed. Ella and Cody made space for her between them, and she wrapped her arms around each of them, as was their usual way of things. It was slightly strange to cuddle them like this when Nick wasn't there, but there had been occasions when he was working long hours and she spent a day or two alone with the twins. She could pretend this was just like that. And in a strange way, it was. They were just waiting for Nick to come home to them. And he would. Jen knew he always would.


	22. Chapter 22

Nick was getting a bit maudlin, stuck in the hospital by himself. He'd spent the morning annoyed by the whole family squished in the room with him, and now that he'd had a few hours to himself, he was missing them. Hadn't Claudia once talked about regression? That when a person is injured or sick or made to feel acutely vulnerable, their mind goes back to the wants and needs of a child? Well, Nick felt like he understood that now.

He wanted to know what was going on outside the four walls of this room. He'd taken a nap for what felt like hours but, judging by the clock, it had only been about forty minutes. He felt more alert now, even if the dull but persistent pain sapped all his energy and prevented him from doing anything about his malaise of ennui.

Thankfully, his solitude was interrupted by the best possible visitors. "Daddy!" Ella cried, running into his room.

Nick could not have stopped himself from beaming at her if he'd tried. "Hey there, bug!"

Cody ran in right after, a little slower thanks to the awkwardness of his cast. "Dad, guess what!?"

"What, mate?" Nick replied with a laugh.

"We got to eat wedding cake!"

"Was it good? What kind was it?"

Cody, with a bit of difficulty, hauled himself up onto the bed with Nick. Ella had already perched herself by her father's feet. Cody described the cake in great detail. "It was white frosting with coconut, and Gram said it was fancy, but I think coconut is gross. And inside the cake, it was bright pink like our ties from the wedding and Ella and Mum's dresses. It was raspberry!"

"Did you like it? Other than the gross coconut?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was good," Cody answered.

"How about you, Ell? Did you like Hope's cake?"

Ella nodded. "I like coconut."

"Me too," Nick agreed.

"Mum thought the coconut was gross," Cody defended, pointing to his mother in the doorway.

Jen was standing in the doorway wearing one of her gray work suits. She had her arms crossed and a serene smile on her face. And even after so many years together, Nick's heart gave a little flutter to see her. Or maybe that was just the medication. "Hey there, Sergeant," he greeted to his wife.

"Hey there yourself," she answered, making her way inside the room.

Nick turned his attention back to Cody. "Your mum likes the smell of coconut but she doesn't like the taste. And I think that's really weird."

"Do you think I'm weird too?" Cody asked with grave concern.

"Yeah," Nick teased. "But all the best people are a little weird."

Ella frowned. "I'm not weird."

"Oh yes you are, you're my crawly little bug!" Nick reached out to try to tickle her, but he couldn't quite reach without feeling a pull at his surgical incisions, making him wince in pain.

Poor Ella's laughter abruptly ended and her frown deepened. "I'm sorry you're hurt, Daddy."

Nick forced a smile for her. "It's okay, Ell. If I'm hurt, it means I'm alive. And I'll be back to normal before you know it."

As he said those words, Nick realized he might be flat-out lying. He had no idea if he'd ever be back to the way he was. The bullets turned his internal organs to mincemeat, and it was practically a miracle he'd survived the surgery at all. And hadn't one of those shots damaged his spine? He could wiggle his toes and feel his legs, so he wasn't paralyzed, but Nick suddenly wondered if he'd actually ever walk again. No one had told him he wouldn't, but it did not seem quite possible that he really could come out of all this without any lasting damage.

Jen saw her husband go quiet all of a sudden, something she did not quite like. "Should we see if there's a rugby game on?" she suggested, finding the television remote on the side table.

Cody and Ella launched into an excited discussion of rugby. Of all the things in the world, one of the very few that they absolutely agreed on was rugby. They both loved it and both wanted to play as soon as they were old enough. Jen was not much of a fan of sport, but Nick certainly was. He always watched the footie, cricket, and rugby. He'd even played rugby when he was younger.

After flipping through a few channels, Jen found a game playing on one of the sports networks. The children were enthralled. She put the remote down and caught Nick's eye. He smiled softly and reached out to her. Jen gave him her hand, which he brought to his lips. And for just a moment, everything was alright.

"You okay just the three of you for a little while?" she asked him quietly.

"Sure. What are you up to?" he asked in response.

"I need to go talk to Duncan about a few things."

Nick gave a knowing hum. "Things that have to do with you wearing that suit."

"Yes," she told him.

He nodded in understanding. "You'll tell me later, yeah?"

"Of course," she promised.

Nick gave her hand on more kiss before letting go. Not to be outdone, Jen leaned over and pressed her lips to his just briefly enough to get her point across. And with that, she slipped out of the room.

Going back to Duncan's room was easier this time. She did not need to take any detours to Room 8631, not going anywhere near 8397. That way only more troubles lay. She had troubles of her own without wandering down that route.

Jen found Hope snuggled up against Duncan in the hospital bed in a way that reminded Jen quite powerfully of when Nick was recovering from Dane Majors. Jen had done the same thing. And she and Nick hadn't even been married then. They'd actually not even officially been dating. That whole ordeal had been the biggest wakeup call of her life, and at the time, being as close to Nick as physically possible was all that mattered. That was when she knew, without question, that she could never be away from him ever again. And now it looked like Hope had come to the same conclusion about Duncan.

"Hope, do you think you could go get us a couple coffees?" Jen asked after they'd all said their hellos.

The younger blonde sat up and pushed her hair back. "You trying to get rid of me, Jen?"

She smiled. "Yes, actually. I've got to talk to Dunny about some police business," Jen told her.

Hope sighed in annoyance and clambered off the bed. "You lot are so needy, aren't you?" she grumbled. But even so, she kissed Duncan and then grabbed her purse to head off for a little while. As she left the room, she paused to give Jen a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "You look good, Jen. Like yourself. Feels good to have a bit of hope again, eh?"

"Yeah," Jen replied. "But you'd know that better than anyone."

And Hope just rolled her eyes at that, leaving the cops to their business.

"What's going on, Jen?" Duncan asked, doing his best to sit up a bit straighter.

"I went by the station today. Team's hard at work."

"Yeah? What are they up to?" he asked. Despite the slight haze caused by the medication, Duncan's whole face clicked into detective-mode immediately.

"Allie and Rhys and Karin have been looking for the getaway car. Allie got a partial plate. Oliver and Matt looked into your old cases."

"Matt?"

"Waverley let him get seconded from Arson. He's got history with Homicide, he knows most of your old cases."

Duncan nodded in agreement. "And?"

"I've done a little digging of my own. And it looks like we've got a very viable suspect. But I was hoping to see if you remember anything from the shooting to see if we're on the right track."

He frowned. "I don't remember much. The guy was big. Bulky-like. Not too tall? Didn't see his face obviously. The mask. But the voice…I can hear it in my head and it's familiar, but I can't quite place it."

Jen gave a wry smile. This was exactly what she'd hoped for. "What if I mentioned chop-chop?"

Duncan's eyes went wide in recognition. "Colin Rankin! That's who it was! That was the voice, that was him! Jesus, the bastard!"

It almost made Jen laugh, his immediate passionate response. But this was no laughing matter. They knew who their man was now. They knew who destroyed the wedding and shot Duncan and Nick and Father Lewisham. And Jen knew, just like Jarvis had told her earlier, they'd get the bastard.


	23. Chapter 23

When Jen went back to Nick's room, she found Bernice there with Cody on her lap. "Oh look, Mummy's back. Is Mummy done breaking the rules?" Bernice asked pointedly.

Jen just shrugged, not giving an answer. Because Bernice did not yet know that Jen had smuggled her laptop out of the police station and done some research on her own. And that probably wasn't all Jen was going to do before all this was over.

"We were just thinking about dinner," Nick said. He saw that expression on Jennifer's face and didn't like it one bit. She was up to something, and she hadn't told him anything yet. Neither of those were things that comforted him.

Before she could answer—that she'd go get a curry for dinner if everyone else liked the idea—Jen's phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw it was a text message alert from the KALOF she'd set up on her laptop earlier. In a split second, Jen decided what to do.

She pasted a pleasant smile on her face. "How about a curry? I can go by and pick us all up something," she offered.

That idea seemed to go over quite well. "Mummy, can I have the lamb vindaloo from Kumar's?" Cody asked. That was his favorite. Some children aren't good with spicy foods, but Cody could not get enough of it.

Ella added excitedly, "And the garlic naan!" She was not as much a fan of spice as her brother, but she adored any kind of bread she could get her hands on.

"I'll get our usual," Jen promised with a smile. "Bernice, anything you want?"

"I'm good with anything from Kumar's," she replied. But her eyes were suspicious as Nick's. Bernice knew Jennifer quite well, knew her history and knew her way of taking things into her own hands when she shouldn't have. It was a trait that made her a brilliant cop, but thankfully she usually showed more restraint that Rhys or Allie, both of whom barely had enough experience or common sense to keep from getting themselves and everyone else killed in the process.

Jen turned to Nick. "Kumar's good for you?" Jen asked him.

"Yeah, sounds good." He gave Jen a look, silently asking her what was going on, what she was up to, what she was planning to do. Because he knew she wasn't just going to get the curry. She'd offered too quickly. There was something else going on. And she hadn't told him what.

But Jen ignored the look she gave him. She had no intention of explaining anything. Not yet. Because she knew that they'd only stop her. Both Nick and Bernice would tell her she was being reckless and foolish. And so she only nodded. "I'll be off then."

For good measure, Jen went around the room and gave hugs and kisses to all her loved ones. She wasn't going to be gone long, just follow up on the KALOF and then to get Indian food. But even so, she knew better than to tempt fate. She had no idea what awaited her at the end of the plan she concocted.

Jen did not go directly to Kumar's, nor did she even go directly to the address where the blue sedan had been spotted. She knew better than to go by herself. She'd been caught and nearly drowned by going after a serial killer without backup until Nick saved her and performed CPR till she was breathing again. And that was when she'd been working in the field fulltime. Now, she was a desk sergeant for public relations. She had no business going unarmed and on her own to follow up a lead. So instead, she drove to the police station. She went to her office to get her old holster before heading down to the arms lockup and signing a handgun out for herself. Her next stop was to the Homicide floor.

Thankfully, Jarvis was nowhere in sight. Neither was Matt. The superintendents were the only ones who had rank over her and whose orders she would have to obey. Rhys and Allie were in the breakroom, and Jen walked by without paying them any mind. They weren't the ones she was looking for anyway. They knew her too well, and they'd only get in her way. Karin and Oliver, however, were hard at work at their desks, just as she'd hoped.

"Smith, Taylor," Jen barked, using her 'I'm a mum so listen to me right now' voice. "With me."

Both Karin and Oliver immediately followed her orders. They had not had occasion to work with Jen before, except for press interviews she had prepared them for on occasion. But she was married to their sergeant and so they saw her plenty and knew her and liked her very much. And they knew better than to disobey a sergeant, no matter what department she worked for. They both got up and grabbed their jackets and hurried after Jen.

In the elevator, she explained, "I think I've found the getaway car. It's parked outside an apartment building in the warehouse district."

"How'd you find it? Allie's been on it for days!" Karin exclaimed.

Jen shook her head. "She's only got a partial plate. And she's never been as good at research as I was. I cross-checked the known associates of Colin Rankin with vehicle registrations and I found three cars that match the description. None of them have the same plate. But plates are easy to take off a car. And my KALOF came back with a blue sedan like the one the shooter drove off in, and it's got no plates at all," Jen said. She tried not to come off too smug, but she felt like she'd done some bloody good police work. Not bad for a middle-aged mum who drafted press releases all day.

"Ma'am, shouldn't we tell Superintendent Jarvis?" Karin asked nervously.

Jen knew she was a good girl—like Jen herself had been as a detective—but that was partially why she wanted Detective Smith to go with her. "We're just going to check it out. Could be nothing. And Jarvis hates paperwork and procedure. We don't need to bother him till we know if it's a credible lead."

"Why'd you bring us?" Oliver asked.

"Because, Taylor," Jen replied with a small smile as she led them to her car in the parking garage, "I know you'll do almost anything to find the man who almost killed Nick and Duncan."

Oliver was not a very expressive man, tending towards being broody most of the time. But his expression changed just slightly, letting Jen know she was right. This man cared for his coworkers and wanted to bring the shooter to justice. And, Jen suspected, he cared even more for his sergeant than he'd ever let on otherwise.

Jen turned to Karin. "And you, Smith, have a good level head to make sure we don't get shot ourselves."

Karin's blue doe eyes went wide. And when she got in the backseat of Sergeant Mapplethorpe's car, she took out her mobile to send a text message. _Mapplethorpe's taking me and Oliver to check out the getaway car. What do I do?_


	24. Chapter 24

Bernice was sitting with the children in Nick's hospital room, starting to get a little hungry. Jen should be back with the curry soon. But there had been something in her face that told Bernice that there was more than met the eye.

But before she could give that too much thought, her mobile rang. The Caller ID let her know it was Rhys, so she merely shifted Cody in her lap and answered it. "Hello, love," she greeted pleasantly. "Alright?"

Rhys was in no mood for pleasantries, it seemed. "We might have a problem."

That was enough to launch Bernice out of family mode and into police mode. She gave Cody a little push and pointed to Nick, indicating that the boy should go sit with his father. She stood up and went to the corner of the room, facing away from the Buchanans. "What sort of problem?" she asked in a low tone.

"I just got a text from Karin. Jen took her and Oliver to follow up on the getaway car."

"She WHAT!?" Bernice whirled around and looked at Nick. He caught her gaze and immediately knew something was wrong.

"Where is she?" he demanded, immediately knowing this had to be about Jen.

Bernice waved him off. "Where are they?" she asked Rhys.

Nick stared in horror at Bernice. Every fiber of his body begged for information as his mind spun the worst things imaginable in his head. Something had been off about Jen, something she wasn't telling him, and instead of pressing her for information, he'd let it go. He'd learned, over the years, that he couldn't do that. Jen was better than she used to be about telling him things, but sharing like that wasn't always in her nature. And now she was off doing something that had Bernice looking more worried than he'd seen her in some time. Jen was in trouble, and Nick felt panic rise in his throat at the very thought of it.

"Daddy, what's going on?" Ella asked quietly.

He longed to be able to pull her into his arms and hold her tight and tell her everything would be alright. After all, he was her dad, and that was his job. But Nick was only a day out of surgery after being shot three times, and he could barely move. "I don't know, bug," he replied softly. And that was the truth. He did not know what was going on.

Both the children watched Auntie Bernice with questions on their little faces. Nick was usually better about shielding them from things like this, but there was nothing for it now. All they could do was sit there at the mercy of Commander Waverly.

At last, Bernice hung up the phone and turned back to them. She sighed in disappointment. "Jennifer has found the shooter's getaway car. God knows how, but it looks like she did. And she's brought Detectives Smith and Taylor with her to investigate."

On the one hand, this was good news. Jen had not gone barreling ahead alone. She'd been smart enough to bring backup. But on the other hand, that was much worse. It meant she'd thought this through. Jen had thought about the dangers involved in a rogue investigation and she'd gotten two of Nick's detectives to go with her rather than reporting to Jarvis and the rest of the team to let them handle it. Nick wanted to throw something against the wall. This was just like her! So stubborn when it came to the cases that grabbed her attention. When she let herself get too involved, she was apt to be blindly reckless in her pursuit of a suspect or an answer or whatever else.

"Give me your phone," Nick insisted.

Perhaps against her better instincts, Bernice did so.

Nick found Jennifer's number quickly and dialed it. It rang twice and was sent to voicemail. "God dammit, Jen!" he cursed.

He called back again. And this time he got a response. "Curry's going to be a little longer, Bernice," Jen said. The distant sound indicated she was on speakerphone.

"Bugger the curry, Jen, get back here right bloody now!" Nick shouted.

"Nick!?"

"Do you hear me?!" He nearly swore more at her, but Cody and Ella were staring at him with terrified looks on their faces.

There was a slight pause on the line. "Why are you calling?" she asked warily.

Oh he could have strangled her, as if she didn't know why he was calling! "Karin told Rhys what you're up to. Rhys called Bernice. And she's sitting right here next to me. With our children. You remember our children, don't you? The reason neither of us goes out in the field anymore? The reason we don't get involved with situations that would need a gun?"

"Well I've got a gun. And backup. And once we get to where we're going, I'm going to have Oliver call Jarvis, alright? I just…Nick, I have to see this through," she told him.

"Why, Jennifer?" he pleaded. "Why does it have to be you?"

"Because this man nearly stole my family from me, and I want to be the one to get him. Colin Rankin is going to spend every day of the rest of his life in prison if I've got anything to do about it."

"Colin Rankin? Who's Colin Rankin?"

"Trucker running chop-chop who was caught when Duncan wore a wire and a vest and posed as a crooked cop," she reminded him.

Nick's mind flashed to the shooting at the wedding and put the pieces together. That was the man who shot him and Duncan and Father Lewisham. And that was the man Jen was going to try to find. "You found him?"

"Might have."

He let out a slow breath, willing himself to overcome the rather violent urge to vomit at the thought of his wife in danger like this. But as much as he hated it, Nick understood it. He and Jen shared that sensibility when it came to catching a suspect. It was what had bonded them over their years of working together. They both saw things the same way. Both would stop at nothing to solve a case. But would never rest till they could bring justice for the people they swore to protect and serve. And all of that was infinitely heightened when it came to their loved ones. "Please be careful," he begged.

"Of course I will," she answered softly. "I nearly lost you, Nick. A few times now. And I won't let you lose me. I know we've had close calls in the past, but this won't be one of those. You and I have got a lot more to do together."

"Yeah, we do," he agreed. His heart was pounding and his stomach roiled as the conversation took this turn. The sense of impending doom was almost overwhelming.

"Kiss the babies for me. I've gotta go," she said.

"I love you," Nick told her desperately, as though that reminder might somehow make a difference. But then, of course, Jen knew he loved her. Loved her more than anything. In the past, he'd been able to protect her and stand side by side with her in dangerous situations. He couldn't be with her now, couldn't save the day. He only hoped that his love was enough to shield her from harm now.

"Love you, too," she replied firmly.

And then the call ended.


	25. Chapter 25

Jennifer felt eyes on her in the car and felt the strongest urge to hide. But she didn't. She kept driving the car. They were nearly there, anyway.

"Ma'am?" came Karin Smith's tentative voice.

"I just got yelled at and guilted by my husband, Smith, I don't need it from you. If you don't think I'm capable of leading an observational investigation, you can sit in the car," Jen snapped.

"No, ma'am, I wasn't going to say that," Karin replied, thoroughly rebuked. "It's just…"

"Yes?" Jen was in no mood for bashfulness.

"It's just really lovely, how much he loves you. He's our sergeant and we see one side of him, but when you and the kids are around, it's just…it's just really, really nice."

Jen felt a little bad for scolding Karin. She felt all warm inside at her words and could not help but smile. "Nick and I had a tough road," she explained softly. "And if our roles were reversed, I know he'd do the same thing as me. And that's why I can't just sit back and do nothing. What I told him is the truth, and I'm not going to do anything to put myself or either of you in danger. I just can't do nothing."

"We're with you, ma'am," Oliver Taylor said from the backseat. Jen glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Taylor's eye and they shared a nod of understanding.

Two minutes later, Jen had reached the street where the getaway car had been spotted. Sure enough, it was parked right out front of an apartment building. This wasn't the best area of town, and Jen would have bet good money that after dark, these streets weren't so deserted and those alleyways were rife with all kinds of criminal activity. But none of that was of any concern to her now. She pulled the car over on the other side of the street and parked it.

"Are we going to do a doorknock?" Karin asked.

"Not just yet. I want to see what's going on first," Jen replied.

Oliver unbuckled his seatbelt and sat forward. "What are you expecting to see?"

It was very clear to Jen why Oliver Taylor fit so well on Nick's team. He was very like Nick in a lot of ways; they both shared the same traits that made for a great Homicide detective—quiet, decisive, gentle, observant, and always learning and improving. Jen felt a surge of affection for him in that moment. When this was all over, she would have to talk to Nick more about Oliver.

But she told him, "I don't quite know yet. I want to see if anyone goes to that car. I want to see if anyone goes in or out of that building. The streets are pretty empty now, but how empty? How often does anyone walk by? And can we see anything through the windows? So settle in, we're going to be watching for a while, I think."

A quiet laugh came out of Karin, prompting Jen to look at her questioningly. Karin explained, "I know you got a desk job because of your family and all, and I know Sergeant Buchanan doesn't want you out in the field because of all that, but you're brilliant. I wish you were still on our team. Jarvis is right, you're the best."

Jen was quite chuffed at that. She turned her attention back out the window and smiled to herself. "Terry can't pronounce my name, but don't let that fool you. The man knows what he's talking about."

Before anyone could say anything else, the front door of the apartment building opened. A man came out looking a bit fidgety. He was tall and thin and wore jeans and a gray jumper. He walked right up to the blue car and opened the boot. He looked up and down the street, clearly nervous about being watched. The man pulled a black carryall out, closed the boot, and went back inside.

"Oliver?" Jen did not turn towards him, her eyes glued to the building.

"Yeah?"

"Call Jarvis and get some backup here. And Smith?"

"Yes?"

"We're going to do that doorknock now."

Meanwhile, Nick was still reeling from his phone call with Jen. Bernice took her phone back, leaving Nick to just stare at his empty hand.

"Dad? Where's Mum?"

The sound of his son's voice roused him from his stupor. "Mummy's working," Nick replied. He'd given them that answer many times before. And usually it was true. This time it felt like half a lie. Jen was working, but she wasn't doing the job she was supposed to be doing. But Nick knew and understood that Jen was doing exactly what she needed to do, and he couldn't begrudge her that. Professionally he understood it and personally he understood it. As her former detective partner, he was proud of her for pressing forward and doing what needed to be done. As her husband and father of her children, he was terrified out of his wits.

"Nick," came Bernice's soft voice.

He looked up at her but said nothing.

"Would you rather me be here or at the station?" she asked kindly. "I can be here and check in with Terry and Rhys on the phone and sit with you and Cody and Ella, or I can leave the three of you be and go help out at the station. Where do you want me?"

There was a lump in his throat as Nick contemplated the generosity of that question. And it took him a moment to answer her because he did not know the right answer. It would be a help to have Bernice with him, so he could know firsthand whatever she knew, so he wouldn't be left in the dark on anything and would have her assistance with the children if need be. But she could probably be more useful if she were to go back to the station or even be on the scene if there was a raid; she was a brilliant tactical general, moving all the troops where they needed to be and coordinating it all. "Stay," he rasped out. As good as she was at being Commander of Crime, Bernice Waverly was also the godmother to his children and his daughter's namesake and one of his and Jen's best friends. And with all that had happened and all that was still happening, Nick knew he was not strong enough to be alone.

Bernice nodded. "I'll be right here. I'm going to call in and see if there's an update and tell Terry to keep us in the loop."

While Bernice stood in the corner to make her call, Nick's arm got tugged by his sweet daughter. "Daddy, where's Mummy?" she asked him. There was a certain tone in her voice that he was very familiar with. "When's Mummy coming back? I need Mummy to come back. Will you call her?" Ella was getting overwhelmed. This happened, sometimes. She was a very quiet child and often very even-keel. But when something upset her, she got obstinate and anxious and often inconsolable. Her voice cracked and wavered, a sure sign she was about to have some kind of outburst.

Nick reached out to her, trying not to wince in pain as he did. "Come here, bug. Come here to me, please," he beckoned.

Ella climbed up onto the bed and scooted herself into his arms. Nick nearly cried out when he brushed up against one of his many surgical wounds. But he kept it inside. He would be alright. Ella needed him now. This was more important than his comfort and more than worth a little pain.

"Shh, it's okay, Ell. Everything's going to be fine. Mummy will be back soon."

"I need Mummy back now," she whined.

"Ella, take three deep breaths for me," he told her. "Rest your head right here and count my heartbeats, okay? Focus on just breathing and counting my heartbeats." This was what Jen always did for Ella when she got panicky. Usually there was some very obvious reason for her distress, like if Cody broke something of hers or if she was getting in trouble for something. But this was a less obvious circumstance. Nick could not fix what he did not know was wrong, other than having Jennifer appear in the room with them to comfort their daughter. All he could do was try to keep her calm.

Cody sat on the end of the bed by Nick's feet and watched with concern etched into his every little feature. "Why's Ella upset?" he asked.

Nick did not actually know and he did not want Ella to get fixated on whatever it was, so Nick just told Cody, "Everyone's had a really hard few days. We all just need to be kind and gentle to each other, okay? Ella's gonna be fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Cody replied. But he held up his bright green plaster cast. "My arm hurts."

For some reason, Nick almost wanted to smile at that. It was torture knowing that his son was in pain and that he himself had been the cause of it, throwing Cody to the ground and breaking his arm in the fall. But just as he'd told Ella, hurting meant being alive. And that was better than the alternative. Nick just answered, "When Auntie Bernice gets off the phone, she can help you. But you've been really strong and really brave, mate, and I'm really proud of you."

A sparkle of elation appeared in Cody's eyes. He was alright. And Ella was resting on his chest, crushing his surgical wounds but finally starting to step back from the brink of a breakdown. For now, just for now, they were all alright. If only Jen were there with them.


	26. Chapter 26

Jen and Karin made their way inside the building. Oliver called for backup and then quickly joined them. The three cops all took off in different directions to knock on doors. They had two questions for everyone: do you know who owns the blue sedan parked out front and do you know Colin Rankin? They all stayed on the same floor together but spread out along the hallways to cover more ground. So far, no one had answered 'yes' to either question.

Hopefully backup from headquarters would arrive soon and they could be done with this nonsense. After all, Jen had promised to pick up curry for her family, and she was running rather late on that. But she was just so _close_, and she couldn't give up now, not till they got a result. There was someone in this building who had the keys to that blue sedan. Someone who had looked very nervous in going to it. And maybe it was entirely unrelated to the shooting, maybe that wasn't the getaway car that Rankin had used to flee the scene of his crimes. Or maybe it was but Rankin was not with him any longer. Maybe this was all a dead end. But for now, this was the only lead they had. Jen had to follow it. The mystery and the compulsion to find an answer would dog her steps till she solved it. It had always been that way for her on these cases that wormed their way under her skin. She wasn't even a Homicide detective anymore. Not a detective at all, in fact. She was a sergeant in the public relations department, which just made her a glorified publicist for the police. This here, tirelessly hunting down criminal suspects, this was what she was born to do. And even though she had gladly relinquished that duty years ago, that drive had never really left her. This case in particular, it hit far too close to home. Jen would have never even considered getting involved in the field otherwise. She had far too much else in her life to focus on to concern herself with running about carrying a gun anymore.

"Good evening, State Police, can I ask you a couple questions?"

Jen smiled, overhearing Karin's polite questioning down the way. She was careful and considerate and clever in a way that Jen certainly identified with. Karin was perhaps a bit more rigid than Jen had been as a detective and certainly bubblier. Jen never had possessed that 'cute' quality that Karin Smith with her doe eyes and bright smile had so effortlessly. But Karin was tough as nails when it came right down to it, and Jen was pleased to have her around. She was a nice foil to Oliver's quiet, stoic, gruff manner. And he was certainly useful as well. People were friendly to Karin while they were a bit afraid of Oliver. Both methods gave them helpful responses to the doorknock.

On the third floor of the building, Jen knocked on a door which was opened by a man wearing jeans and a black jumper. The same man they'd seen go to the blue sedan and take the carryall out of the boot. He took one look at the badge she held up and slammed the door in her face.

"Over here!" she called to Karin and Oliver. Jen knocked on the door again. "State Police, open the door!" she commanded.

For good measure, Jen pulled out her gun. She'd promised Nick she'd be safe, and she would be. This was just a precaution.

The other detectives rushed to her side. "Kick in the door," she commanded. One of them would be capable of it, surely. And of course, Oliver, with his solid muscled build, was more than able to do so. The flimsy lock on the cheap wooden door splintered away.

And then the shots rang out. Jen and Oliver and Karin all backed up behind the wall to avoid the gunfire.

"Colin Rankin!" Jen shouted amidst the flurry of gunshots, "You are under arrest for the murder of Father Daniel Lewisham and the attempted murder of Duncan Freeman and Nick Buchanan!" She did not have a warrant authorizing such charges, but at that moment, she did not care and it did not matter. She needed to convey her authority as a police officer and, most pressingly, establish that Rankin was in fact in there.

"Freeman's dead!" a voice shouted. "That bastard got what he deserves! I shot him half a dozen times!"

"Twice in the stomach, and he's fine! Talking and laughing with his fiancée!" Jen yelled back. It gave her a twisted sort of pleasure to be able to honestly say that, especially to this hideous man who had tried so hard to destroy everything for them.

A visceral shout of a man who had failed his one purpose in life sounded from inside the apartment. Jen could not help but feel slight vindication at that.

"Time to give up, Rankin," Jen called out. "You and your partner, put the guns down and come out quietly. No one else has to get hurt."

There was a slight pause. A single moment of silence as everyone waited to see who would make the next move. And then the man in the jeans and black jumper came sprinting out of the apartment, shooting a handgun wildly behind him.

"Oi!" Karin shouted. She ran after the man and tackled him to the ground, getting the gun away from him.

But he was ready. He let her get momentarily distracted by the gun and kicked her in the gut to get away. He clawed his way up and stumbled and ran through the hall to the stairs.

"Oh bloody hell," Karin groaned, coughing from having the wind knocked out of her. "I'm on it, Sarge," she said to Jennifer as she got up right away and kept chasing him.

Inside the apartment, everything had gone quiet. Jen and Oliver shared a look of concern. She gestured to him to cover her. He nodded. She took a deep breath to steady herself as the adrenaline coursed through her body, causing her to practically vibrate where she stood. Jen adjusted her grip on her gun and held it in front of her as she entered the room.

"Not another fucking step."

The cold voice was very different from the aggravated shouting she'd heard from Rankin just a moment before. He stood there, waiting for them. Holding the same automatic assault rifle Jen had seen pointed at her family in the church. "It's over, Rankin," Jen said calmly, still holding her gun at the ready. "The police have the building surrounded. There's no way to get out of this."

"I'm not going back to prison," he snarled.

But Jen stood firm, undaunted. "You murdered a priest and you shot two police officers in a room full of witnesses. My best friend and my husband. You could have killed my children," Jen said. Despite her vitriolic rage, her voice was even and strong. "I was standing right up on that altar, Rankin. And I was right there to arrest you the last time. You will not live a single day of freedom ever again, and you have my word on that."

Rankin shouted out again in anguish and frustration. He knew he'd lost. He knew he couldn't get out of this. He knew the end was coming. But he wasn't going to go without a fight. He opened fire.

Jen screamed and dove to the floor and fired four shots in rapid succession. And then everything went quiet. Deathly quiet.


	27. Chapter 27

Bernice turned away to focus on what Terry was telling her. "And you're sure?" she asked quietly. She was well aware that Nick and the children were watching her in rapt attention. But she needed to be sure before she told them anything.

"Where is she, Bernice?" Nick asked gravely.

"Terry's trying to get to Oliver. There's a lot going on down there," she explained.

"I need to talk to him. Please," he begged. His voice cracked with emotion.

She turned her back to him for a moment. "Terry, Nick needs information. You've gotta get something."

Over the line, Jarvis exhaled with frustration. "Yeah, alright. Put him on. I'll talk to him."

Bernice turned back and felt her heart in her throat at Nick's desperate face. "Here," she said, handing the phone to him.

"Buchanan?"

"Yes, sir?" Something in Nick reverted to professionalism in that moment. A self-preservation mechanism, perhaps.

"I've got Detective Taylor here for you. And after he talks to you, Buchanan, you better leave my team be and get yourself bloody healed up and back on the job, you hear me?"

"Yes, sir," Nick repeated.

There was a slight scuffle on the line and then Oliver Taylor's voice. "Sergeant?"

"What's going on, Taylor?" Nick demanded. "Where's Jen?"

"I don't know, sir."

"WHAT!?"

Oliver stammered upon hearing Nick's panicked shouting. "She left," he explained. "But she's fine. Not a scratch, I swear. We were met with gunfire from Rankin and his partner, Lloyd. Karin chased Lloyd down to where backup was waiting. Sergeant Mapplethorpe and I went into the room where Rankin had an automatic rifle. She tried to talk him down, but he started shooting. She dove and shot, and he went down."

Nick felt nauseous. "She…she wasn't hurt? You swear she wasn't hurt?" Tears were filling his eyes and he tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.

"No, sir. She wasn't hurt. I swear. She got up and checked Rankin, told me he was dead, and she walked away," Taylor said.

"She walked away?!" Such a thing did not compute in Nick's mind. Where was she? What had she done? What the bloody hell was going on!?

"Slight delay on dinner, sorry."

Nick whipped his head around to the voice at the door. Bernice's phone fell out of his hand. Ella and Cody both shouted, "Mummy!" and ran toward her.

Jen smiled and hugged the twins with her free hand, holding the bag with Kumar's label on the outside. "Everyone hungry?"

"Bernice, could you take the kids to wash up?" Nick requested.

With a tearful nod, Bernice took her phone back, wiped her eyes and went over to collect the children. She gave Jen a swift hug and whispered, "I could bloody kill you for that."

Jen just gave a curt nod. Her eyes were on Nick. And when the room was cleared, she just stood there, staring at him.

The silence was deafening. "Do…" Nick's voice cracked and he swallowed hard. "Do you have any idea what you put me through?"

Her eyes welled up with tears to see him so emotional. "Yeah," she answered quietly. "I do."

Nick wiped away his tears before they could fall. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm alright, Nick. It's all over," she promised.

"Get over here," he commanded, reaching out his arms to him.

Jen put the food down and hurried into his embrace. She climbed up onto the bed, careful of his wounds, and buried her face in his neck.

Nick could feel himself losing his composure completely. He breathed in the scene of her hair and felt the comforting weight of her in his arms. "I am never gonna let you go ever again, Jennifer," he vowed.

"Never gonna let you," she replied, her voice muffled against his skin. She lifted her head to kiss him. Their tears intermingled against each other's cheeks.

They pulled apart and fell quiet again. Words were never what they needed between them. Not after all the years between them and all they'd been through. The quiet was a comfort now. They just rested there, cuddled up together. Just as they'd done all those years ago after Dane Majors and after the birth of their children. Somehow, their most important moments had been like this, holding each other in a hospital bed with no words required.

Nick, however, broke the silence. "Wonder what's keeping the kids," he murmured.

"Bernice is giving us a moment, I'm sure. They'll be back before we know it and I can kiss their little faces till they push me away," Jen replied.

He chuckled slightly at that. It was slightly painful to do so, still recovering from his very recent surgery. "Ella nearly had one of her episodes. Panicked over where you were," he told her.

"You got her through it?"

"Yeah."

"Good." She brushed her lips on his jaw, feeling the stubble that had grown there since he'd shaved for the wedding a lifetime ago. "I don't know what any of us would do without you."

"Or without you," he added.

"We're both going to be just fine," Jen replied confidently. "And I've gotta say, you've got a great team of detectives there."

"Yeah, I guess you got to see Smith and Taylor in action," Nick noted.

Jen gave a little laugh. "They're really good. Though Taylor in particular is quite devoted to you."

"Yeah, I can't believe Allie still has a crush on him," he laughed.

"Does she?"

He hummed affirmatively. "But it's not my place to say anything. She'll figure it out eventually."

"How did you find out?"

"I noticed he looked at me a little different than Rhys or Duncan do. And then he had a little outburst over the coffee one day and I asked what was wrong, and he told me that his partner left him. Guy named Derek, apparently."

"Ah. Wonder if Oliver's crush on you doomed the relationship," she teased.

"Dunno. But he's a professional. Really good detective."

Jen nodded, recalling her thoughts from earlier. "He reminds me of you, a bit," she said. "In another world, you and he might make a good couple."

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'm sure we would. But he came too late to the party. About twenty years too late."

Jen smiled. It was true, they were going on twenty years they'd known each other. Hard to believe sometimes. But it was equally hard to believe that she'd ever lived her life without him. Nick was her heart and soul and entire life. And despite recent events, she would never, ever let anything put that in jeopardy. Right here, right now, she was right where she belonged: in the arms of her husband awaiting the return of their children and knowing that she'd done everything she could to protect and defend her family.


	28. Chapter 28

Late that night, after the family had all eaten their dinner and happily enjoyed each other's company, Terry arrived to see Bernice and to give the news that Colin Rankin was dead, that there would be no inquiry into Jennifer's actions—multiple witnesses saw Jen and Oliver go into the apartment and heard the automatic rifle fire before Jen and Oliver shot back—and that Rankin's driver, Marcus Laraby, confessed to the whole plot against Duncan's wedding. It was finally all over.

Terry stayed with the Buchanans for a little while. Ella sat on his lap while he had his arm around Bernice. Nick still marveled to see those two together. They were so natural and perfect as a couple and yet to think about it, given his history with his two superior officers, still boggled the mind. But they were Uncle Terry and Auntie Bernice to his children and two of Nick's best friends of all time. They were family, and he was very glad to have them there.

The nurse came by to say that visiting hours were over. Bernice and Terry took the kids to his house for the night. Jen, as Nick's wife, was allowed to stay with him if she wanted to. And she wanted to.

And so, at last, they were alone together in bed once again. Well, as much in bed as they could manage. They were squished together side by side and holding hands as her head rested on his shoulder. Not the most comfortable of things, but it would do for now.

"Any news from the doctors about your prognosis?" she asked. "Now that all the mess is over, I can actually let myself think about it now."

"How do you mean?" he asked curiously in return. "Haven't you been thinking about your husband shot to smithereens?"

She grumbled a little at his phrasing. "I couldn't think too much about it, Nick, or I'd have gone mad. You know me, fixating on things I can work on when I can't do anything about what's bothering me."

He sighed, turning his head to kiss her hair. "I know, sweetheart. But we're all alright. Everything's fine now."

Jen nodded, reveling in that beautiful fact for the moment. "You still haven't told me your prognosis," she reminded.

Nick was aware of that, but he'd not wanted to spoil the nice moment. But he'd have to tell her sooner or later. Better to do it now while the children were not underfoot and they had a some time to themselves. "The good news is that I should be able to recover just fine with physical therapy and whatever else."

"Well that is good news," Jen replied, bracing herself. "But then I guess that means there's bad news?"

He hesitated, wondering how to tell her. "I'll recover internally. My organs and things will repair and everything'll work. But the spinal injury might leave me crippled."

"Crippled how?"

"Well I'm not paralyzed, but I might not walk without a cane and I might not be able to lift much of anything."

Somehow Jen had been expecting much worse. "That's okay. We'll make do. You'll be kept out of the field at work, but you weren't in the field much at all anyway. Terry and Bernice'll make sure you can still do the job. And around the house, we can manage just fine. We might have to hire a handyman to fix things sometimes, but it'll be fine," she said confidently.

But that wasn't the part of it that had Nick concerned. "I might not ever be able to pick up Ella or Cody ever again."

"They're nearly too big for it as it is, Nick," she pointed out. "And you can still snuggle with them and hug them and have them on your lap. That part will be okay."

"And with us…"

Jen did not want to reveal that she had also had thoughts about their sex life being altered, but she told him insistently, "You and I will be fine. We've been creative before. We'll be creative again. When the time comes, when you're healed enough that we won't injure you, we'll figure it out. You and I will be just fine."

"You promise?"

She smiled to herself. "I promise. Besides, you once promised me that you'd get me off at least three times a week till we die, and I'm going to hold you to that."

He chuckled. "I'll hold myself to it, too." Nick wrapped his arms around her, amidst the wires and IVs attached to him. "Oh god, I love you, Jen," he murmured.

"I love you, too."

They just held each other for a quiet moment. Nick was the one to break the silence this time. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" he asked quietly.

"Like what?"

"Is it just the shooting and the case that's been bothering you? Or is there more? It might just be all the drama of the last few days and me being stuck here, but I can't help but feel like you're keeping something from me. Something else, maybe?"

Jen thought back and realized that yes, there was something else she'd kept from him. "Well, now that it's all over, I guess that's another thing I can let myself think about."

Nick did not speak, waiting for her to tell him in her own time.

It took her a moment to find the words. And she did her best to recite them without attaching too much feeling. She wouldn't be able to get through it otherwise. "After Duncan woke up, I went by his room to see him and see all the rest of the family. And on my way, I got a little turned around. All the rooms up on that floor have the number and the patient's last name on a little card by the door. And one of the cards had my name."

"What?!" Nick genuinely did not know what Jen was going to tell him, but this was far beyond the realms of possibility.

"Mapplethorpe. So I…I went into the room."

"And?"

She recited the story, providing salient details and trying not to let it sink inside her too much. "My father was there. Carl Mapplethorpe. He's been in a coma for a month after a heroin overdose. Apparently he's not expected to wake up but they've got him on life support because of a form the hospital had on file for him."

Nick was at a loss. No wonder Jen had seemed a bit odd. All he knew of Jennifer's father was that he'd left when she was six, a few days after her birthday, and she'd never seen nor heard from him again. Heroin overdose certainly explained some of that. But it had been over forty years since Jen had seen her father, and now to find him like that? "How do you know what happened to him?" he asked, suddenly realizing that such information was not likely to have been on that little card by the door.

Jen swallowed hard, mechanically continuing to give the information. "He had a visitor. Man named Jonathan was sitting with him when I went in. His son. Jonathan."

It was revelation after revelation. "Jesus, Jen, you've got a brother."

She let out a shaky breath. "Oh Christ, I do," she realized. She'd not put the pieces together that far yet.

"What did you say to him?" Nick asked.

"Just that I knew Carl Mapplethorpe a long time ago. That was all."

"You didn't tell him who you are? I mean that you both have the same father?"

Jen felt her head spin a bit at the prospect. "I…I couldn't."

Nick hugged her a little bit closer. He could not imagine how hard this all was for her. "Well, that's alright. But you know he exists now. And if you want to know him and tell him who you are, you can. Might be nice to have some family other than your mum."

She scoffed a little at that. Her mother was a horrid woman who was only allowed anywhere near them on Boxing Day and to attend a family birthday dinner for the children. Jen would not allow Susan to ruin Christmas or her children's actual birthday. But even though Susan Hayes was Jen's only family for nearly all her life, that wasn't true anymore. Yes, Jonathan was her half-brother by blood, it seemed, but that was not all. "I've got loads of family," Jen said. "You and Cody and Ella and Danielle and Sam and Hope and Duncan and Kimberly and Eloise and Wolfie and Terry and Bernice. They're all our family. We love them and they love us, and that's all that matters, isn't it? I never had a family before Homicide, and now I've got so many people that we've filled up two hospital rooms full of them."

He chuckled lightly. "Yeah, that's true. We've got a whole herd of family. And if you don't ever want to have anything to do with your brother, that's okay. We've got plenty, I know. But if you ever are curious and want to know him, Jen, I'll do whatever I can to help. I'll support you either way."

Jen smiled as a renewed warmth filled her. "Yeah, I know you will."


	29. Chapter 29

It took a bit of arranging, but one week after Nick woke up, they managed it. Both he and Duncan were still recovering in hospital. And as the whole family knew, nothing would stand between Hope Buchanan and what she wanted. And what she wanted was to be married to Duncan Freeman as soon as bloody possible.

Obviously they could not manage the lavish affair Hope and Duncan had originally planned. Eloise even tried to convince her daughter to postpone longer, to wait till things went back to normal and have a proper wedding then. But Hope would have none of it.

"We got shot at in the church, Mum," Hope had reminded her. "Duncan nearly died diving in front of bullets for me. I'm not going to chance anything else happening before we can be married."

"But it was all so beautiful, dear. Don't you want to have your perfect princess day? Everything all pink and lovely? Doing it in the hospital won't be the same. Duncan can't even wear proper clothes yet! Don't you want nice pictures?" Eloise asked, pointing out the possible regrets her daughter may have.

Hope was unpersuaded. "I'll be perfect and beautiful enough for the both of us. We can do a fancy photoshoot another time. Maybe for our anniversary. But I don't care if all we've got of the day are photos Matt takes on his phone. Duncan and I are getting married!" she announced definitively.

For his part, Duncan was all for it. He, like Hope, loved extravagance. But he, like his fiancée, would rather sod it all and get married as soon as possible. As he told Jen, "Me and Hope, we don't need all of that. Do we want it? Sure. That's why we planned it that way to begin with. But it's all just extra. She's really all I need at the end of the day."

She smiled at that. "Yeah, I know the feeling."

"I'm sure you do. You and Nick got married in secret," he laughed.

"Even more than that," she said, "we got married with about two weeks' notice. We were lying in bed and talking about another miscarriage I had, and Nick said we should get married."

"And you said yes?"

Jen realized she'd never actually told the whole story before. "No, I didn't say anything at all. Actually, I think I just told him to go to sleep. And then the next morning, I took a look at both our calendars and saw he had a rostered day off coming up, so I suggested that date, that I could take a couple days off and we could do it then. Nick had no idea what I was talking about, and I just said 'to get married.' And that's what we did. I got my dress the day before. We met at the registrar's office. The justice of the peace married us. We signed the paperwork, and Nick drove me to one of the very posh waterfront hotels where we spent the weekend before going back to work on the Monday."

Duncan laughed again. "I still can't believe I didn't know you got married. I didn't even know you two were together!"

"Matt was the only one who knew. But he didn't know we'd got married till we told him I was pregnant."

"Was that when you threw up on him?"

Jen blushed at that, still mortified she'd done such a thing. "Only on his shoes," she mumbled.

That just made Duncan laugh even more. "Well, then we all got to find out after that."

"Yes, all our secrets were out."

"But we all had a lot to catch up on. Still do. You and Nick have always had secrets. SIS and all."

Jen paused at that. She'd not really thought of it that way before. That she and Nick were built on secrets. To others, maybe that was true. Well, it certainly was true. But with each other… "We've kept secrets because we had to. But what it was for a long time was just our own world. He and I had our relationship and our life together away from everyone else. It's what's made us so strong, I think. For all our breaking up and getting back together before we got married, Nick and I were never really more ourselves than when we were together. We shared so much. It was just ours. And it was isolating, when we had problems, to not be able to talk to anyone else about it, but we ended up alright, I think."

Duncan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you did. You're the best couple I've ever seen. Getting to be even a little part of your world together's taught me a lot. Obviously I met Hope because of you guys, but I don't think she and I would have the relationship I have with her if I hadn't learned a lot from you and Nick."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You're a good one, Dunny. Not as full of shit as when I first met you."

"Thanks," he laughed.

Jen pulled back and took a calming breath. "Right then, you ready?"

He nodded resolutely. "Yeah, let's go."

Duncan sat up as straight as he could in the wheelchair. He wasn't able to walk more than to and from the toilet just yet, so he had to be wheeled out to the hospital chapel for the wedding. Nick should have been the one to help Duncan get ready, as he was supposed to be the best man. But obviously he wasn't in much better shape. Instead, Duncan had specifically asked Jen to be the one to take him down. He'd wanted to have this little moment with his friend, and they were both glad of it.

Jennifer wheeled him down the hall to the lift and to the chapel. Waiting there were the rest of the groom's party. Nick in a wheelchair of his own with Cody and Matt and Sam sitting in the front pew waiting.

"There's the groom!" Nick greeted cheerfully. But his attention went very quickly from Duncan to Jen. She wasn't wearing that pink monstrosity of a dress like she had for the church wedding. No one was really dressed up—Hope said she'd rather have people show up in woolen jumpers than have Duncan and Nick in hospital gowns with the rest of them in formalwear. Jen was wearing jeans and a pink hoodie in honor of Hope.

Duncan took his place up front. A justice of the peace was waiting to perform the ceremony. They greeted each other politely. Dunny turned to Sam. "Did you get it, mate?"

Sam smiled and reached to the pew behind him to produce a magnificent bouquet of hot pink roses. Duncan had asked Sam to get them for the ceremony so Hope could have one beautiful part of her day.

Jen greeted Duncan's sister, Grace, who immediately went to give her brother best wishes. Jen then went to greet her son and husband with a kiss for each of them. "You be good, Cody, and keep Dad safe, okay?" she instructed.

"Okay, Mum," her little boy replied obediently.

"And you, don't do anything stupid," she warned Nick.

"Whatever you say, Jen," he replied teasingly.

She bent down and gave him one more quick kiss for that before standing up again. "Right, I'll go see what's holding up the bridal party. Back in a tick."

She hurried down to where she'd left Hope, Danielle, Eloise, and Ella. It quickly became clear to her what the holdup was.

"You should have flowers, you twit," came a familiar voice.

"I don't need flowers," Hope snapped. "Besides, it's a hospital and all the flowers go to the sick people." The bride was talking to her phone screen, obviously on a video call with her sister, Kimberly. Kim had gone back to Sydney a few days before, but they'd promised to have her be present for the wedding this way.

Danielle took the phone away from Hope and ushered her towards their mother. Jen saw Danielle speak to Kim and explain, "She's trying really hard to not make a fuss and to have a good day despite the circumstances. She doesn't need you to remind her of all the things she's not gonna have. And the flowers are killing her. You know she almost started crying in the car when she remembered a bouquet and realized there wasn't time to get a proper one? She didn't want to get anything from the gift shop since those are for patients. So shut up, Kimmy!"

Jen did not want to get involved in any of that. She instead looked around to find the one person she wanted to talk to. "Hello, sweet girl," Jen said softly to her daughter.

Ella was sitting on the floor with a book and her SamBun clutched in her embrace. She looked up from what she was reading and smiled at her mother. "Hello, Mummy."

"Why are you down here, Ell?" she asked, bending down to be closer to Ella's level.

"Auntie Hope is being a lot," Ella replied with a precocious sigh.

Jen had no doubt that this was true, but the phrasing nearly made her laugh. "Thank you for being quiet and respectful of the grownups," Jen told her. "But I think we're nearly ready, so why don't you get up now? Are you at a good stopping place in your book?"

"One more page."

"Finish it up," Jen instructed. She watched adoringly as her daughter's bright blue eyes went back and forth over the page. Ella was so clever and loved to read. She was well beyond her age-level for her reading and her maths. Cody wasn't as much interested in academic pursuits, but he had plenty of other talents. He was incredibly creative and artistic, drawing and making up stories and creating things whenever he had the chance. Jen was so proud of both her children always, but the differences between each twin was quite remarkable to her.

Ella closed her book and stood up. "All done. Is it time for the wedding now?" she asked.

Jen looked to Danielle who gave a nod in her direction. "Yes, it's time."

The bridal party all gathered together to walk into the little chapel. First went Ella and then Jennifer and then Danielle.

Eloise walked her daughter down the aisle, even though they were all just wearing casual clothes and there weren't flowers and there was no music. As everyone watched Hope walk towards Duncan, what was missing from the wedding was immaterial. Hope's lovely face was so filled with joy and love, she looked as though she were walking on a cloud of bliss. And her gaze was fixated on Duncan.

Eloise kissed her daughter's cheek and sat down with everyone else. But the wedding couldn't start just yet. "Hope, come here," Nick whispered from where he sat in his wheelchair next to Duncan.

With a curious expression, Hope went to see her big brother. But as she approached him, he did something she really did not expect. He planted his feet flat on the ground, put his hands on the armrests of the wheelchair, and pushed himself into a standing position. Hope gasped, worried for him. But Jen watched and smiled with tears in her eyes. Nick had told her he wanted to be able to give his sister a proper hug at her wedding, to be able to stand up for her the way he'd tried to do her whole life. And that's exactly what he did.

Nick reached out to her and gave her a gentle hug, careful to avoid his stitches. "I'm really proud of you," he whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek. "Go get married, Hopey." And just as gingerly as he'd gotten up, he lowered himself back down into the wheelchair, feeling shockingly winded and wobbly.

If Hope were not emotional before, she was barely holding it together now. She went back to her place standing next to Duncan. He smiled at her and gave a somewhat exasperated sigh. "Your bloody brother stole my idea, but I think I can best him this time," he said.

"What do you mean?"

Duncan showed her what he meant. He, like Nick had done, carefully stood up. But he did not just give her a hug and sit back down. "I'm gonna marry you no matter what, but I think I'd like to stand beside you to do it."

Tears fell down Hope's cheeks as she held his hand to keep him steady.

"Oh, one more thing. A bride can't get married without a bouquet." He gestured to Sam to bring the roses forward to hand to Hope.

She was crying nearly uncontrollably now. Duncan hadn't known what Hope had said to Danielle about the flowers, but others did. A small gasp of understanding came from the phone that Danielle was still holding so Kim could watch the wedding.

"Right, _now_ we can get married," Duncan said.

The justice of the peace performed the very abbreviated ceremony. Jen sat in the pew with her daughter beside her, watching it all. She did not take her eyes off the bride and groom, but she could feel Nick's presence across the aisle from her. She knew that he was watching, too, and probably as pleased as she was that they weren't involved in the middle of everything for once. They could just sit and watch.

Duncan and Hope repeated the vows and exchanged their rings and kissed triumphantly to the applause of their family. Duncan pulled back from her with a beaming smile. "Alright, Mrs. Freeman?"

Hope was still crying tears of joy. She laughed, and replied, "Oh yes. I just love my husband."

"Good," he replied. "Because I love my wife."

She then helped him back to his wheelchair and wheeled him out, back up to his room where they could have some time alone. It would be a while before they had a wedding night, but they didn't mind waiting a little while for that.

The rest of the family made their way out. Cody and Ella each took one handle of Nick's wheelchair and wheeled their father out with Jen to help them. The little family went back to Nick's room, just the four of them, all smiles.

For the first time in a while, since the first time Hope and Duncan tried to have their wedding, they were all properly happy. Finally, there was a happy ending.


	30. Chapter 30

It took almost five months, in the end. Five months of intensive physical therapy and strengthening exercises and doctors' appointments and modifying living routines before Nick felt ready.

Jen was incredible, bless her. She checked in on him quite a lot; it was obvious she was concerned. But she didn't nag, she didn't baby him, she didn't tell him he was doing too much or not working hard enough. She let him go at his pace and try what he needed to, and she was right there with him the whole way.

The whole family had seen a counselor for the first two months. There had been too much trauma for them to deal with on their own. Nick might have once been too stubborn to do such a thing, but he knew Jen wanted him to give it a go, and he wanted to make sure that the children felt safe to do the same. Ella had nightmares for a while, and Cody was acting out more than usual. The therapist really helped them both. And Nick and Jen both had a place to air all their fears and concerns that they knew they could not just get through on their own.

Those five months passed as best they could. Nick was discharged from hospital and was given a wheelchair and walker and cane, each of which was used as he got stronger and stronger. The first hurdle was being able to get up and down the stairs. The family were patient with him, and only once or twice did he feel patronized by it. But he managed. His determination and desperate need for a return to normalcy saw him through.

Cody's arm healed and the cast came off. He and Ella started Year Two at school. She was a star in maths, he was envied by all the children for his art projects. Nick and Jen both were as proud as could be.

For their seventh birthday, Nick still managed to bake their breakfast birthday cakes. He was using the walker by that point, and Jen was a useful sous chef, getting all the ingredients prepared so he wouldn't have to go back and forth too much. Despite the difficulty in standing for extended periods of time, Nick managed to decorate Cody's chocolate cake with a rugby pitch and Ella's strawberry cake with a piped picture of SamBun. The kids were ecstatic, and the extra painkillers he'd needed were well worth it for that.

But then, finally, Nick got to go back to work with just the cane. His job was nearly the same as it always was. He could not go out into the field at all, though he'd not done much of it before. He got to the point where he could lead his team and conduct briefings and walk around the office even without the cane. Rhys and Allie and Oliver and Karin were all just as dedicated as ever. If anything, the ordeal had brought them closer together as a team. And when Duncan returned to the job—just desk duty for the time being, even still—their working family was back together. Nick couldn't have been prouder of his team.

Home, however, was still his favorite place. As much fulfilment as he got from the State Police and however committed he still remained, Jen and the kids and their house were his sanctuary. When he was working late, coming home to Ella and Cody rushing to greet him and Jen having a smile and a kiss waiting were all he needed.

"DAD!" Ella shrieked when he walked through the door one day.

That caught him off guard. Ella was not one to shriek most of the time. "What is it, bug?" he asked.

She came running towards him. "I lost a tooth!" she told him excitedly. She bared her teeth to show the whole in that bottom row of tiny baby teeth.

"Congratulations!" And without even thinking about it, he bent down and lifted her into his arms.

A gasp sounded, and Nick looked up to see Jen smiling with a look of awe. It took Nick a minute to realize that he'd done it. He'd gotten to pick up his daughter. A feat he'd never actually believed might happen ever again. He'd been walking unaided for a few weeks and built back a lot more of his strength, but he had not tried to push himself yet. Picking up Ella hadn't even crossed his mind, and he'd done it without a problem.

He swallowed back a lump in his throat and kissed her cheek. "Put the tooth under your pillow for the fairy," he told her softly. And after one more kiss, he carefully put her back down.

Jen walked over to him as Ella skipped back to the sofa where she and Cody were watching a rugby game. "You did it, sweetheart," she said softly.

All Nick could do was grin. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"You okay?" she asked with concern.

He nodded. "I'll take an extra painkiller if I need it, but I don't feel anything now."

"Good." She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He kissed her back quite happily.

Nick thought about all the progress he'd made over the five months since the shooting. He was nearly back to normal. Nearly. But there was still something very important still missing from life that prevented the feeling of normalcy.

He waited till he and Jen got into bed that night before he brought it up. "I think this might be a good weekend to see if Terry and Bernice want to take the kids," he mentioned casually.

"Oh?" she asked turning towards him while rubbing lotion on her arms. "What have you got in mind?"

"I know I'm not one hundred percent yet, and I might never be, but I didn't think I'd be able to pick up the babies anymore, andI did. So I think it might be time for us to figure us out."

Jen smiled, biting her bottom lip. "You sure?"

"You don't want to?"

"No," she answered quickly. "No, I…god, Nick, I miss you like crazy. I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I don't either. But Jesus, Jen, it's been five months since we had sex. We've never gone that long since before we were on Homicide together," he pointed out.

Jen knew he was right. And the drought in their sex life had not escaped her. But his well-being was first and foremost on her mind. She would just die if anything happened to injure him again after his hard-fought recovery. "I'm going to do some research," she decided.

"Research?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You leave it to me, Nick. On Saturday, you drive the kids to stay at Terry's or your mum's or whoever can take them. And I'll have everything ready."

The next few days were practically torture. The anticipation of knowing that he'd finally get to be with Jen again were agony. But he knew how incredible it was going to be if they could just manage to find their way to rekindle their love life. Nick had no illusions that he'd ever again get to pick up Jen and shag her standing up in the middle of the room or even braced against the shower wall. But they could take it slow, they could find positions that would work for them, and they could get back the one thing that had always been the hallmark of their relationship.

True to her word, Jen did her research. She did it on a private browser on her personal computer when no one was around to see her, but she did her research. She took copious mental notes—for she knew better than to leave a paper trail—about sex tips and positions that were best for people with back injuries. Nick's wasn't precisely a back injury, but he had been shot and the lingering problems were with his spine more than anything else. She had an arsenal of ideas ready to go by the time Saturday arrived.

Nick drove the kids to Terry's house where Bernice greeted him. She was in her causal weekend clothes—jeans and a jumper—and she gave hugs and kisses to each child before sending them inside for ice cream. Terry greeted them in passing as he came out and put an arm around Bernice's waist. Nick could not help but smile.

"Alright, Buchanan?" he greeted.

"Good, yeah. You?"

"Can't complain. Looking forward to a weekend with the kiddies. What have you and the missus got planned?"

Nick did not actually have an excuse lined up. "Just some time alone," he said.

But Terry caught his meaning. "Ah, recovered enough for a roll in the hay, have ya?"

Bernice elbowed him for his complete lack of tact, but Nick just laughed. "We'll see. Can't find out with the kids underfoot."

"Well enjoy your weekend and please don't say anything more," Bernice warned.

"Wasn't going to," Nick answered. "Oh, and by the way, Ella's lost a tooth and has another loose, so if it falls out today, we give her a dollar from the tooth fairy."

"Bloody generous tooth fairy," Terry grumbled.

Nick thanked them both again for watching the children and got back in the car, eager to go home to his wife to see what she had planned.

"Jen?" he called as he walked back in the house.

"Upstairs!" she yelled back.

He smiled and took the stairs two at a time, not just because he was excited but he _could_. And when he arrived in the bedroom, the lights were dimmed low—god he was glad he installed the dimmer two years ago—and Jen stood there by the bed wearing a set of bright pink lace lingerie that nearly stopped his heart. "Oh god, Jen."

"This was what I was wearing on that day. Under the bridesmaid's dress. I wanted to come home after the wedding and have you find me like this and make good use of it. But obviously we didn't get to do that. But better late than never, eh?" she said with a grin.

Nick was speechless. It did not escape him that the last time they'd made love was that morning of the wedding. A quickie in the shower. He remembered it fondly. Though if he'd known it would be their last time for five months, he might have done things a bit differently. And he'd not known that Jen had this romantic, sexy plan for after the wedding, wearing neon pink lace that left very little to the imagination.

It had been so long since he'd gotten to see her like this. He'd been in the hospital for weeks, then home but on so many painkillers that any shred of sexual feeling was wiped from his whole body. By the time he'd felt any kind of hint of arousal again, he was still barely walking. Jen was taking care of him and the kids, and they were both busy with work. He'd gotten to sleep beside her and kiss her softly and hold her in his arms plenty of times over the last months, but it wasn't the same. The intimacy of being together was always present between them, the need they both had to touch and be touched by one another. But the electric passion between them, the desperate yearning of erotic desire, that had been lacking. It was something Nick had always been so proud of that he and Jennifer shared, something that had never cooled between them; when they had sex, whether lazily making love on a Sunday morning before breakfast or a rough shag against the wall, they'd shared a connection that was so rare out there in the world.

Nick wanted that back. He wanted her. "You're so beautiful," he said. His voice was gravelly with want, and as he stared at her, he felt the warm bubble of desire churn in his belly.

Jen took two steps toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you," she said.

His hands were trembling as they found the curve of her waist. Her skin was hot but shivered beneath his touch. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in toward her.

"Before we start," she warned, stopping him from kissing her just yet, "you've gotta promise to tell me if you feel any pain or discomfort. I've done a lot of research and I can make adjustments. But we're going to take it slow, okay?"

He nodded. He couldn't answer her verbally. He just needed to kiss her. And this time when he leaned in, she let him capture her lips with his own. Their mouths moved together in a well-practice rhythm with teeth and tongues stoking the fire between them. The fire that they'd missed for so long.

Nick's hands wandered over her body, massaging her bum beneath its lace covering and up the beautiful softness of her back. His mouth moved down to taste her neck and tease that spot she liked behind her ear.

While Nick was busy, Jen started undressing him. He was wearing just a tshirt and jeans, so she pulled the former over his head and giggled slightly as he groaned in annoyance at the interruption from his task. He cooperated by kicking off his shoes as she unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers. She stroked him through his trunks, making him whimper against her skin and bite down on the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

Jen pulled back, then. Her eyes were dark and slightly glassy with arousal, and he was sure his were just the same. "Clothes off," she instructed, swallowing hard. "And lie on the bed on your back with that pillow under your hips."

He'd not noticed the bed before this, and saw that the duvet was pulled down and there were a number of pillows arranged in odd places. "What's that for, then? You gonna have your way with me?"

"Yes, actually," she laughed. "Until we're sure you won't damage anything from getting too athletic, you're not going to be doing anything too strenuous."

Nick actually frowned at that. This was not what he'd had in mind. "But what about…"

"Don't worry," she interrupted. "You'll enjoy yourself."

"I'm sure I will, but I had…plans."

A naughty smirk crossed her lips. "I'm fairly certain that my plans will match yours pretty well," she countered.

"But if I'm lying on my back…"

She interrupted again. "Nick, do you trust me?"

"'Course I do."

"Then stop whining and get naked and lie on the bed," she commanded.

He did as he was told. The way she smiled as she watched him made his heart flutter with anticipation. He really did trust her and he was sure they'd have a lovely time. But being confined to that position was more limiting than he'd anticipated.

Jen waited till he was settled before she joined him on the bed. She kissed him deeply with her hands on his chest. Even after being shot and being stuck in recovery for months, he'd somehow gotten even more muscular thanks to all the hard work he'd done in physical therapy. Her lips moved down his neck. Her tongue darted out to taste the sweat of arousal beginning to form on his skin. God, she'd missed this! She continued to his chest. She teased his nipples with her teeth and delighted in the way he groaned at the sensation. From there, she reverently kissed each of the scars he'd earned from his lifesaving surgery. By the time she reached his cock, he was fully erect and waiting for her.

She settled herself down between his legs. All those months ago, she had wanted to wear this lingerie and suck him off the way he liked, but as she'd said before, better late than never. Her tongue swirled over the head of his cock while her hand gave a gentle squeeze to the shaft. She took him in her mouth as deep as she could, till he hit the back of her throat, and sucked hard.

"Jen, stop," he gasped.

Immediately, she let go of him and lifted her head. "What's wrong?" she asked, slightly panicked.

He was breathing heavily but he laughed. "It's been too long. I can't last. And I don't like the chances of rallying for a second showing today."

"I was gonna do that thing with my tongue," she said, pouting slightly. She really had wanted to do that for him, have him tremble with erotic desire.

"Next time. I wanna finish inside you," he replied.

That's what Jen wanted, too, so she relented.

"Would you take that pink thing off and come over here now?" Nick requested.

"Oh?"

"If I've gotta stay on my back, you'll have to come sit on my face."

She grinned. "See? I told you our plans would coincide nicely."

Anticipation sparkled in her eyes as she unhooked the bra and peeled it off her body and shimmied out of her knickers. She crawled over him and settled with her knees just above his shoulders. He hummed hungrily as he pawed at her bum, pulling her down over his face. She screamed his name almost immediately as his mouth caressed her folds, his tongue plunging inside her and flicking her clit, his teeth grazing over her and his lips sucking on her hard. He was like a man dying of thirst in the desert and the oasis lived between her legs. Jen gripped the top of the headboard tightly, desperate to keep herself upright. As it was, her whole body was trembling right on the edge of climax already. It had been so long since she'd felt his touch, gotten to feel the talent of his tongue on her.

"Come for me, Jen," he begged, his voice muffled between her thighs. His hands moved up her thighs and belly to her breasts, caressing and squeezing them in rhythm to his suckling mouth, and Jen shattered.

Nick didn't stop. He lapped up her juices, riding through her orgasm, eager to give her another on its heels. He shifted, moving his hands back to her hips to hold her in place and then reaching one hand up to thrust and curl two of his fingers inside her. He looked up to see the way she was panting, her face the picture of ecstasy. He took her hard, his hand and mouth working in tandem to make her come again. Jen nearly collapsed, unable to maintain any strength; he'd turned her whole body to jelly.

She practically fell off of him, flopping down to catch her breath and avoiding landing on him and hurting him. "Jesus, that was good."

Nick smiled with pride. He wiped his mouth with his hand as he waited for her to recover. He reached his other hand out towards her to stroke the soft skin of her thigh. "I need you, Jen," he beckoned.

Jen nodded, though he could not see her. She got up and straddled him, leaning in to kiss him once softly before sitting up and sinking down onto his erection hard. She couldn't help the cry of satisfaction that fell from her as she felt him fill and stretch her. Without much pause, she planted her hands on his chest and lifted herself up before slamming down again. She rode him hard and rough, grinding down on him. Nick grasped her hips with bruising strength, moving her faster and faster. She was so close, and it took everything in him not to thrust up into her, knowing that he'd more than likely pull something in his back if he did. The pillow was in such a position that his spine was perfectly straight and supported as Jen rode him hard. He tried to stroke her as best he could until she shattered.

Her extremities went numb as her head rolled back and she cried out, her overpowering orgasm pulsing through her whole body and continuing as Nick came inside her with a mighty roar of her name. When he finally stilled, she tipped forward, resting against his shoulder with his cock still inside her.

Eventually, she had to let him slip out of her when she rolled onto the bed but still holding him close. "Did you like my plan?" she asked breathlessly.

"Incredible," he replied. His heart was thundering in his chest and he was losing consciousness very quickly.

They were quiet after that. Nick held her in his arms and stroked her skin until he fell asleep. Jen lay there with him until her breathing went back to normal. She then sat up to pull the bedsheet over them while he dozed. She herself was wide awake now, energized from multiple orgasm.

And so as Nick rested, Jen just watched him. She watched the life-giving air moved his chest up and down. She could feel the thrum of his pulse. Jen felt like she never wanted to let him out of her sight ever again. She would, of course, it would be silly otherwise. But for the rest of her lives, she knew, she would always be watching him. Just as he would always be watching her.

**THE END**


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